Sleep. My kingdom for it

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It's not that I DON'T sleep, exactly. Just that I can't get right down into it. I feel like I'm at work all night, compiling code and configuring servers. Not in real life - in my head. I'm lying in my bed, but in my head I'm working.

I don't like taking drugs because I am almost an alcoholic and I've had drug problems in the past. But I am so extremely exhausted all the time, I can't think of any other answer but to go to the doctor and get something to help me sleep. Just so that I can have a rest. And so that my partner can have a rest too!

I take my work too seriously and I am too sensitive, which causes me unnecessary anxiety. I know that and I want to change it. But how can I be more sensible and sort myself out, when I am so tired?

I don't really know what the point is of writing this post. Except maybe to start a discussion about sleep and related problems and how you all cope with it .. I suppose it is an interesting topic to me right now.

I'm a bad sleeper myself, but one thing I find works is forcing myself to get up early the next day and not taking any naps during the day, just going to bed earlier. It takes discipline though.

Alcohol really messes up your sleep pattern, so you should avoid it a few hours before you sleep.

Have you tried meditation? It is good last thing at night to settle the mind down for rest. Also, you can notice when you are coding in your mind and push it aside, to re-habituate the mind. It's okay to do in the day, just not when you want to rest.

A few years ago, I had such a bad case of insomnia that I broke down crying in the doctor's office. I even had a sleep study and everything (and -- surprise! -- I didn't sleep during it).

These days, I get some restless nights, but the insomnia is not a problem. I haven't slept well most of this week because I had a really bad nightmare on Tuesday. But when that happens, I tell myself it's not a big deal and I know that I'll be fine.

The amazing thing about insomnia is that the *worries* about how little sleep you are getting makes the insomnia a lot worse. So it's a bad cycle. Google cognitive behavioral treatment for insomnia. Basically, you need to put yourself on a sleep diet where you never, ever sleep in. Go to bed and get up at the same time every single day, even weekends.

The other thing I recommend is DO NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK! Ever. Turn it around so you can't see it. Don't let yourself sneak glances at it. It only causes more anxiety.

I also like white noise, like a fan, and a blindfold.

Also watch caffeine intake.

Lastly, have you thought of trying a weighted blanket? Supposed to help a lot of people. I have one on order but it hasn't arrived yet.

I fail at sleep too. For the last year I'm not sure I've ever managed to sleep before 2am, and I usually go to bed a few hours before that. The one period where my sleep patterns were healthy for a while was when I came back from a trip and had jetlag. It was great - getting up in time for work was effortless, so I could start and finish earlier and have more time to relax in the evenings, and I felt a little more productive in general. It wasn't long before my internal clock broke again, though.

I know what you mean about continuing to work long after your head hits the pillow. It's a hard habit to break because some of my best ideas have come to me at that time, and part of me feels like I need that time to collect my thoughts and process the day's experiences.

Anyway, to add a bit to what Athenacapella listed, here are a few little things that I feel help me:

- Keep temperatures cool as you can. Hot nights are almost always nearly sleepless nights for me, while cold nights are much, much more comfortable.
- If you're restless, I've been told to try flexing each of your body's muscles in turn as you lie in bed. Start with the feet and slowly work your way up, then relax. Apparently that helps some people a lot, though I'm not sure it ever did me.
- Exercise during the day should help a bit. An hour long walk around the lake near where I live always seems to do me some good, and not just with sleep.
- Avoid caffeine before 5pm at the latest, if you can. If you're weak, like me, currently finishing a mug of coffee as I type this at nearly 9pm, this might be tough.

I can see how not looking at the clock would help too, but I find that one really hard to resist. If I don't look at the clock, I can't keep track of how much sleep I'm losing and attempt to somehow make it up later

My sleep habits are all over the map. I sleep really well some nights, and than there are nights, that I hardly sleep at all.

...It is SO!~ hard for me
And , having no TV , no computer , no CD player ...

Thanks everyone. I actually ended up taking what some would say is the easy way out - I went to the doctor and got medication ... I wanted some benzos but he took one look at my record of drug and alcohol issues and said no (time to opt of of the medical records database, perhaps?). He did give me something though, called Mirtazipine. It's marketed more as an antidepressant (which he suggested I could do with anyway - probably right) but a bit of research showed me that it has been quite reliably shown to improve sleep quality and length.

I have been taking it for five days and I have found it extremely good so far. In fact I feel very much more on top of things and able to cope with my life. I even spoke to my boss today about when I would be getting more pay, which I could not even have imagined doing last week. The anti-depressant effects don't kick in for a few weeks so as I feel better already I think it is just simply the fact that I am sleeping better.

My anxiety is still there when I'm asleep, and expresses itself as very anxious dreams, e.g. one where I was in prison and couldn't get in touch with my boyfriend who was waiting for me at some airport or other, and one where I thought I'd developed alcohol-induced amnesia and forgotten 6 months of my life. But I don't mind because finally my brain is having enough down-time for my subconscious to do its job.

@Moog, I have tried meditating at various times in my life and I have always found it to have excellent effects. Recently I've found it very hard to sit down and meditate. But you are absolutely right and it's something I'm hoping to get back into.