Dammit! I Don't Even Know Why I bothered!

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For 19 years I have wondered what was wrong with my mind, and when I finally have a chance to figure it out, my chance gets blown out of the water by some chick who couldn't slow down during a really bad storm. Her car slammed into the back of the car I was in, and eight frigging months later I have pain shooting through my whole body. At first it started as arm and hand pain, and sometimes in my legs. Then it escalated big time when the pain moved into my back and hips. I tried to ignore it and hoped that it would go away and tried to continue with my classes. It got worse, I dropped my B average, and I had to withdraw from the second semester because the pain had become too much. By that time I was depressed, my OCD was getting out of hand, and I had to start taking antidepressants. The side effects of the pills made me worse mentally and I could barely read my books and retain the information. I restarted my classes this semester, and I told myself that I could do it. I could get past this. My memory is almost gone to the point that it takes two seconds or less for me to forget where I'm going, thoughts, etc.. The exams are killing my arms and my knees. Every single day I'm in pain and I keep dropping weight because fixing myself something to eat is too painful or I forget to eat. If I wasn't still living with my parents I would be screwed because my mom reminds me to eat something or helps me pour things. And all the crap I went through for my classes was for nothing. The term paper for my class that I just turned in is a piece of crap because all I could do was keep repeating myself. I couldn't hold a thought long enough to write something coherent. As a writer this hurts me a lot because I've never written anything that horrible before. And then today I found out I had misread the due date for the exam for the class I was already doing poorly in, and I know it brought my grade down even more. Even better news, this wonderful pain I'm in could be fibromyalgia which there isn't a cure for. That means this could last for the rest of my life. And here I go crying again.

You did what you did as, from what I can gather, you were clearly determined to. However, I'm sorry to hear that you could have fibromyalgia. I know it is incurable but are there any treatments that you are aware of that could reduce the pain that you go through with this illness?

There's always time for better things to happen.

I hope things improve with you!