Another car-meltdown with my ASish friend

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I openly have 2 partners....one of whom I refer to as my ASish friend.

I cannot be out with him in public if there is a car involved without there being some form of fray.

I do not drive..He has a license....I have not held a "normal" job in years...he has had the same full-time job for years..

We have a band together, and we were invited to play a show tonight. The show happened just as well as we could muster...We both drank approximately the same, but while I hardly feel tipsy, he started getting irate right after the show.

I spent all day feeling nervous...dreading this very thing....

First he got irate at god for making it rain....;ok..that's fine...then I rapped on the window as we were loading out, just to indicate to him that my door was locked...

this caused him to drop the car key and start yelling at me ...He keeps making these blind accusations at me...I am afraid to ride with him....Yay! Another car-related meltdown!.....The key turns up on my side of the car...neither of us knew that...we were both looking on his side of the car...another mark against me... ...i am calmly-as-I -can trying to deal with his irate-ness...he has yelled at me to calm down...any noise that comes out of my mouth is a further excuse for him to yell at me....He even accuses me of saying stuff when I have not said anything at all...

My friend has not been in many relationships...I am his 4th, and he is 36....

His longest was with an assumably NT who he dated for "years" back in his hometown...

I am curious as to whether he was just as short with his old girlfriend as with me, or if I am really THAT difficult to deal with...

I have a hard time imagining how ANYone could have been in a relationship with him for "years"...with him getting that mad at them so easily for every tiny thing...granted we have been dating for a year and a half, and for all the years before that when we were just friends, he never got visibly angry at me once.

I literally cannot say ANYthing when I am in the car with him, but if I neglect to mention certain things, I can get yelled at for that too.

It is not as though I can't relate...I have had car-meltdowns with other people...so I do understand.....I am just very harrowed at the moment...

I have to get a drivers' license so that I never have to be a passenger in a car with him ever again.

At least I have the motivation to do so....

why does he get irate with car issues? sorry I am just not seeing the WHY in this issue.

I am not completely sure why either. I just know that pretty much any time it has been just the two of us with a car...bad things have happened....He will become angry, and start driving carelessly and angrily, and it will be all my fault. One time, for example, we were on an errand and swung by his house only to realize that he forgot his keys....Everything went downhill from there....At one point he came very close to just veering wildly into oncoming traffic because he was offended by something I said to him in the process of trying to calm him down.

He is as close as can be to a non-driver while still actually having a license. A bicycle is his main source of transportation, he does not own a car and he only uses his company's delivery van for work...
When he drives outside of work, he drives my car (which I technically own, but is driven by Flakey)

One thing could be that forgets to eat, and then becomes irate when he does not eat...and then he drinks a lot....

anyway, I am over it now..I am used to it now...

Car meltdowns..

Yes, these are not fun. I can still drive, but things are not pleasant and I'm sure my one friend from about a decade ago didn't like some of mine. Mostly mine were caused by getting overwhelmed by complicated road paths and not knowing where I am. He must have thought I'm insane.

Sometimes if I wake up and not feel hungry and get too busy, I'll forget to eat and if I drive somewhere I may get overwhelmed more easily. Recently I noticed that I may become less competent if I get too hungry without realizing it, so I'll stop to eat something and feel better before things get out of hand.

He becomes completely irrational and takes it out on me.

He was still mad at me this morning when he left...

This was a short L-shaped drive of just several blocks.

He really has some issues with me...

As detrmined as I have been to stick by him, I am not gonna let him ruin my mood another time....when I didn't do anything wrong.

I am just gonna not call him for a while.