Feeling overwhelmed: does anyone know somebody to talk to?

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I wish I knew of a support group or psychotherapist to talk to. Due to an extreme sensitivity to criticism, though, I'd prefer a therapist, counselor, social worker, shaman, or anyone related. It is hard to fully describe what's going on with me, and I'm too embarrassed to go in too great of detail about it on the world wide web.
Currently, in addition to worrying about my own future, I'm also deeply worried about some people I care for that are having problems.
In my own life, I'm worried about whether I'll ever fulfill one of my biggest dreams of marrying and having children. I'm 26 years old and haven't even been in a relationship before. I feel that I'm under a love curse. (I hope that I won't scare some guys away with this statement.) To make matters worse, the bad advice and constant criticisms I get about not wearing make up or dressing fashionably make me feel so much more irritated and humiliated. (Make up is so uncomfortable to wear!)
On top of that, I'm not even sure what career path I want to travel. I'm thinking of writing a book, but I'm scared s*@@less about publishing it, because it's very revealing of the emotional depth I have behind me that resulted from past trauma. Also, because the book has some obscene scenes. And for the 2nd part of the book, I don't even know if I have the knowledge, or if I can obtain enough knowledge to make it good.
Also, I have a friend that isn't physically healthy, and is in tremendous physical pain at the moment, even though the condition is only supposed to be temporary and not dangerous. I haven't heard from him or the person he's always with for a while. In the past, when I hadn't heard from them, it was either because they were busy with something really good, or something really bad. A week ago, they told me that they'd meet up with me this week, at around this time, but I haven't even heard from them. They haven't e-mailed me like they said they'd do a week ago. So when I tried phoning them, they didn't return my phone call. I have a bad feeling about this. My intuition is often right. However, it could also be that I'm turning into a worry wart like my parents, and that I have OCD. The way empathy works with me is very strange. It almost seems like I fluctuate from one extreme to the other. I can go from barely feeling anything in one circumstance, to having a rough time getting worries out of the back of my head.
Even though I outwardly appear strong to others, I think that I'm going crazy in my head. I always think of the possible worst thing that could happen, and I often have pessimistic thoughts. I try to think optimistically, and to think of good things, but I can barely control my thoughts anymore. I even try meditating, and it helps a little, but not completely. I'm also afraid of my bad thoughts causing bad things to happen, and always think of an optimistic alternative for every bad thought. Sometimes I drive myself to tears, and sometimes I wonder if I just like to torture myself. I used to be a happy kid. Now, I hope I'm not going to get to the point of needing psychiatric medication.
There are also other things going on, but the issues mentioned are the ones that have been in the back of my mind the most. Anyway, does anyone know of a good therapist or counselor that's Aspie friendly and knowledgable of the mild female version, and, at the same time, doesn't overdue the process of only viewing people as labels? At the very least, does anyone know of a good counselor or support group in Orange County, or near Orange County? At the moment I prefer a good low or no cost person or group because I don't have good insurance, and I don't work a lot of hours. However, if any of you know a good place or person to go to that's expensive, mention them anyway. If I get a 2nd job, or more hours, I can consider going to them.

I wish I could offer advice.. one thing I can say is that you have plenty of time to find someone.. many women I know are only just settling down in their early 30s.

Hello there,

I'm sorry about the pain you're going through. Many of the things you're trying strike a chord with me. The thing about extremes is something that I hadn't quite noticed until a very good NT friend pointed it out - apparently, everything is either a 1 or a 10 for me, and I haven't noticed the rest of the sliding scale. A totally aspie thing, apparently.

She did say that I should start by discovering 5, and then work on 3 and 7. Unfortunately, I can't remember how one discovers 5 if one is blind to it, and she's currently busy, so I shouldn't really call her. If anyone here can remember any tips on this, please do say. I'd be very grateful.

As for dressing, I think it's a very individual thing. My husband died recently, and I am apparently infamous for my extreme disinterest in appearances and quite sloppy dressing when not in "professional" mode.

I stayed with friend A, who is basically stunning, extremely interested in fashion and has married a millionaire because of her looks. She spent some time essentially "sexing me up", with tight clothes and hair care. She'd have done more with make up and what have you, but she could see that it was not going in my disinterested head.

Then I spent some time with friend B, who is very traditional and faithful to her upbringing, and wears long skirts, never showing off her legs. Essentially, the opposite of friend A. And she pointed out that in the more academic circles and talks we were frequenting, sex bomb looks were not really appropriate.

So if I dressed according to whatever look either friend would have nominated, it would have looked out of place in the other friend's habitat. So I've noted the good and bad practical points of each look, and made up my own compromise, using some of their tips.

I still don't use make up, but I try to keep my hair neater, so hopefully have a less demented look.

Thank you for your support guys. I appreciate it. It felt good to vent. At the moment, I'm in a phase of feeling better.
Come to think of it, I wonder if the autism specialist in the area would also to psychotherapy in addition to diagnosing. Perhaps I can phone and ask him more information on that. Also, I wonder if I should consider seeing the accupuncturist that my friend's seeing.

I find it interesting hearing these sort of things from the girl's perspective. I was raised in a house full of boys with my mom being the only close female in my life.

But enough about that, me I have never dug women that turned themselves into barbie dolls. Wasn't natural, I'd rather have the woman be who she is. I won't say she can't dress up, of course if she wants to she can, but I like that natural beauty that comes from just them being women in good health and in shape. Thats my opinion on that, as for career path, ugh GG me (IE still stuck in the muck). I am kinda a recluse still with family at this point. The only thing I can do at this point is be there for my friends when they need me for whatever it could be, emotional support or just someone to talk to.