My only friend doesn't want to be my friend any more

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I've always struggled with making friends, and it's rare that I manage to make one (although I have several aquaintances). However, I did have one friend. Recently she had not wanted to spend any time with me, and when I asked she always said that she didn't have time, but when I looked on facebook she was spending time with others.
I texted her asking if she wanted to be friends or not, and she said she couldn't be what I wanted her to be and so could no longer be friends.
Now I have no friends.

That sucks, that was really disguisting of your friend.

I'll be your friend, Alycat. <3

Ill be your friend...PM me..I might not get back till tomorrow late at night since I have classes, then work right after classes....I am feeling sick with a sore throat and cough, and would like to call in sick from work and go on my computer but I cant even afford to take a sick day off.

Yeah, I had this problem with a life-long friend. Found some "cooler" people at art school, and stopped answering emails and IM's. Found out he was ignoring me for about a year - we were each other's only friends for about 12 years, so he had to be quite a dick to drop it like that, not even telling me what's up.

I find friends do this often to others. I'm glad, in your case, that this person didn't drag you along for years, it would've been a tremendous waist to know she's this kind of person much later. Good riddance, I'd say. Someone capable of that kind of disrespect isn't worth it.

Alycat,

I also have had some degree of difficulty making friends. It's a horrible habit of "let them come to ME and introduce THEMSELVES." How much time did you spend with this friend? It sounds like your friend has other friends she would ALSO like to spend time with, that may not necessarily have the same interests that you have. It also sounds like your friend felt she was spending "too much" time with you, and wants some space. It has NOTHING to do with you. Some friends can spend every waking moment with each other and be happy, and have other friends in common. Other friends may try their best to spend time with different people with similar interests.

I can relate to your situation. You sound like a "one friend at a time" person. You meet one person and spend whatever time you can with that person. Some people are LEGITIMATELY too busy doing other things, and believe me, that's frustrating for me. Your friend might've been put off by your asking if you both are still friends, and perhaps you were being too "needy" for her taste.

Is your friend part of the spectrum? It may help to explain to this friend that you're autistic/have aspergers/ or whatever, and that you weren't picking up her cues that she wanted to be with other friends. Explain that missing cues of this nature is typical of someone that's part of the spectrum, and MAYBE your friend will understand and give you a second chance.

I will be your friend. I have very few to none really. I mostly just talk to myself and my brother. I have most rare degree when it comes to talking to people. I have never made a real friend and only 1 that I have come close to I fear I might of pushed them far away from me.

bdhkhsfgk - Thank you.

sarbear1987 - Thank you. Judging by your sign in name I think we are the same age!

Tory_canuck - Thank you. I will PM you.

vessel - Yes it's good to know sooner rather than later. However, as I initiated the conversation which led to her saying she no longer wanted to be friends, I have to wonder how long things would have continued had I not spoken out.

whewfan - When we first became friends we would spend some time at least three or four days a week together. This then reduced to once every week or two. We used to spend time with another girl as well, but now the two of them spend time together, and with a few other people, but not me. I don't know if I'm a one friend person by design or by necessity. I don't make friends very often, so I usually only have one friend anyway, if that. My friend knows about my probably being on the spectrum, and has known this for quite a long time.

DeadFire87 - Thank you. It is difficult to make friends.

Hi Alycat

I'm another Aspie based in the Birmingham area. I'll be your friend if you're looking for someone local to chat to.

Hey I'm sorry- they are missing out because I am sure your a great person.
One of my best friends told me to leave her the h** alone and never call or text her ever.
So yea things like that hurt bad!

Murasame - Cool! How do you find living in Birmingham?

Josie - I'm not sure about my being a great person. But thank you. I'm sorry your friend told you that, it wasn't exactly a friendly thing to do.

Aww I feel you. My friend doesn't want me around anymore at our school during lunch break. I try to not look envious that he spends time with other friends. Fortunately he spends time with me after school. But my friend is much more patient around his other friends. Makes me wonder what Ive done wrong. The last part was really low though, I can't imagine the pain from that. Ahh the hell with her. If my friend did that I would break ties with him too. I know what it means to be needy. I might even be ALOT more needy than you. I can't help it because I only have one friend.

Hey, I came across your post while trying to find a solution to my own problem. It sounds really bad for me to say this and I suppose I'll get a lot of hate for it, but I'm on the other side of this problem.
I mean, I have a friend that I find really difficult to be around. Hearing your point of view gives me an idea of what it would be like for them if I was honest with them. I think it's really mean what your friend did and I don't want to be that kind of person, but...at the same time, well, I've always found being with this person...really really difficult. Nowadays we live long distance, but they want us to have a really close friendship. I don't know how, and it's always been so forced. I always end up depressed and pressured when I spend time with them or even talk with them. We do understand each other, but I don't think I can ever be the kind of person they want me to be, and the whole thing is so forced, at least for me.

I can't naturally be friends with this kind of person. I don't know why, maybe because they're always analyzing every part of our friendship instead of just being friends (they're very likely aspergers so that might have something to do with it). The thing is, my friend is a good person. Despite a lot of insecurities and neuroses, they're kind, honest and thoughtful.
Truthfully, I've never been the kind of person to let people get close but recently I met people I became real friends with, and it was so natural. With this person, it feels impossible. I feel pressured, threatened and I just want to run away from them, all the time. The thing that stops me is that they don't deserve that, and they've been let down by people so often.
I just wondered if maybe your friend felt some of those things. I've no idea...even if she did, that's no excuse for the way she just dropped you. I thought since you're on the other end of things, maybe you could give me some advice on the best way to handle my situation. My friend wants me to open up more. I did that a few times, but it makes me extremely unhappy. I just can't bare my soul like that. They want to know if I'll ever open up because they don't want to be strung along pointlessly. If that's the case, they'll probably end the friendship. They don't want a shallow friendship and I understand that. But, if I'm honest, I don't think I can ever do the deep one with them. I don't know if any of this makes sense. Sorry for the offloading onto your post! It just sounded like a slightly similar situation. I've no idea if your friend went through the same dilemma.

Hiya Alycat, I feel with you too I know how it feels. And see something good came out of this. New friends offer their friendship to you and you can start to get to know new friends from here

Thank you for the replies.
I'm trying to think positively about it, looking at the fact that now I have no friends I've had more time to do my work. It's difficult to think like this though.
I'm not sure if I want to set myself up to be hurt again. Maybe I should just become a hermit.