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Teacher Made me Feel Really Bad.

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Elementary_Physics
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30 Jan 2010, 7:58 pm

When I have a teacher who I like and respect, I make a painting for them, something that they can hang in their class, something relevant to the class they teach.
Last year I did a painting for my acting teacher Mr. K - He inspired me a bit to be more optimistic, ya know, and to be a bit more upbeat. He truly was inspiring, and I did like his class.
I recalled that at the beginning of his classes he would talk about something called "Fire Providing" - Which just meant that students should positive.
I spend hours and hours, and money for the canvas, to do a painting that related to "Fire Providing" - When I gave it to him, he loved it and thanked me. He even hugged me and showed the class!
I was rather happy with myself for doing something nice.

Well, its been about a year later. A student of his, who was taking a class with him for the first time, told my sister that Mr. K showed the class the painting.
It thought "Oh, good!", But according to the student, Mr. K had said "Yeah, some weird chick gave me that painting" and then said "I wasn't sure if she gave it to me or not."
This filled me with so much sadness. I cried for about an hour when I got home - It was one of the biggest insult I have ever received.
I put so much time (hours and hours), and a bit of money into it - Because I loved his class and respected him. He even hugged me and said "Thank you" when I gave it to him. Why would he do this? I feel like such a jerk.



csimon
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30 Jan 2010, 8:04 pm

Well unless you heard it from him, I wouldn't be so sure that he even said it. Don't hold it against him just because someone else said that she said that he said what he might or might not have said.



Lene
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30 Jan 2010, 9:52 pm

csimon wrote:
Well unless you heard it from him, I wouldn't be so sure that he even said it. Don't hold it against him just because someone else said that she said that he said what he might or might not have said.


I would agree with this. Second-hand information is very inreliable.

Even if he had said it, try not to feel too hurt (though I am sure you do). It is simply because he wishes to look 'cool' towards his current year. It's cowardly as sh*t and you have every right to be mad at him, but just don't think that he really didn't like your picture because in truth he was probably flattered.

I'm not trying make light of what you feel; I've had similar experiences. Once, when I was on a team, one of our sponsors made a really sexist and degrading remark abut me to my boyfriend (he didn't realise we were a couple) and I found out. My boyfriend reckons that he was just trying to fit in and be one of the 'lads', but that did not make me feel better at all!

Basically, what I am saying is hate this guys guts if you want; if he did say those things, he deserves it! But don't let his comments influence your own sense of self worth.



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30 Jan 2010, 10:19 pm

Elementary_Physics wrote:
But according to the student, Mr. K had said "Yeah, some weird chick gave me that painting" and then said "I wasn't sure if she gave it to me or not."


This sounds fishy to me. Don't waste time believing it. Someone is just trying to make you feel bad. Remember how Mr. K reacted when you gave him the painting -- that was real. Anything you just hear about like this is very likely false.



leejosepho
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30 Jan 2010, 11:05 pm

Elementary_Physics wrote:
... about a year later. A student of his, who was taking a class with him for the first time, told my sister that Mr. K showed the class the painting ...


Congratulations, it was still there and he was showing it to others a year later!

My younger daughters tells the story about giving a teacher a picture she had made and the teacher acting all excited ... and my daughter felt just as thrilled until she saw her picture in the teacher's trash can just a few minutes later.


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Iloverussia
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02 Feb 2010, 1:46 am

Elementary_Physics wrote:
When I have a teacher who I like and respect, I make a painting for them, something that they can hang in their class, something relevant to the class they teach.
Last year I did a painting for my acting teacher Mr. K - He inspired me a bit to be more optimistic, ya know, and to be a bit more upbeat. He truly was inspiring, and I did like his class.
I recalled that at the beginning of his classes he would talk about something called "Fire Providing" - Which just meant that students should positive.
I spend hours and hours, and money for the canvas, to do a painting that related to "Fire Providing" - When I gave it to him, he loved it and thanked me. He even hugged me and showed the class!
I was rather happy with myself for doing something nice.

Well, its been about a year later. A student of his, who was taking a class with him for the first time, told my sister that Mr. K showed the class the painting.
It thought "Oh, good!", But according to the student, Mr. K had said "Yeah, some weird chick gave me that painting" and then said "I wasn't sure if she gave it to me or not."
This filled me with so much sadness. I cried for about an hour when I got home - It was one of the biggest insult I have ever received.
I put so much time (hours and hours), and a bit of money into it - Because I loved his class and respected him. He even hugged me and said "Thank you" when I gave it to him. Why would he do this? I feel like such a jerk.


Doesn't matter if it is true or not. You went out of your way for this person with an act of kindness! Be happy that you did something nice....even if they are tools about it. Karma will repay you



valkyrieraven88
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02 Feb 2010, 11:34 pm

I had friends who would tell me cruel things other people said about me that I couldn't verify. It is possible that...

1. Your friend knew you had made the painting and for some reason wanted to hurt you; in other words it was a complete fabrication.

2. Your friend misinterpreted the statements and, whether intentionally or not, made an innocent statement sound like an insult.

3. The teacher really did say it--but even if this is true it doesn't mean he's a jerk. My friends affectionately refer to me as weird sometimes. He might even have meant to use it as an example, that maybe you weren't popular or you thought you were weird but you were a success story and therefore the painting was special to him...you just don't know.



MJackson
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02 Feb 2010, 11:43 pm

Yea, don't feel too bad about this, it could be worse. the teacher is still showing people which is a plus. Just imagine if you had racist teachers who tried to get you in trouble all the time and provoke you, that would be worse. but i do understand how you feel, and he did say it, he probably did, but don;'t worry too much about it. I've had teachers say worse things to me in my face and they didn't even like me



spooky13
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05 Feb 2010, 7:24 pm

I agree with the others. The only other thing that may or may not help is to ask him yourself about what he said.


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06 Feb 2010, 12:04 am

Elementary_Physics wrote:
When I have a teacher who I like and respect, I make a painting for them, something that they can hang in their class, something relevant to the class they teach.
Last year I did a painting for my acting teacher Mr. K - He inspired me a bit to be more optimistic, ya know, and to be a bit more upbeat. He truly was inspiring, and I did like his class.
I recalled that at the beginning of his classes he would talk about something called "Fire Providing" - Which just meant that students should positive.
I spend hours and hours, and money for the canvas, to do a painting that related to "Fire Providing" - When I gave it to him, he loved it and thanked me. He even hugged me and showed the class!
I was rather happy with myself for doing something nice.

Well, its been about a year later. A student of his, who was taking a class with him for the first time, told my sister that Mr. K showed the class the painting.
It thought "Oh, good!", But according to the student, Mr. K had said "Yeah, some weird chick gave me that painting" and then said "I wasn't sure if she gave it to me or not."
This filled me with so much sadness. I cried for about an hour when I got home - It was one of the biggest insult I have ever received.
I put so much time (hours and hours), and a bit of money into it - Because I loved his class and respected him. He even hugged me and said "Thank you" when I gave it to him. Why would he do this? I feel like such a jerk.


I'm inclined to believe that the teacher did not actually say those things. From what you described of the teacher it sounds like he's a good, kind person, who really did appreciate you and your gift.

Remember, that other student was talking to your sister. In my experience, a lot of kids/teens assume that people like to hurt their own siblings, so maybe this person thought it would be funny to say something that might be hurtful to you, in order to win your sister's approval. That's just a guess, based on things I've experienced. I could be wrong, of course.

If I were in your position, particularly at your age, I would not have been able to muster up the courage to ask the teacher directly, and risk being hurt or exposing my own hurt feelings. But if he's the kind of person who earned your respect and was able to inspire you in class, then it might be worth taking that risk to find out.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you, though. I've been in similar situations and I know it hurts.



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06 Feb 2010, 12:46 am

Second hand stories can never be trusted. They could be exaggerated, misinterpreted, or entirely untrue. Pay it no mind.


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07 Feb 2010, 5:20 pm

I can't imagine a teacher that sounds so kind and wonderful saying something like that..I would be willing to say he did not say anything like that.



hale_bopp
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07 Feb 2010, 6:45 pm

sounds like an arse. I would confront the teacher.



M_p_furo
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07 Feb 2010, 8:59 pm

Elementary_Physics wrote:
But according to the student, Mr. K had said "Yeah, some weird chick gave me that painting" and then said "I wasn't sure if she gave it to me or not."


I would be very skeptical regarding the validity of this student's statement.

If he actually felt that way about you and your painting....calling you a "weird chick".....why would he keep it? You would think if he felt that way, he would have tossed it long ago. I would think since kept he your painting, that would indicate that he values it and you.

Maybe that student is jealous?