Annoying person at school

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Hello. I need to tell about something that seriously bothers and scares me. This year i went to Special School. It was fine, because people are there to help you and no one bullies you, but all this "safe school" feeling dropped off when i went to maths one day. the corridor was dark and suddenly some guy with small hands came to me and asked "What's your name?". I go freaked. I got scared, looked down and ignored him. But he kept asking and didn't let me go. Suddenly things started to get weird. He touched me with his hand. I got even more scared and walked away. He followed soon, but some other student came from my class, and the teacher opened the door for us. While i was in the classroom sitting, he kept watching me from the corridor and waved me to go there. My day was ruined. I am very introverted and bad at socializing so i do not bother with talking to other students. I don't even want to. My anxiety level at school is always very high. I am a total freak at school.
So at home i got mad at myself that i am such a pu**y, that i do not have social skills needed to tell someone to f**k off. So i self injured. The next day he was in the bus. When less people was left in the bus, he came sitting next to me and told me something like "You have a beautiful skin". He talks weird and has small hands because he is disabled in some way. I got freaked again. Ignored him totally, but my ears kept hearing what he saied. The he asked me if i was mute. Bus arrived at school and i went off. I started to walk to school, but he came besides me and looked at me and asked some things. Hes voice is bad to hear because of his disaility. I already realised that he must be completely an idiot because he doesn't leave me alone. He wont notice that i am scared and doesn't leave me alone. He even asked me how old i am. I AM SO SCARED!

Until today i thought he had left me alone. Today at school, first lesson ended, went down the stairs and suddenly heard his scary voice around the corner. I had no choice but to let him see me, because i had to go to the next lesson. I walked behind the next class and started to wait the teacher. Then i saw that idiot coming. He was watching me already. Every time i see him i get scared and want to die. Oh.. wait. Mistake. I do not want myself to die, but i also get wery angry because he won't leave me alone. So i fantasize about killing him. But i would never do that. Suddenly he stopped. I small steps away from him. Hoping others to notice that i am scared of him. He told something, but i didn't quite understand because of his voice, but in the end he saied something like "... cant have you". For me it sounded like i am some kind of a sex object that needs to be bumped. I got TOTALLY scared. I started to shake. He went away because my teacher came. In that lesson i made myself two choices: Escape home and self injure or go to my form master and tell her everything. In the end i chose the second "go to my form master". I had mentioned her this stuff before but this day i really needed someone to take care of him. I couldn't take this anymore. I am doing very good at that school and do not want some ret*d idiot to control my school life. When i went to her office i was so scared and out of breath that i couldn't even speak. When i did then i spoke in a shaky voice. She asked what happened. I told her. She told me that they will see what they can do about him. That they will talk to him. After that i got relieved. i did not escape the school but stayed instead. Until i came home.

So i am waiting to see the day until he leaves me alone or otherwise it feels like i would die and start ingnoring the school.

IF someone reads my text. Please answer this question: What would you have done in my situation? or Have you had similar situations in your life?

Last edited by skonamis on 10 Nov 2009, 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'd probably do what I always did in school; disappear, one minute I am there, the next - gone!

Do you know what sort of disability he has? Maybe what he does is part of it. Did you notice to see if he has friends? He may seem to look upon you as making a new friend, who knows.

Telling him "If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to have to do something about it" may have hit home. You never know.

I, myself prefer the person to tell me directly other than going to someone else therefore involving a third party and someone else who knows nothing of it, that doesn't need to. I find that offensive. It's like I am not treated as a human, but as a creature that everyone is scared of

I understand completely your experience. I have a son with Asperger problems, and I know what you are talking about.Also, I´m a teacher so I think that, especialy in the school, there should be always some grownup person present and available o help in such situations.Of course, you are supposed to work on yourself, your social skills, possibility to fight your battles, but some help is always welcome, especialy in situations that make you feel bad and scared, and who knows about Asperger, knows what I´m talking about.
Best of luck, and talk to your teacher! mamamoo

Just tell him you don't want to talk to people and you don't want to be his friend. Maybe he also can't read body language.

The big thing to keep reminding yourself when you think about this is that shock does really, really strange things to people. No one ever really knows how they will behave beforehand next time they are in a state of shock.

So your being too shocked to deal with this guy isn't some unusual failure on your part -- it could happen to anybody, NTs included.

Does your school have any therapists or similar people you can go to for some help? Because the best way to avoid being frozen in the future is to work out scripts on what to do in several similar situations, practice them with someone else, and review them in your mind a lot. If you have some scripts well-stored on things you can do, you have a much better chance of doing *something* and feeling less powerless afterward.

Since he obviously has some kind of disability he probably doesn't know that he's coming across wrong. I don't or didn't know at times when I came across wrong. Just tell him how you feel, to leave you alone that you don't like to talk, or something like that. How would it make you feel if somebody else thought your actions were so scary when you weren't trying to scare them at all? I'm sure he's not trying to scare you, he doesn't sound like a bully, more like just inept at interaction, and that's not his fault.

PaganMom

In the bus he came to sit next to me again. This time it was really strange and more disturbing. He started to talk about getting me. Putting me on a carpet and doing these things. Talked about my skin and body. I never had those kind of situations. I got anxious, scared, frustrated and angry. I never show feelings, but stay stoned and stare in emptyness. Suddenly i got hang of myself and went to sit in other place. I had a change to see him. He was watching me.

As for the "third party" thing: no, i am not trying to make things worse for him. I only need to have help to make him stop. Those people at this school really are understanding and trying to make things good for everyone. This time i went to talk to my form master again. Told her about this bus story. It was weird to tell, but i had to. She told me that she talked to my psychologist about the previous stuff so my psychologist will try to clear these thing for me. They did tell me that i am the one to tell him stop. I guess i need to learn how. I do not want to say something that might make him feel being attacked. I guess i believe that he really might not be this way. That he does not understand what he is doing to me. But i really NEED him to stop. It makes me die in fear to hear him talking to me.

This bus thing was out of hand for me. It really freaked me out. Need to check bus times again and figure out what time it is best to start going to school. So i wont see him. Doesn't matter if i have to be at school a hour earlier.

Sometimes i still wish i was born as a boy so people wont check my looks that much. I am not interested in this man&woman stuff. It freakes me out. I wish i was the most unattractive girl in the world. So i could live with less anxiety. can't change what i am

No you can not change who you are or what gender. But it is what it is you're a girl.
You wanna be a boy like me? I'm much like you, quiet, never bother anyone and do not seek attention and yes, told to be quite attractive. Then I'm labled as a homosexual and picked on by a horde of guys, you want that instead?

I got a gold solver for you, next time step on the buss and smile at him. He will then come sit next to you. Then you muster in the most erotic soft voice you can fabricate "Do you want to feel my skin?", he will of course become very taken off guard and say yes, when he's as most excited you elbow him in the face. If you're lucky and execute your move correctly you might even get a bonus and send his nose bone up his brain and instantly kill him.

Problem solved, happy I could help.

definitely will do that (sarcasm)

I'm so full of love today.

That must have been so terrifying. Are you ok? In your shoes I'd have the shakes for hours. (Oh, and if you do, eating something carb-heavy can help, like a big plate of pasta or something.)



This is absolutely wrong if that is all they are giving you to work with. It is time to get your parents involved.

At a minimum, what the school needs to provide right now is:

1. A sentence, word for word, along the lines of "Please leave me alone and don't talk to me or come near me again."

2. A promise that saying that sentence to the boy once is all you ever need to do.

3. They need to tell the boy the sentence and tell him that if any girl says this sentence, he must stay away from her and not talk to her. If he continues, the school needs to take care of it.

Ask your parents to demand 1&2. All you should ever have to do is clearly state the above message once. After that, if he comes near you, don't try to talk to him or deal with him -- run straight to the authorities in your school.





So do a large percentage of women on the planet, NTs included. It's pretty miserable.

They told me that if they told him to stop then he might not listen, and wont stop. But if i did... Well, if a miracle happens and i'd tell him(i don't think i can, because even to think of it makes me confused and scared) to stop then he also might not listen to me and keep doing this. I am quite sure that this guy is mentally ret*d, because they are protecting him at some degree.
I'd like the see this school having a bigger picture of this. They should know that if that person will go work and living in real life then he might become dangerous to other people like me. After this bus thing i do not think that he doesn't know what he is doing. It is quite disturbing and sick. But you never know..

I am afraid what others might think if they see me in bus with that guy or at school. What if he lies to the school and tells that he hasn't done anything that i am making this up. I do not know if a mentally ret*d person is capable of this. But never know again..
These are all my paranoid thoughts i guess

By the way, i skipped school today.

You do need to tell the boy once to stay away from you and not talk to you. You can say it from a distance, you can write it in a note, you can do it pretty much any way, but you only need to do it once. I soooooo completely understand that if you're too terrified to get the words out when he comes up to you. Can you ask someone else to go with you to find him and stand by you when you say the words and then help you get away?

After that, if he continues, either because he doesn't understand or because he understands but doesn't care what you want, it is no longer your job to handle the situation. Once you have told him one time, it is absolutely the job of the school and his parents to make him understand and make him behave. The school is completely in the wrong if they say you have to tell him more than once. After that it is their job, not yours.

My heart aches for you and the terror you're going through. Please keep us updated. Is there anything we can do from thousands of miles away?

If the school is doing nothing about it, then you need to tell him straight up to stop. If he doesn't stop, beat the living s**t outta him. The school probably doesn't give a f**k if they're doing nothing about it.

The school is doing something about it. At least they told me that they are. They told it with seriousness. So we'll see.

Practice this line and say it to him next time he's bothering you "What you're doing is sexual harrassment and if you don't leave me alone you could not only be charged with it, but if you so much as put a finger on me I'll kick you so hard youll have to blow your nose to see your balls."

Say it like you mean it too.

PaganMom