Dad almost died

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So, my dad just tried to kill himself tonight. He's fine and all now, well at least physically. It made me think a lot how I interact with him and my family in general, and how much I hate not being able to express to people how I feel about them. I talked to him earlier today and he seemed fine. He was helping me apply for a visa and we were both sharing our frustrations over the whole application process. That was a rare occasion when I connected with someone, even a family member, but what happened tonight made me think that the conversation really wasn't all that special or close, otherwise he wouldn't have done what he did. I know that his depression has more to do with him than it does with me, but it really puts all of my interactions with the people I love into perspective. I think that I'm so wrapped up into the world inside my head that I forget that other people can't look into there and see what I'm thinking.

I'm glad that your father is now safe and physically ok, leschevalsroses. It's understandable that his suicide attempt has made you reflect on your recent conversations with him, but it's important that you don't hold yourself in ANY way responsible for his actions. It doesn't mean that your connection with him wasn't special or close, just that he was feeling very depressed and hopeless. He probably carefully hid his suicidal feelings from you so as not to burden you with them because he loves you and he's your dad. Even loving dads can get overwhelmed by depression- it's not his fault, either.

What's important now is that he gets the best care possible and that you and other family members let him know that he is loved and supported. He's going to need you all over the coming weeks and months. I hope all goes well for him and for you, too. Take care. Jenny

Glad that your dad survived - and I hope you're feeling ok.

Get your dad to read this blog.

http://sinsofsunnyside.blogspot.com/


It's written by a wife with two children whose husband suicided about four months ago. I think it's mostly succeeded in wiping the idea of suicide from my brain - forever. It makes it obvious what a selfish act suicide is and how much it hurts everyone around you.