I feel like a boring person...

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I just don't feel fun to be around. I'm serious, too industrious, not witty or funny (unless I get lucky and something pops in my head) and in many ways too polite or nondescript. I don't mesh well in conversations, and tend to recede into the background. I never feel successful enough in my life, and I'm quiet because I know I can't think of anything to say fast enough, so if somebody insults me or goofs on me, I look like an idiot when I can't come up with something. End of rant.

Why would you want to be interesting to someone who cares about nonsense, superficial conversations and makes fun of you?
They want you to be less polite?
That's odd, usually people find others too rude, I never heard of anyone being too polite.

I think sometimes with Aspies the charm isn't apparent at first, but slowly unravels itself with time. Part of the reason for this is we may be very mistrustful and guarded as well as have bad self confidence. Also you can be as passionate as someone, but it feels difficult to demonstrate that passion at times or it only comes out in the right context. We are supposed to not have empathy but it feels like a lot of NT's are less tolerant of eccentric behavior or are quick to judge you a moron. Some, NT's want you to walk in line because they themselves are painfully ordinary. Example, giving you dirty looks for participating in class when everybody is silent in response to a teacher's question or getting angry when you broach a taboo subject.

I've suspected the same thing of people. On a few occasions, I thought I sensed some underlying jealousy, maybe like they felt inadequate. If you ask me to articulate my reasoning, it's only a hunch. But it seemed like hostility and insecurity at the same time, like "I'll show you..."

Thanks for the response by the way. You wanna know what brought all this on? Here, read this and never feel like a dolt again (not saying you do to begin with.) I watched Chronicles of Narnia on DVD, then listened to the commentary, and I couldn't believe how funny those kids were- barely into their teens and they were sharper than I'll probably ever be. Heck, the little girl had to be like eight or nine. Just raggin' on each other and joking as easy as breathing. I laughed but felt stupid and slow. It just got to me somehow.

Oh I feel like a dolt all the time and that people think of me that way. Ideally I'd like to not give a s**t what people think unless it's truly pertinent. Way easier said than done. I'd like to post something from Henry Miller's Tropic of Capricorn but its kind of long so I may not do it today. I heard, Jerry Seinfeld said that his kids are the funniest people he knows.

Last edited by Shadwell on 23 Feb 2010, 2:19 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I do, but then I am a boring person.

I think I understand. I feel like I'm boring sometimes. Especially when I compare myself to my sister who is the life and soul of the party and can talk to anyone. How come she is like that and I am like me?

I think that it just takes longer to get to know a quiet person. They can have amazing qualities, but it just takes time for those to shine through.

You are only boring if you are interested in things that other people don't care about.

If two people are interested in the same thing whether it is football or chess or collecting Barbie dolls or train spotting then they will find the other person interesting.

So find people who share your interests.

"All things, all objects animate or inanimate that are different, are veined with ineradicable traits. What is me is ineradicable, because it is different. This is a sky scraper, as I said, but it is different from the usual skyscraper a l'americaine. In this skyscraper there are no elevators, no seventy-third-story windows to jump from. If you get tired of climbing you are s**t out of luck. There is no slot directory in the main lobby. If you are searching for someone you will have to search. If you want a drink you will have to go out and get it; there are no cigar stores, and no telephone booths. All the other skyscrapers contain what you want! This one contains nothing but what I want, what I like,"

From Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller

Sometimes opposite qualities balance out too.

I do to. But as long as you stick to what interests you, you will be interesting. Don't do what I do and give everything up. That IS boring.

i learned long ago that what im passionate about (cars, computers, electricity, physics) others couldnt give a crap about and most dont have a clue what im talking about.. i only concern myself with people that are going to judge me based on that.. if an nt want to be that petty than they probably werent a good person to associate with from the beginning

nt's are a funny breed

I feel the exact same way. I'm pretty boring. And childish.

I often feel this way.

I think part of it stems from the fact that I have a tough time understanding humor. I can be funny, but you have to have a nerdy sense of humor.

The other part is that I feel like any socializing has to have a purpose. I don't want to shoot the breeze about the weather or something stupid. Talking must accomplish a mission or there's no point.

I feel that way, when I'm in a room, with my NT female peers. I sit there with oldies playing in my head.