Worried for my friend
I jusst feel like I have no control over the situation and no way to help.
About a month ago, my friend's parents disrupted her adoption (in other words, her adoptive parents put her into foster care). She lives several states away, and I have only been able to contact her via Facebook. She keeps talking about bad things going on in her life, and not specifying about what's going on, but that worries me.
Also, because I have Russian parents, she keeps after me about Russian culture, Russian life, stuff like that. I think that it's because her biological parents are (or were) Russian, and she feels some sort of attachment to them. Because she has been in about eight foster homes and families, she is just desperate for a loving family. When I met her, her friends were more of a family to her than her parents.
I just don't know how to not feel pain because I can;t do anything for her.
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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
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leejosepho
Veteran

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
Are you able to talk with her about how she handles those things?
I just don't know how to not feel pain because I can;t do anything for her.
You are not responsible for fixing your friend's life. You can cry for her and you can cry with her and you can just continue to be one of her friends she knows as family.
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I think all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. Perhaps even give her a call (facebook can be a bit too public) and explain how worried you are.
If she doesn't want to talk about it still, maybe you could support her in other ways (helping her understand Russian culture if that's what she's interested in, unless you don't want to talk about it yourself).
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