The children are crazy happy about today (Easter). On a side note, I have something called asmatic broncitics (I can't spell for crap, sorry). And it just happens to be viral so all the antibiotics did nothing for it. I have these coughing fits that leave me out of breath and needing to hit my inhailer. In short I feel like crap and can hardly do anything. To make this better, I have big time anxiointy problems. So when I begin to have a panic attack, I have a asmatic attack as well. Yeah me..... Today has been one of those stressful days for me. My mother (mom and dad live with us) started out my day by being pissed at me because I fell asleep on the couch early in the morning. I don't know what exactly she wanted. I really don't. When I asked she said it was because I didn't care about the day and the kids happiness. What a load of crap!! !! Aparently she got this idea because early in the week when she had asked me if I had all the stuff ready, I told her my husband was taking care of things. This I said to placate her do to the fact that I wasn't clear at that point if we even had the money to get all the Easter bunny stuff. Not much to be done about that. Anyway I had helped with all the Easter stuff on Saturday. I helped with the eggs (a complete nightmare with a two year old), and when the children went to bed my husband and I put candy in the eggs and the baskets, set it up so all looks pretty. But today, I haven't been able to breath and have been just falling asleep, for no apearant reason. I believe this is because I'm stressed. I've been a nervous wreck since my psychology appt. It went well but I didn't tell him the full scope of my brand of crazy.... Back to today. I believe that I'm fallin out because of stress and pain. This in my house gets rewarded with being yelled at and told that I don't care about today, the children's happiness, and that I'm just being lazy and selfish. I hate today. I thought that I was doing good with all that was going on with me, but appearently that is not the case. I don't think my husband feels the way my parents do, but I feel wanton, and needing more suport from him. My mom once told me that because I hurt physically or have mental issues all the time that she just gets tirred of hearing it. So she just doesn't pay it any mind. Nice. I guess I must just be a whinner. Gods today sucks. As far as my parents are concerened I can't do anything right. Hubby says I'm being too senstive, and they just want the kids to have a good, a day where their mother is not passed out on the couch. When I try to tell them its on purpose, they don't liston.... bah!
04 Apr 2010, 6:03 pm
