Started cutting myself again

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I don't think I want to be around normal people anymore, they don't understand what its like not being in control of your emotions.
Everything I do is wrong and am treated like an idiot most of the time, want to commit myself and have them throw away the key.
I started slicing my arms yesterday over something happening on sl, I feel compelled to cut deeper so I can f*****g feel something,
but I have nothing left inside to feeling anything

You need to find something els that can stimulate your senses and snap your mind out of depression. I prefer to go somewhere quiet (dusk or dawn is best), relax, look out into obilvion and just focus on the colours and refuse think of anything other than how nice the sky looks and how the water in the lake feels against my hands.

I hope you can find something similar.

There are many ways for you to feel things, like pain. Cutting yourself may injure you to the point that you may end up at the hospital, or maybe something worse, i suggest letting a rock fall on your toe, stick your finger in hot water etc.

Please find something else -- ok you do it to feel something - guess what --- It probably hurts the people around you more than it hurts you. I doubt you have any idea of the pain you are causing the people you know because they see your pain, even empathize with your pain and have no clue as to how to help. I get angry with the cutters I know because I don't know how to help and I feel their pain and they do nothing to change their perceptions or themselves for the better.

You want to feel something? Then get off your pity pot and go volunteer at a children's hospital with the terminally ill children to read and play with them.
Go to a hospice ward and volunteer there. Go down and help in a soup kitchen.

I have not been understood, I have done everything wrong and have beentreated like an idiot for 60 years. So I know how that feels. Just deal with it, life is a b***h. Cutting is not the solution.
Go to plan B since plan A clearly does not work.

I am not asking for pity, I am at my wits end, I don't want to do this, I can't even cry to relieve what I am feeling inside, I don't have anyone in my life to turn too, sorry bother asking for help

Get another habit to replace it with. I don't are what it is just pick something! I personally have some odd solutions that work for me (don't do #9, thats for me only):
1. Bounce on an exercise ball
2. Workout
3. Play with Slinkys... shiny wonder coils of amazingness!
4. Sniff things (feet, shoes, carboard boxes, hair, clothes, I don't care just don't sniff cleaners or rubber... one time I sniffed my brother's rubber drum pads & when I told him it made me happy he got scared / don't make yourself high instead like I did by accident)
5. Jump a lot
6. Spin around
7. Do my weird jumping/spinning/dance routine where I keep ending up bumping-slamming myself into walls (it feels good but b/c I'm at college I only do this when I go home to avoid dorm damages)
8. stretch
9. lift weights (or do what I did & get a sibling to let them lift you or have them hold you up & toss each other around)/ If someone else does this w/ people get some training & have a spotter/ a willing friend to help, otherwise stick with lifting or throwing a giant, dead weight around w/o ripping your muscles to shreds in the process though. I'd avoid doing this one... unless your me.
10. crush yourself (carefully) w/ your own mattress

p.s. Another odd habit of mine (as a kid) was eating play doh /I don't suggest this one though! & #9 for me was the result of having a mother who was an acrobatic gymnastics coach 'til I graduated from HS (& I still always sucked at gymnastics & anything else athletically ).

Friskeygirl,
I am trying to help. I did not say you were asking for pity. I am saying you probably feel pity for yourself (ever asked your self "why me"). You have a habit; like an alcoholic who wants to quit but they walk into the liqueur store, buy something, open the bottle. You probably go in the bathroom, pick out something, and open a vein. There is time between the thought of doing and the doing where you can change behavior.

You don't need to cry to find relief.
Peko has great suggestions -- I dance/ loud music if possible.
If you have a yard get a log and an axe - great reliever. Do house work in roller skates -
You did not say if you were on medication - see a doctor -- and this you probably already know.

Read my signature - You have an obsession. It will lead you to a downward spiral. You need choices. Only you can change yourself. And you know what the secret is??
'Just Do It'

As the great and wise Yoda said,
"Try not. Do or do not, there is no try."
-- Yoda

Every so often I devolve into self harm. For me, the best way to snap out of it is one of two things: 1) Make myself busy--read a book, watch movies, exercise, anything really. 2) Spoil myself--get myself a nice bottle of wine, buy some books, pick myself up something that I wanted.

Hope this helps, and I feel that I don't want to be around "normal" people as well. As a result I end up isolating myself, which usually isn't good.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me or something.

David

Try a writing in a dairy. Paper will never judge you, and always is ready to listen. I often find that writing down one's thoughts and feelings helps to sort through them. Asking for pity and asking for help are different, and I think that all of us are here to help. I would not be posting here if I did not understand how you felt, and did not want to help.

Where do you live?

http://aspergers.meetup.com/

Make some aspie friends in the real world. They can help.

Yes you need to find some other ways of stimulating your brain. Workout did it for me, then cycling, then Ironman. It is like a drug almost. I'm hooked and I'll be doing this for as long as I can.

You need to find an outlet, without hurting yourself. And you need someone to talk to.

I used to cut for a few months and then made up my mind to quit and then failed many times and then eventually made it 4 months until now. I still keep wanting to do it again. Anyway, I'm sure you'll get through it.

No offense, why should one cut oneself?

It would be better to hit a wall or run in circles until you vomit, it may end up getting very serious.

Why do some people eat so much they end up so big they become bed bound?

Why do people drink?

Why do people smoke even though they know it is bad for them?

Why do people do drugs when they know full well how dangerous it is?

Why are some people addicted to sex?

Why are some people workaholics?

Brain pleasure centers SHALL NOT BE DENIED. They always get what they want. The trick is in finding some activity both pleasurable and safe, and preferably good for you too.

well coming off of antidepressants a few weeks ago may have contributed to these feelings, but keeping
myself busy has helped alot, and just avoiding people or situations that my trigger these thoughts, so far
this weeks has been very good.

Congrats. Don't give into it. Yes, keep busy and avoid negative stimuli.

To share my experience, I keep busy by working out. And I avoid bad stimuli by walking instead of driving (HATE TRAFFIC!! !! UGH!) and by leaving the house if the neighbors are loud, and by going to another shop if a shop is too busy, and by not answering the phone. The toughest part is dealing with stress on the job, of course. I work in an office for a large publicly traded multinational. The huge egos I have to contend with, and the disruptions, and the politics and the social games, drive me crazy sometimes. Grrrrr. So I go take a lunch, go home, and run for 30 minutes. That always helps.

I play on SL too, if you mean second life.
I used to cut a lot. A hell of a lot, to a point I am now scarred for life.
I dont do it now as one day I almost cut the muscle.
It is safer to throw things and punch things generally, or go out and run or walk top speed to try and get rid of some of the energy, or to simply accept, sometimes you will be numb. I too get upset easily, thus I simply avoid most people in rl and sl now.