Stress, Depression, and a Virgin.

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This could technically go in the "love and dating" thread, but I think it's more appropriate here because it's depression related.

I'm an extremely curious virgin...kind of picky but I wouldn't say I'm really picky because when I go out, I usually see one or two women that I would like to talk to and I don't exactly live in New York or LA or Texas where there are beautiful women everywhere.

The problems are that even at my happiest, I'm unable to introduce myself to a new woman. Also, and perhaps more importantly, I find it hard to stay focused on anything, even something that's supposed to be fun like meeting someone attractive of the opposite sex.

I also am prone to random depression, usually not non-lasting (am on medication for it, but it can only help so much) so I don't feel a relationship, as much as I would like one, is the right thing right now. I'm more likely to just find a hook up, get the sex over with, but that goes back to the original problem, that even when I'm bright, I'm unable to introduce myself to new women due to anxiety.

The good news is, the anxiety is at the lowest level its ever been. It isn't the heart-pounding, sweat-inducing anxiety. It's more like the jitters that come with the uncertainty of talking to someone new.

My self-diagnosis: I need to find a "hook-up" with a reasonably attractive looking woman as soon as possible. Even when I'm "happy," I'm not happy because I'm spending my time pre-occupied thinking about sex and hot women.

Just not sure how to meet this woman?

The good news is, I've made things easier for myself and put relationship expectations to the side.

personally i use myspace to scope out the locals. usually friends of friends.
as far as sex goes, success has been met that way. i just make flirty friends on there and on there i'm better at talking than RL. it's gotten me laid a couple times. we just make plans tohook-up in real life and there you have it

relationship-wise i could prolly have success that way too and prolly would if i didn't have the damnable prolblem of not having a car or job. i just don't feel comfortable in a relationship as a man in modern society without these seeming necessities. so until then i feel like a vagrant, street bum, charity case. and don't want to drag any girl down with me through a relationship solong as that is true.

It's probably a good way to battle your anxiety. As for being preoccupied with sex, having sex could conceivably make that worse for a while, but it will get you over whatever inferiority you may feel as a virgin.

Dear therange.

I must be a sexist pig. If you were a woman I would advise you to wait for the right man.

Because you are a man I might advise you to pay a few dollars to get the experience that you want.

That will make you feel much more confident.

Wouldn't pay, and don't have the money anyway, not even for a cheap street-corner prostitute. Don't work and any money I get from disability goes toward food and clothes.