They think i am not intelligent enough.

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Hi,

this is a situation that has been happenning to me for a long time. I got a flat facial expression and when i have a meeting with more than one people, i am nervous and i almost say nothing. This has led my research advisor to think that i am something close to a moron who doesn't understand anything.

In fact, today i was talking to a classmate and he said "M told me that you kinda follow your own path, and of course, you only do that when you are smart enough. I dont mean you aren't, i mean, i am not either but...".

So it means that it isn't only that they think i am not smart, but also that they have spread the word. I hate the situation, and i am tired of telling them that i understand what they tell me, even though i am always silent and my face doesn't give them any clue, so at this point the only thing i can do is wait. I know someday they will be telling me they can't believe what i have achieved. I know...

Well, it is part of your job to make it clear to your research advisor that you understand what you are told. If you can't do it by immediate feedback, adopt some other means.

If you've been given instructions, email your advisor afterward detailing what you understood your instructions to be, and ask for any needed clarification.

If you need to show mastery of some piece of knowledge, try doing it in a form you can handle, such as by email or whatever works for you.

Maybe you didn't know it, but a lack of facial expression is an AS trait. I know have to work on that, but while time goes by i am suffering. I tell you, i have explained ithis to them 1000 times.

How is that even relevant to what I said? It is still your job to communicate understanding of what you are told. If you can't do it one way, do it another.

It is relevant, because doing what you say is not that easy, at least for someone with AS. You are saying that i can stop having AS with the click of a mouse.

I have a lot of trouble expressing my ideas and interacting with people. So even if a had the mastery of knowledge, still i have difficulties to show it in a way they can understand it.

But of course. before i go on complaining, i willl buy a book on body language. Also another tittled:

"Communication Issues in Autism and Asperger Syndrome
Do we speak the same language ?"

I hope these books will give me some ideas on how to improve my communication problems.

You know very well I said no such thing. What's with the ridiculous strawman?

I said you should choose some method that works for you to communicate that you understand what you are told.

I'm not buying that you can't do that at all -- you communicated enough mastery of knowledge to become an engineer and acquire a research advisor.

use more words.
you cannot mimmick the unspoken communication of "normals", so use words for it.
tell them "i AM smart." i know such a statement sounds childish, but if you have to you have to...

ive had to do the same thing myself,
even one of my closest best friends has settled with the idea that im a stupid moron, who only knows about dinosaurs and nothing else (i was a dinosaur fanatic when i was little)
last time we talked i told him i am smarter than him, as a fact, and he only replied with some grumbling ;]

I see we speak the same language. It is really hard, sometimes i get angry when i remember the things they tell me, all the time asking me if i understand.

you have to let them know, clearly. dont say "yes, yes i understand", but explain that you are intelligent, that you dont communicate it well because of aspergers, and that you would prefer if they respected your intelligence.
i am pretty sure, and you too probably, that they think theyre being nice to you.
let them know that theyre nicer, by respecting your intelligence.
i dunno what more to suggest.

maybe write it in a little letter, and deliver it personally to your teacher, where you explain it in detail. that way he will see for himself that you are an intelligent person, who just cant put all his feelings into spoken words, like non-aspies can. also add a link to wikipedia's aspergers article ;] making them take 10 minutes to read about it helps a lot.

There was this girl who I was friends with in my university. One day she said:
"I don't know if you're a funny idiot or a genius, I still haven't figured it out"
Made me laugh.

I'm soooo confused.. it looks to me like ZEGH is saying the same thing as HH did.. that since you can't use facial expressions, you need to use another form of communication. How is suggesting e-mail communication saying that you should get over AS with the click of a mouse?

I was gonna say the same before but I just had no energy to butt in, this is a simple case of miscommunication.

Well actually it's hard to me. There are a lot of reasons. My difficulties to pay attention, the way i explain things (the words i choose and the order in which i tell them), my lack of expression, Etc.

When i became an engineer i only had to go to classes and take exams, do homework etc. The professors never had to work with me directly, so this communication problem didn't exist.

In the final project i worked with people to whom i had explained classes, so they would never think i wasn't smart.

I know you're trying to give me advice, but believe me, it is really hard. Every new conversation gives us a new confusion, i take one path and they take another.

One final thing i could do is to talk to them openly about my 'problems', but still i am afraid of what their reaction will be. I'll let you know if things improve in the furture. Thanks,

Geom

Which is exactly why I suggested using written forms of communication more. In order to get where you are, you've had to communicate technical mastery on paper in the past.