Limitations

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Sometimes I really hate having Asperger's... life would be so much easier. I'm just tired of all the limitations is places on me! I'm tired of watching everyone else my age progress, getting a degree, job, etc.. I'm tired of this stupid co-morbid anxiety that causes most of my problems.

I can't go on fast rides (like at an amusement park) because it causes my anxiety levels to go through the roof. It feels like I can't breathe, am dying, etc.

When I tried to use the climbing wall I got 3/4 of th way to the top and just froze... I couldn't open/close my hands, so I had to pry myself free and then couldn't hold on to the next grip because my fingers wouldn't close...

The major issue is that i can't finish university because the anxiety is too much. I have tried medication, relaxation, exercise, CBT, etc and while some of it has helped temporarily, it always comes back. When I'm in the midst of a panic attack I feel as if Im going to vomit, I start crying uncontrollably and my mind is in complte chaos. The only thing that makes it go away is to get rid of the thing causing it. I have had to defer my exams several times because the anxiety was too much.

I feel sad that I can't do the things I want to do because of this - I wanted to be a doctor, but because of my anxiety issues this would not be a good idea, so then I wanted to be a scientist, and now that's not going to happen because i can't get my degree. It's a shame because I know I have the intelligence to do it but the anxiety keeps stopping me.

Does anyone else ever feel anxiety that they can't control? Or maybe I am just lazy and can't get rid of it because i don't try hard enough. I don't know... I just feel lost - having a goal to work towards in some ways kept me grounded and focused on something... now that's gone i don't know what to do

It's getting to the point where I am afraid to get my hopes up about anything because it will probably all end in disaster.

I have limited myself a lot because of my anxiety. Sometimes, it feels like it is taking over my life. But you can't let that happen. You are in charge of your life. You need to make sure you know that. Try positive affirmations.

"I am in control of my emotions"
"I am much stronger than these feelings"
"I will succeed in what I want to succeed in."

Say them out loud regularly. Try writing them on sticky notes and stick them around where you will always see them. Then, when you feel more in control, try different ways to relieve it when it comes again.

That's how I plan to do it, anyway.

You are very capable of curbing this to a managable level so you can do the things you want to.