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I'm new to this group. New to a lot of things.

The short of it is that my son was diagnosed at four with Autism. He's seven now and still not talking. My husband has asperger's. In addition, I have a daughter who had brain damage from birth trauma who is now 19. I also have an 18 year old who is developmentally normal, but suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. (which by itself can suck the life out of anyone around them) She just had a baby. I'm trying to reach out and find some support outside of the school system, etc. because I'm beginning to lose my grip.

I usually handle this better, but today I'm worn out. I'm depressed, and I just want to cry and sleep. I'm having one of the worst days I've had in a while coping with all of this. I just feels so sad for my son sometimes. He just gets so frustrated not being able to communicate what he wants. And I want so bad to hear his voice. So bad to hear "mom".

What I never read about when everyone is blowing sunshine up my butt about this stuff and telling me how promising everything is supposed to be is the anger. A better word would be RAGE. Rage that this is happening. That no one seems to know why or how to fix it. Why can't anyone be honest about that? Is anyone else MAD?

Oh, I wish I could give you a long hug so that you could cry and rage as much as you like!

Your son may someday talk -- I've known autistic kids who have started talking only once they are 10 or 14 -- but of course he may also never talk. It is unfair to be expected to keep believing that things will turn out all Disney-rainbow-like when it's obvious that if things are going to turn out OK, the definition of OK will have to change.

You need support for yourself. You seem to be struggling with what is sometimes called Caregiver Syndrome. This is when you have to try to 'be there' for all these people who have their diagnosed problems, to try your level best to understand them and support them, while there is nobody there to support you.

Regarding your son, I would suggest that you get in touch with Carly Fleischmann, a non-vocal autistic teenager who first started communicating verbally via a computer about three years ago (she still does not talk, but she writes as well as anyone of that age). She can provide a great deal of insight into your son's frustration -- not that you need any more 'lessons' about all this stuff, but I think that it may just give you a sense of closeness to him. You can follow her or ask her questions at http://twitter.com/carlysvoice

Please write again.

*virtual hug*

vent here as much as you need to.

Welcome to WP!