slightly offended by something an uncle said

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Catster29
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13 Feb 2010, 10:22 pm

I was talking to my uncle a few days ago and I told him about how my tigger (cat) knocked my comp-uter screeen off my desk cuasing everything to short circuit and me to get a new computer. He said he would have "taken Tigger to the nearest creek for that", I replied that would be over the top. I was angry with tigger at the time and shouted at him but have since forgiven him. Perhaps my uncle didnt really mean it. He has threatened to "euthanaise" my cat (another one) before but has never actually done anything to any of my animals.



Last edited by Catster29 on 19 Feb 2010, 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Claradoon
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13 Feb 2010, 11:47 pm

Does your uncle ever actually do mean things to animals? If not, then I think he didn't mean anything by it. It's like my sister-in-law said to my brother (her husband) "Do that one more time and you're sleeping in the tent." She doesn't mean it. Maybe your uncle didn't mean it either.



MorbidMiss
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13 Feb 2010, 11:51 pm

I threaten to hit my D.H. with a cast iron skillet all the time. I wouldn't actually... his mother broke a couple on his head, I don't want to have to buy a new one.

:wink:



Moony
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14 Feb 2010, 1:44 am

Some people... are like that. Depends how they were brought up to see animals. When my dad left for college, his parents took his collie, and shot it because they didn't want to care for it until he came back.

...Yeah, some bad stuff happened on my dad's side.


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Lene
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14 Feb 2010, 5:30 am

He was joking!! !

You shouldn't feel offended or upset; he's not really going to do anything like that. He was just trying to emphathise how pissed off you must feel having your computer broken, that's all. He wasn't seriously advocating tossing the cat into a river.

There's a difference between serious threats and jokes; jokes tend to be more 'inventive'' and over the top e.g. "I'll string you up", as opposed to the straigh forward "I'm going to beat you", unless you have reason to believe otherwise.

Also, why would he really be that upset? It's your cat and your computer that was broken, not his, so he's not going to really care enough to be angry, to be perfectly honest.



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14 Feb 2010, 7:38 am

He was joking but it was not very funny. One of my uncles doesnt like rabbits, but I have a pet rabbit who I love very much and he used to joke that the black/white line on her back would make it easier for the butcher. I used to cry and he thought it was funny. Needless to say I no longer speak to said uncle...

BTW the rabbit is 7 tomorrow! YAAAY!! !


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Claradoon
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14 Feb 2010, 8:32 am

Could you ask your uncle what he meant?
If he meant it, you'd know, and if he didn't, then he'll know how not to hurt your feelings.



Catster29
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19 Feb 2010, 10:33 pm

well i could ask him but I have had a lot of issues with him recently so it is probably better not to i just try to make the point how much he means to me.



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20 Feb 2010, 9:32 am

I 'apologize for your uncle's strange sense of humour. A joke is only a joke, if it's funny to both people. If it's only funny to one person, it's not really a joke. I've been offended by family members, many times. It's not fun. I hope that things get better for you.


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barbedlotus
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22 Feb 2010, 12:38 am

I know it doesn't seem to usually help in my case (well it does in that I at least felt like I stood up for myself) but when someone makes jokes like that about my animals (which is a lot unfortunately) I usually tell them I don't fnd that the least bit funny and to never say something like that around me again. I suck at wording it though, but I'm sure worded right he'll catch on that those kind of jokes hurt you, especially if he cares about you.



Catster29
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05 Mar 2010, 11:42 pm

i get upset when people make out like it is us who are the ones in the wrong or that the other person was "joking" etc we have a right to be offended and I was. I was also upset with my mum telling me to "let it go" that he was "joking" because i was there she wasnt. I know my uncle would not have done what he said but it was insensitive all the same. i felt hurt also coz i thought thngs were getting better that he understood more and then he says that



matrixluver
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06 Mar 2010, 2:39 am

but we can't choose our family. As long as he isn't actually abusive to animals, try not to dwell on it too much.



DavidM
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06 Mar 2010, 4:46 am

Generally not a good sign when someone 'jokes' about your pets dying.



Catster29
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06 Mar 2010, 5:34 am

DavidM wrote:
Generally not a good sign when someone 'jokes' about your pets dying.


no i agree like i said i dont think he was joking but i dont think he meant it either like a previous poster says he was kinda saying that i must be pissed off with Tigger for making me buy a new computer.



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06 Mar 2010, 7:21 am

I have an uncle who can't see a larger animal without mentioning how he would have it cooked. It's a running joke. He's a funny man.


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06 Mar 2010, 11:38 pm

Its kinda like when someone says, "Im gonna kill/shoot you" . . . a threatening statement of anger, but nothing more because if they went through with it, well . . . their future would be screwed (for lack of a better word). Some people are like that. They state their anger rather than act on it . . . course inserting a bit of sarcasm is also common. So, naturally, this kind of thing would confuse some of us in the spectrum.