Anyone here know how to get rid of unwanted fantasies?

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Peko
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27 Feb 2010, 12:46 am

I stated my question in the subject title: "...how to get rid of unwanted fantasies?"

I'll keep it short/attempt being mild but short story is I've been having unwanted fantasies (all bothering me as in I find them disturbing) since I received a very uncomfortable email w/ a "offer to help me"/threesome offer... its been over a month now & its still bothering me. :(

p.s. I've posted about this b4 in another forum (if for some reason you find my explanation here to vague to grasp). Also, my apologies if its too blunt for the haven. (I'm trying to learn tact so I don't end up like my g-mom. If you've read my posts b4 you'll probably know what I mean...)


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Shadwell
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27 Feb 2010, 1:20 am

We'll if its sexual fantasies maybe you should just let them exorcise them through masturbation, and don't worry to much about it.



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27 Feb 2010, 2:04 am

A Jungian analyst told me to say, "I don't have to listen to you" to the fantasy - it worked, the first time. And the second. Eventually it stayed gone.

The other trick might be to have something ready to think about instead - a good moment for perseverating. You could think of the ocean, or imagine tying your shoe, or imagine a landscape, or puppies, etc.

And this is something that really does work for stopping hiccups, maybe it would help in your situation as well: look up and think of your mother.

I hope you find some peace of mind.



Nostromos
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27 Feb 2010, 2:35 am

Do you know these people? have a tough friend of yours go with you as security, and go for it. When else are you going to have a chance to have a threesome, huh? You might regret not pursuing it.



Peko
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27 Feb 2010, 9:34 am

Nostromos wrote:
Do you know these people? have a tough friend of yours go with you as security, and go for it. When else are you going to have a chance to have a threesome, huh? You might regret not pursuing it.


Uhh, I DON"T WANT A THREESOME! It was an unexpected offer I did not expect nor desire in any shape or form... the images disturb me. (It was an ex friend & his ex who brought it up).


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CaptainTrips222
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01 Mar 2010, 10:10 pm

Peko wrote:
Nostromos wrote:
Do you know these people? have a tough friend of yours go with you as security, and go for it. When else are you going to have a chance to have a threesome, huh? You might regret not pursuing it.


Uhh, I DON"T WANT A THREESOME! It was an unexpected offer I did not expect nor desire in any shape or form... the images disturb me. (It was an ex friend & his ex who brought it up).


That guy thought he was being funny I guess. Yeah I know, ha ha.

Um, I've never been in a situation where I had unwanted fantasies, but you can try and substitute them with something less offensive. Most of the time in these cases, the people actually enjoy their fantasies, but they feel guilty about them. You just want it to go away, i see. The best advice I've read here is to tell it to go away, and alienate it as something not part of you. I dunno what the hell to tell you otherwise. Good luck.



SilentScream
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02 Mar 2010, 4:23 am

The fact that it was an ex friend and his ex sounds like a surefire recipe for disaster.
You don't particularly like him(as he's an ex) and he doesn't particularly like her(as she's an ex).

It's not the best way to ensure a good experience, trying to be intimate with a girl you don't particularly like, let alone two people who have all that negative history!

Have you tried substituting your fantasy for one that is one you find acceptable?



pensieve
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02 Mar 2010, 4:37 am

Do you think you have these unwanted fantasies because you didn't reply?
If someone asked me if I wanted a threesome I'd say 'puh I'm not that desperate' or something along those lines. Fact is, when I don't reply to people I keep thinking about the e-mail.

I think the best approach would to be handling them like anxious thoughts. I did a lot of things like keeping myself busy, shaking the thoughts from my mind, pinch myself or do cognitive behavioral therapy. Go to emofree.com and learn about acupressure and it really helps your mind go blank.

Otherwise when I had sexual thoughts (more than usual) I went to a church.


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Peko
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02 Mar 2010, 11:05 pm

SilentScream wrote:
The fact that it was an ex friend and his ex sounds like a surefire recipe for disaster.
You don't particularly like him(as he's an ex) and he doesn't particularly like her(as she's an ex).

It's not the best way to ensure a good experience, trying to be intimate with a girl you don't particularly like, let alone two people who have all that negative history!

Have you tried substituting your fantasy for one that is one you find acceptable?


He's her (my friend's ex-boyfriend & became my ex-friend after this). I'm still fine w/ the girl. I have ended up w/ substitute fantasies (w/ a person who doesn't creep me out). Problem is my fantasies are auditory (mostly) & somewhat tactile. It doesn't "feel good" to me physically.


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All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


CockneyRebel
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03 Mar 2010, 1:05 am

I got rid of an unwanted fantasy, by quitting my job. I had fantasies about shooting my supervisor. I felt bad about having those fantasies. I haven't that those fantasies, since 6, this evening.


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Nostromos
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04 Mar 2010, 2:03 am

I only encouraged you because we fantasize about things if they do something for us. You said "fantasize," not "vaguely consider" or "traumatically recall." Yet you're disgusted by these fantasies, even though they cannot exist without your conscious energy. Maybe they keep you from being bored. You should decline their offer then see what happens. You're probably better off, they may be diseased.



Peko
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20 Mar 2010, 8:29 pm

Nostromos wrote:
I only encouraged you because we fantasize about things if they do something for us. You said "fantasize," not "vaguely consider" or "traumatically recall." Yet you're disgusted by these fantasies, even though they cannot exist without your conscious energy. Maybe they keep you from being bored. You should decline their offer then see what happens. You're probably better off, they may be diseased.


I call them "fantasies" f=rather than saying I "traumatically recall" b/c nothing physically happened to me w/ them. I did decline due to DISGUST! I know you use mental energy to fantasize, but do you know what having an unwanted song or thought pop into your head is like? Its the same thing in a way.


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Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.