My life is a gosh darn mess

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Lately I got so depress about my self because of my well being in school

Today I just got depress about myself because I felt I was off tracks (being chatty overall)

I go to my Pastrol manager to talk about it, she said that I didn't need to worry about it.

Then it HIT me

She mention about my school report and saying how perfect it is, she asks me if I showed it to my parents yet, I said no

Why you may ask?

Cause I'm always scared to show it to my parents, my dad mostly, he nevers look at the good thing on my report such as how my teachers find me a pleasure to teach, the only thing he cares about my grades, he never says anything postive about it, he always makes comments about how good I'm doing in a sacristed way.

When I showed him today things listed above me happended, he doesn't follow 5a 6b 4c system instead he follows the A*, A, B system, so he tells me that I'm doing no good despite I serval lv 5 work but he doesn't care about it, to his head I only have one A, that's the bit when I start dying inside, he makes fun of me so bad that I trapped myself inside my bedroom. So derpress that I just wished I lived in my fanasty world, which I talk about later, my mom tells me that he's taking my phone away later on cause I'm not "working" hard enough which kills me beyond help from family

Sorry for making no sense, and thanks might write more later on

Some statements that I used to wake my
parents up were "I can't do it!!" and
"Its too HARD!!".

I was either stubborn enough to get their
attention or they woke up.

Although my parents haven't placed as much pressure on me as yours have on you in terms of grades, I still desire to please my parents and long for their praise. I've failed classes before, and sure my parents expressed their disappointment with me and I felt awful and guilty about it. But you know what, life kept pushing on and I just took the classes again, passed them, and now talk about my failures has blown over because I'm doing better now. Sounds like you're doing very well, and it's ok to be proud of yourself for your achievements, even if your father does not recognize them. You'll progress at your own pace .

Have you tried talking to your dad about how it makes you feel?

Sorry for the long post, but yeah umm everything work out in the end, I told my dad to keep believing in me, had to play the good ol suck up to him tactic.

Thank you guys for the help, I don't try, but I will keep these in mind.

Thank you once again, you guys are a real helper