Finding the energy and the will to go on
Lately I've just been losing both the energy and the will to continue on maintaining all the factors in my life. Being an acceptable degree of normal (a.k.a. not completely socially rude of inappropriate) is exhausting and draining. I think I've been sinking into depression also, and trying to fight the depression, plus maintain normality facade, plus deal with all my uni work, creative commitments, and social commitments is just getting to be too much.
I keep finding myself wondering if any of it is worth all the effort. I wonder if I'd be better off just giving up, which is not like me.
When you're down, when you're struggling to survive, how do you best manage to find the will/energy to go on? What works for you, what motivates you, what can you turn to? I need advice cause I'm not managing to figure it out on my own.
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Into the dark...
I remember a recent post from you talking about all the things you are managing in your life. It was more than I could ever hope to handle. I think maybe you're going into shutdown from overload. Maybe you should allow yourself this downtime to regenerate and do what you can with your thought processes to avoid slipping into a depression. I mean negative thinking, etc. Tell people you want to retreat for a while.
Perhaps focusing on what interests YOU instead of being preoccupied with what is expected of you might help?
Reducing social contacts to the bare minimum, and not allowing yourself to feel guilty because of it might help as well - you have the right to spend your own time the way it suits YOU. You're not obliged to anything really, apart from what is needed for survival. Everything else is only a consequence of your choices - perhaps it's time to regain control over things that are energy depriving/overwhelming/not suitable any more.
Relax and enjoy in whatever it is that makes you happy.
Last edited by Booyakasha on 02 May 2010, 9:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
Every few months I need to cut certain things (that drain me) completely out of my life to recharge, we all do. Separating myself is the only way I've found that helps me bounce back; pushing through, attempting to keep up an NTish lifestyle only puts me into deeper depressed stages.
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