Should I just not talk about my Aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

I work in a college cafeteria. Today, I mentioned my Aspergers to a new friend at work when we were talking about autism. As I was talking, some guys at the table next to ours who I think may have overheard me started staring and laughing and whispering. I think they may have been talking about me, but I'm not sure and it's bothering me. Also, one of my friends made some remark that people with autism are wired like animals. She said that she'd read some article that said something like that. I was so annoyed and wanted to say more than I did, but I just said that everyone was different and that not everyone who has autism is going to be like the woman she'd read about in the article and explained that most people with Aspergers have average to high IQ levels.

I always feel like people look at me like I'm not as intelligent as them after I tell then that I have Aspergers and it really annoys me and I worry about it a long time after I tell them. At the same time, I don't want to stop telling people that I have it, because to me it's natural for me to have it and I don't think I should hide it. What do you guys think?

To be honest, you should probably keep it to yourself and close friends/family, especially if disclosing your diagnosis makes you feel self-conscious.

People are mean. Your "friend" must not be very bright. Although my first reaction to the statement she made re: animals was that, well, yes autistics are wired like animals because PEOPLE ARE animals. But my guess is she meant wired like WILD animals. She sounds like one of those people who believes anything if it's in print (or "type"). They just think anything written is 100% true and do not think things through.

One time at a former job I mentioned my husband was Autistic (Asperger's). This was before I knew I had it- although I had suspected it for a long time. I got the most insane reactions:
-How are you able to be in a relationship?
-Isn't sex a problem (can't believe they went there)
-Isn't it weird, because I'm sure you are his "1st" since I'm sure he couldn't possibly have had other GFs before you.

I told them he wasn't Rain Man or Forrest Gump. And in fact he had MANY GFs before me. I said, not that it was any of their beesax, but sex with my husband was certainly not a problem and that I wouldn't discuss it further. I then mentioned I had a lot of symptoms. Well, I wasn't popular before I mentioned this and after I was picked on more. I didn't care, I had a couple friends there and they were nice to me. The others could kiss my *bleep* as far as I was concerned. I guess maybe it's because I don't make emotional connections to people easily, but I really have never had an issue with people disliking me- it's when they bother me and go out of their way to annoy me that pisses me off or hurts me. Unfortunately a lot of NT people LIKE to bother those they dislike. I don't really get it, but apparently they enjoy the drama of it or something. Which seems totally bizarre to me. If you don't like me that's fine, then leave me alone.

I say forget these people. I am someone who feels those with ASD and such need to speak out and be honest because others stil have BS ideas such as your friend. If we just "pretend to be normal" and are quiet and do not stick up for ourselves then others will continue to think of Autistics and people with Aspergers as "Jojo the idiot circus boy". So keep fighting the good fight

Laughing and whispering doesn't mean anything. They might as well have been talking about something else. And why would you care about what some randomer thinks anyway? And I think your friend has been reading about Temple Grandin, and she isn't exactly a ret*d.

"Temple Grandin (born August 29, 1947) is a Doctor of Animal Science and professor at Colorado State University, bestselling author, and consultant to the livestock industry in animal behavior. As a person with high-functioning autism, Grandin is also widely noted for her work in autism advocacy and is the inventor of the hug machine designed to calm hypersensitive persons."

From teh Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin

I don't think your friend meant to say you're a moron. I just think you reminded her of the article which had obviously interested her.

Lighten up, I think the problem exists only in your mind.

^This.^

Thank you for the wikipedia entry. It was interesting. Had my friend explained this differently instead of simply saying people with autism are wired like animals (not that they experience similar feelings to those of the animals), I would not have been annoyed. As far as the boys go, in my experience, the combination of staring, laughing, and whispering usually mean that someone is making fun of you. As were the only other people around, I'd venture they weren't staring, whispering, and laughing at a spot on the wall. But perhaps you are right and I shouldn't jump to conclusions about that.

People will explain things wrong all the time. Maybe it'd be a lot easier for you to assume that, when they say something (seemingly) negative considering autism, they don't mean to attack you, and they don't mean to say every autistic person is the same, or that YOU SPECIFICALLY are like that as well. Maybe you make it personal too soon. And then still, if you're curious whether they are, you could ask them why they think that (without biting their head off, so in a natural, interested way).

And yes, you shouldn't jump to conclusions, in fact, you shouldn't even wonder if they are indeed laughing at you. Some stranger's opinion is worth s**t. I understand that you care about what the people who are dear to you think, but strangers at the cafeteria? They're not worth your time or trouble.

I dont talk about mine, just as I dont tell pell people, my age,weight, income, relationship status, ect

Perhaps that's easy for you, but it's not for me. For me that's easier said than done. People give you the "sticks and stones" bit your whole life, but it's hard for some people to feel that way when it's happening (or you believe it's happening). My experiences with people being mean to me overtly have worn down my resolve too much in that matter, I believe.

Personally I never talk about it and only 2 people outside my immediate family even know about. One thing i'd never do is mention it at work. That would probably end up as a huge disaster.

Normally I wouldn't talk about it either, but these were people I'd known for years and worked with for years and hung out with for years. I generally don't have a reason to talk about it, but we'd been talking about autism and I thought it would be safe to disclose.

About my diagnosis, I said it to people in school and was teased and people considered me dumb because I told them. They considered me dumb even though they were asking for and getting complicated, useful advice up to seconds before I told them, suddenly my opinion wasn't worth anything much to them.

Now I tell people only when I think they're intelligent enough to realise I'm still me and not a sterotype.