Confused About This Whole Thing

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Hello, I've just been diagnosed (at 23), after having to leave college because of a really bad bout with OCD. I've spent months now in CBT and therapy and after seeing a Psychiatrist was diagnosed "Very high functioning aspergers". I only know what I'm reading online, and I'm starting to understand what this is all about, but I'm having problems, I don't know what text to read, what things to watch for, as I named this post I'm really confused. I'm male, have a beautiful and loving girlfriend, multiple obsessions about things. I've never had sensory overload before until I quit drinking and smoking (not cigarettes), I'm still in therapy and medicated for OCD and depression after spending months locked in my room because of it. I just don't get this, I was living a pretty OK life before aspergers, maybe it was there the whole time? I don't know how this works. All of a sudden I started to have sensory overload after months of horrifying OCD, including depersonalization, crazy mood shifts, and some crazy neurological responses to things, emotional tags of things switching on me (standing in my yard and feeling like I was in another town I had visited hundreds of miles away).

As you can see, I'm confused, I want my life back.

Can anyone tell me where to start?

I appreciate your time.

Right here. Your story and mine have strong similarities, and here on WP is where I began at 59 just a month ago.

Keeping reading and posting and doing your best to let things settle a bit ...

Do a search for Tony Attwood here and read what others are sharing. I expect one of his "all about us" books to arrive any day now, and I believe it is really going to help.

Welcome!!

Seems to me that after you've quit the drinking and smoking it can take a while for your system to re-stabilize. at least it did for me. This also sounds like what happened to me when I started take Celexa, after about 6 weeks everything seemed normal again.

Be thankful that it is only AS, a doctor could give you much worse news in life (heart disease, cancer etc etc). One of the reasons to be cheerful in life is that you are healthy and OK.



OK here is the better bits of my reading list which I have gone through since working out about a year ago that I have AS.

Tony Attwood (Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome)
Temple Grandin (Thinking in pictures)
Oliver Sacks (The man who mistook his wife for a hat)
Oliver Sacks (An anthropologist on mars)
Temple Grandin (Emergence)
Games People Play
I am OK your OK



Be happy and glad that you have a nice young lady, my advice is to make time to see her and be good to her. Also stay off the drink and no more street drugs for you. However much you might fancy a quick joint or a bottle of wine/a "few" beers do not indulge.



Well it is likely that you were born with AS, so you have never had a life before AS. You did have a life before you knew that you had AS. Try to make the best of your life, you may obtain an insight into yourself which you did not have before you knew about your AS.

Try to talk to your young lady, let her know that you still want to be with her (I assume that you want to be with her) and let her know that you are still the "same" man as before. She does not have to worry that you will grow a second head or get snakes for hair. If she is an educated young lady at college then you might want to pass on a book such as Tony Atwood's book to her.

A few hours and some reading in, things and making a little sense. I'm more frustrated at the fact that I'm dealing with this, I guess the whole "boo hoo I'm so different feeling" haha. I'm very relieved that I'm not losing it (my father is Bipolar 1 Severe). I've been put on 5 mg of Abilify every night before sleep. Started to able to have caffine again. Talk to my friends more and more.

I feel like at this point I'm going to work on a few things at a time. My biggest challenge is trying to undo and move on from the damage OCD has done to my life. I've lost a decent amount of friends and acquaintances. I'm a lot better than I was when I drove home. Its kind of strange, I have something of a "reborn" feeling right now. Kinda odd.

Yes, I do love her very much. When I went de-personal and really lost it months ago she held my hand the whole way through. She's my other half, my soul mate, and I do everything I can to make sure our relationship and lives together are healthy. OCD is horrible, it feels so real, and its made me not want to wake up in the morning, but she was the reason why I got out of bed, got professional help, got a new job, started my life over, and have made it to this point.

Budgenator is right on with the assesment of the alcohol thing. I self medicated with alcohol for years. Besides being a depressant, alcohol also depresses the central nervous system. So while one is drinking, they feel relief from some of their anxiety, OCD or whatever type of issue it is.

However, I highly reccomend that you do not self medicate with alcohol. It's actually a catch-22. It depresses the central nervous system while under the influence, but once you get to be alcohol dependant, it actually raises your anxiety levels. When a problem drinker quits and goes through withdrawl, anxiety shoots sky high (AS or NT). Thats a alcohol withdrawl sympton. It happens to all problem drinkers, with AS it is probably compounded much higher.

So it makes sense your OCD level would go crazy after quitting drinking. I've been there, its not easy. I hope for the best for you.