I've become such a Cynic.

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I think that my bad experiences in life have caused me to have such a negative view on everything. It's not just with my Aspergers, but other things such as the fact that I'm gay, overweight, and one who's idea of a "good time" is a marathon of playing my favorite video games. These qualities (and I say qualities, not 'bad qualities') I think is the reason why no one likes me, including my own family. And now that I'm 19 and almost a quarter of my life is over, I've been looking back at the memories of all the bad things people have done to me repeatedly, and it's caused me to have this mentality that nothing good will ever come of the people in my life. I don't trust people because I have not one person in my life that I can be personal with, because any time I try to make a "personal friend" out of the new people that come into my life, it never works out. I mean the truth is, I find complete strangers to be nicer then people I know personally, and once I get to know a stranger personally that's when I notice the cruel stuff they do to me.

I remember before I made a topic that I was concerned I might be turning into a sociopath, but now I realize that's not what's happening, what it is, is that I'm starting to believe there's no good in the world, and I'm not trying to say I feel like I have to be bad because everybody else in my life is, but I just no longer feel it's worth the effort to try to be a nice guy when I'm just going to be betrayed, hated, or ignored.

did you think of the possibility you might be depressed ?. you dont have to feel depressed all the time, playing a marathon of your favorite game can make you forget about it for a while and you might think you're not depressed.

I'm starting to believe there's no good in the world

i can see why you believe this i hope you will meet good people someday that will make you step away fromthat belief, they are really out there just extremely rare and worth holding on too.

ehh, cynicism isnt necessarily a bad thing, its when you become overly cynical that it becomes a problem.

You sound similar to me with the I see no good in the world. Its just i might view that fact differently than you do. I just simply feel that humanity is leading a pointless existance. Dunno if you are a "philosophical cynic" but i am certain I am, and it does cause problems, especially when you realize maybe you need to be connected with the so called little ants under "gods" magnifying glass.