I'm feeling bad but not showing it...

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I act so happy or tough all the time. I'm tired really. I don't know why but my head is all over the place. I am just thinking a lot. I've been cutting my arm like crazy lately (don't worry it's not so bad I need hospital or anything) and banging my head a lot. No one knows I am doing this.

It's because of ongoing issues with living in this group home (I mentioned the issues in a previous post). One of the guys is being nasty to me and always saying I should leave because I am 'ruining everything in the home' and because I dared to complain about a different resident's behaviour when he banged his wall really hard and made me jump, he shouted at me 'That's what you get in a group home, we all have behavioural problems, if you don't like it go away, leave.' This made me sad and I sat for a while with my rabbits and cried. I'm also stressed because another of the residents (who banged the wall) always puts his music on loud and turns it up if someone tells him to turn it down (p**k) and he goes in our fridge and throws our food out if it's like one day out of date. It really p****s me off and no one is listening to me when I say how upset it is making me. He fingers all of my food, even the good stuff and makes it 'contaminated' (I have OCD) and then I have to throw it away. I can't keep any food in the kitchen that my Mum has made for me because he'll throw it away. No one tells him off enough. Also, when he gets in a mood and bangs the wall, it knocks my freeview connection out of the wall and as it is (not very cleverly) positioned behind the television, I can't put it back in.

I am also worrying about the baby rabbit, Kenny who we bought on Friday. It's been a long time since I had a baby rabbit and I have been worrying constantly about whether I am looking after him correctly. The vet seemed to say everything that my other vet DIDN'T say to do with Jen and Jas. That was only 6 1/2 years ago as well.

All this stress is having a physical effect on me. I feel tired, dizzy and nauseous all the time. My tics (Tourettes) are really bad which of course is p*****g everyone off more (yeah, I would stop it if I could) and I just feel generally unwell. I thought this house would be a good place but now I am not so sure, but there's no other option for me because I am legally homeless (I can't live with my parents) and there's nowhere else that I can go to because the MK council will only fund certain places. I don't know why the nasty man is telling ME to leave, I think it's him who should leave, at least I am making progress while he just sleeps all day then complains about staff not taking him out enough (he refuses to go when they do).

Sorry for the long rant. I'm feeling pretty hopeless at the moment...

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I take it this is a group home for the mental-health folk and not the disabled folk? Don't know why I am making the distinction. Maybe because there is two different types: the one that's across the alley from my house which houses people with LFA and Downs and the sort and the other is what my older was considering as he is bipolar and has trouble maintaining a roof over his head. Don't know but it sounds like you're getting a raw deal. I don't know how I'd feel in your shoes but I can sympathise with your problems, especially Tourette's as I am dealing with that now.

How unpleasant for you!
Maybe you could get a small fridge for your room?
Maybe you could talk to whoever is running your home and file a complaint against that guy?

I've got a small fridge but it's broken and on the upper floor. As I have severe tics in my upper body, carrying vast quantities of food down to the kitchen without throwing it is difficult. I think I might take things higher and make a complaint because I am getting pretty sick of being treated this way.

It's a specialist home for people with HFA/AS, not LD or mental health. It's interesting that you made that assumption because that's what it feels like at the moment...

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I feel sorry for you.
I hope things will improve very fast in your home and in your life.

This is terrible..
Ugh I can't think of something, but if you are really pissed off about the music, if you want to take revenge either get yourself a loud sound system and turn it on loud when your neighbour turns it on loud, or get a pair of scissors and cut some cables from your neighbour