Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

Julia_the_Great
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 292
Location: New England

12 Jan 2010, 3:55 am

I jusst feel like I have no control over the situation and no way to help.

About a month ago, my friend's parents disrupted her adoption (in other words, her adoptive parents put her into foster care). She lives several states away, and I have only been able to contact her via Facebook. She keeps talking about bad things going on in her life, and not specifying about what's going on, but that worries me.

Also, because I have Russian parents, she keeps after me about Russian culture, Russian life, stuff like that. I think that it's because her biological parents are (or were) Russian, and she feels some sort of attachment to them. Because she has been in about eight foster homes and families, she is just desperate for a loving family. When I met her, her friends were more of a family to her than her parents.

I just don't know how to not feel pain because I can;t do anything for her.


_________________
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Dalai Lama


leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

12 Jan 2010, 5:18 am

Julia_the_Great wrote:
She keeps talking about bad things going on in her life ...


Are you able to talk with her about how she handles those things?

Julia_the_Great wrote:
Because she has been in about eight foster homes and families, she is just desperate for a loving family. When I met her, her friends were more of a family to her than her parents.

I just don't know how to not feel pain because I can;t do anything for her.


You are not responsible for fixing your friend's life. You can cry for her and you can cry with her and you can just continue to be one of her friends she knows as family.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,452
Location: East China Sea

12 Jan 2010, 12:46 pm

I think all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. Perhaps even give her a call (facebook can be a bit too public) and explain how worried you are.

If she doesn't want to talk about it still, maybe you could support her in other ways (helping her understand Russian culture if that's what she's interested in, unless you don't want to talk about it yourself).