thinking bad things

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I have been completely overwhelmed for the past year. There have been a lot of major stresses in my life. I won't bore anyone with details, but they are MAJOR huge stresses including injuries, family suicides, emergency surgeries, bankruptcy, getting then losing a promotion at work, having my workplace change from someplace that was safe for me to someplace where I have sensory overload and panic attacks all day, and having to stop going to therapy because very simply I have zero money.

I'm so tired. I feel so hopeless.

Every day is torture.

Last Saturday at work I broke down so bad. I took a major overdose of my anxiety meds, right there at work. I just couldn't take it anymore. I blacked out fast. Faster than I could even realize what was happening to me.

My ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend somehow found out, and she sent him to take me home from work. I have no memory of any of this. I was mostly unconscious for the next two days.

Nobody at work knows I tried to kill myself. But my job is in jeopardy because they know I was on *something* that night, so bad that I had to leave and not come back for two days.

My girlfriend doesn't know I was trying to kill myself. I have let her believe it was an accident.

I have hurt myself. I have thought of ways to make myself deaf. I think about dying all the time. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Because I keep overloading and breaking down. Life never lightens up. I keep thinking I'll try it again.

I don't know what to do or where to go. I can't live like this anymore.

I am in Salt Lake City, if anybody knows any local resources that can help me. I need help.

Sorry, can't help, but I'm living something similar, especially for the job part, and moreover I just wanted to congratulate for your signature

I've been in your position, you aren't alone. Try this link:
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/utah-su ... lines.html

There's some other links on there as well. Good luck to you.

Here's a list of hotlines in Utah:

http://suicidehotlines.com/utah.html

Around here, we have a drop-in crisis center and they also have a mobile unit to come out to your house. Do you have anything like that?

Are you in counseling? If not, can you call and tell them it's an emergency and you need to see someone right away? If you feel like you might hurt yourself again, get to an ER. They calm and they know what to do.

I think in a situation like this, Druidsbird, you must tell your boss/owner about your Asperger's and your current mental difficulties. Perhaps you could request a temporary leave of absence for medical reasons, or maybe you could be referred to a counselor/psychologist that is available through your place of employment. If your job is in jeopardy than you have to at least give them some details; you don't have to say you tried to commit suicide, but you can say you accidentally took too much medication because you were under extreme pressure and didn't think it would have adverse effects on you.