My Horrible Temper

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I Absolutely hate it because it has caused me to say and think horrible things. I just lose control of myself and I go into a rage. Surprisingly I haven't done anything to physically harm another person, but I have attacked others through typing while online, probably because they can't see me, and I say horrible things. But today, I really crossed a line and I said some horrible things and even though I apologized for my horribly angry outburst, I still feel absolutely terrible about it.

I actually feel so bad, I want to die and whither away somewhere that no one can find my remains because I am so ashamed. I hope the person I upset can forgive me and I need help with this anger problem of mine but don't know where I should go to get that help.

I do also have one question and I am really not sure where I should post this exactly. Is it possible to have meltdowns that are entirely internal?

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I most certainly did do something wrong and I don't know how to stop feeling so horrible.

I hate it too because I feel my inability to have normal conversations with my parents (my dad would always provoke me into horrible meltdowns since he can't relate to an aspie kid properly) has been responsible for the sh***y quality of my life. My parents don't trust me for s**t and they have horrible habits of doing decisions that just ruin the quality of my life. They also never run them by me and just add to my feeling of worthlessness. I want to treat my parents better, but the years of crap between me and them, makes it hard. I'm a very private and personal person, I like my alone time, it is when I can function best. If I'm with my dad, I'm just going to go meltdown mode and yeah, he ruined my life.

Is it feasible to walk away and address the situation when you can do so in a controlled manner?

I did do that and I apologized for what I said. But in other situations, walking away and addressing the situation in a controlled manner later on is impossible.

I did do that and I apologized for what I said. But in other situations, walking away and addressing the situation in a controlled manner later on is impossible.

I accidentally posted twice. Can a moderator please delete the extra?

Sweet Pea hugs

I've got a bad temper, too... which I attribute to being of Celtic ancestry. The best thing I can suggest to the OP is finding and getting anger management therapy. It does help.