Hey. I know the feeling. We love you here. Let it out, have a good cry, and a nice warm bubblebath. And chocolate, plenty of it. We love you here. I personally hate seeing you hurt Spacecase. You've given me heaps of support, and I suspect you've given it to others as well, and I only hope that we can give the same back to you.
You have every right to hate the mother f***er who did this to you. In a way, he killed a bit of you, and you want that bit back. The "experience" (that sounded horrendous, I'm sorry) changed you, not for the better, but for the worse, and having AS just makes things 50 billion times more extreme. But remember, we're here, and we love you just the way you are. And I'm sure your girlfriend does to. Ok?
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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.
Henry David Thoureau, 1854