She left me because I wont convert to christianity...

Post Reply New Topic

I am feeling incredibly depressed because the person I love not only broke up with me but cut off all contact with me because I am an athiest, I have told her that I am completly fine with christianity and that it teaches a lot of hreat values but I just don't believe it. But she broke up with me because she thinks god wants her to find somebody to be with that is a christian. And then asked to just become a christian because she wants me to feel gods love. And I just explaing to her that I do not believe in god and now it is over . I don't know what to think anymore. I am accepting of christianity why can't she be accepting of my views! I hate myself so much right now...

I'm sorry to hear that. As a christian myself, I can only say that she was a jerk for breaking up for such inconsequential things. Plus, she's ignoring God's own commandment to "Love thy neighbor as thyself"...

I'm sorry that this happened to you. But I won't sit here and mislead you either. In my experience, I would advise that you should expect a lot of this with dating Christians. Most religious people are like this, some are even more hard line with who you are and aren't allowed to date/marry. Don't pretend to be something you are not, and keep on looking, you will find someone who is more compatible with you in time. Good luck.

Xenu, [] happens, and if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be
don't listen to [] or nutcases, take the time to reflect then get back out there
things like this happen and is a useful tool to teach you

There's no reason to hate yourself. If she insists on that position, then it's not to be. I know this is no help but you're young and you'll meet a lot of women, some of whom will be more compatible with your views. (I met my first GF on an atheist dating site.)

Quite frankly, if I like a woman but then find out she's that deep into christianity, my interest wanes considerably.

Don't do anything rash. You're entitled to mope for a bit. But then move on.

The thing is back about a year ago we were perfect. She just converted to christianity not more than 6 months ago which is why it hurts so bad. Because she used to accepting and all. Now she refuses to even listen any music other than christian. I love her she has just changed I still thought everything would stay fine but I guess not.

A relationship without sex or sexual activity is a friendship. You essentially lost a judgmental, hypocritical christian friend. You're 16, concentrate on school, you'll meet women that aren't nuts.

There is little worse than those who foist there beliefs upon others.
It is quite probable that your relationship with someone so inflexible would be likely to fail anyway.

Maybe she should date Tim Tex.

No, seriously, I'm sorry. It probably wasn't love but being heartbroken is hell. What you need to do is fill as much of your spare time up with other things.

Ty to those trying to help. Idk i guess I just am not in much a responsive mood.

I'm sorry it's painful. Obviously she has a number of characteristics that you admire and it would be wonderful if she were more willing to see you with the understanding you have for her.

I know a couple where one is an atheist and the other is a christian. They have a long lasting and good relationship. Where there is real understanding and good will, I don't see that the differences in beliefs are a huge problem. But if she has decided that a set of 2000+ year old rules is more relevant than you then I don't know that you can trust her to understand you.

I think many people with strong religious faith do not understand what the word atheist means. It is not a rejection of a god or a religion but simply the lack of belief in the god or religion. I have never understood why someone would think an atheist could convert to Christianity without indisputable proof of the existence of a god. And I wouldn't have much respect for a person who would pretend to have such a different view of reality just to keep love.

To be honest, I find the demand that you convert rather manipulative and I feel that, however painful it is, it is important to hold on to the truth. It takes courage and strength and you seem to have plenty of it.

And none of that makes this any easier for you. I can't offer advice on how to fix the problem. I can only say from having been there myself, is that over time the pain will ease and things will look better in a while. The important thing in relationships is mutual trust and understanding. A different set of beliefs can weather anything if there is a willingness to learn and accept on BOTH sides.

Good luck,

Lars

A similar thing happened to me (on a smaller scale). I thought I was on friendly terms with a 7th-day Advantist girl I had a crush on. When she found out I was a member of Secular Society (a club that promotes separation of church & state), she rolled her eyes and accused us (the club) of being discriminatory atheists. When the quarter was over she refused to associate with me (so I stopped pursuing her). She may have had other reasons too, but I think my being an atheist was a factor.

I would say don't worry because there are girls out there more tolerant of differences, but the heart rarely operates in conjunction with reason. If I extrapolate the discomfort of my experience to your broken relationship, you must be in deep pain, so I sympathize.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself" does not mean "mate with your neighbor for life". There are different kinds of love.

I don't consider myself as belonging to a specific religion, but I'm not an atheist either.

I do believe Christianity is quite specific about finding a mate who believes in God. There, I found the quote:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

So it's no surprise. It's her choice, nothing you can do about it.

Try to not get down on yourself about it. You're the logical one, believing in reality/science, while she's believing in imaginary beings. It's sad that you broke up, but not your fault. How would you feel if someone dumped you for not believing in Santa Claus? Same thing, IMO.

I agree with what the others have said, you should not hate yourself. If a person can not respect you (and your viewpoint is part of you), their loss. Yes this hurts and you have to give yourself time to feel that and then try to move on.

About this girl wanting you to convert when you have no belief in that kind of thing, that sounds silly to me. Also though, this rigid attitude would not be good in a relationship long term. Perhaps, when you feel better, you can look for a more mentally mature girl with a less rigid attitude.

sorry to hear about t hat. but it proves that you were not suited for each other. i think in an aspie relationship beliefs are important. besides you have the satisfaction of knowing that you are more logical than her. try looking for richard dawkins enthusiasts.