I freak out sometimes. I hope I am still a nice person

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Nice people are strong people. I want to say this to everyone.
I haven't been exactly myself for a while in some ways due to OCD pure o and stuff like that, which hasn't turned me into a bad person or anything but I do not like this condition. I hate OCD, and it's very painful.

I would like to help other people on wp but I really haven't felt good with what I have been dealing with mentally and I think I need some help.

I need to help myself feel safe and secure before I can move on to helping others more frequently.

I probably have nothing to say sorry about but I should share my help and motivation for happiness with other people on wp. I must fulfil my signature. I typed this signature with the hope of doing what I say I should be doing, but I have been ill.

Thank you everyone who has taken time out to listen to me, and responded to some of my posts.

We all freak out sometimes. I think you're a very cool person.

You're a great person. Don't worry about it.

Thank you very much Tim_Tex.
I think you are a very cool person as well.

It's good to be nice, and being nice is a healthy, strong sign of character in people.

Thank you very much as well CockneyRebel.
You are a great person as well.

Perhaps I should create a goal to help a few people out during each day.

You know, there are some very cool Tibetan practices that keep the niceness alive and growing, even when one needs to withdraw and take care of oneself for a while (which is very healthy, IMHO)

Like rejoicing in others good qualities... that's one I've been doing. In one of my magazines there are some young writer submissions and most of them have very kind, beautiful, compassionate qualities. So I can sit and just rejoice in them... it's really a very uplifting practice.

Even going to the grocery store, I can notice that someone has parked their basket to the side so others can easily go around... that's thoughtful, and I can rejoice in their good qualities.

Maybe others will think it stupid and lame, but it helps me stay positive, see kindness & consideration where before I didn't notice it, and stay engaged with others without having to actually interact.

Which is good when I'm feeling very averse to humans, like I am these days.

Thank you for the help DonkeyBuster.

One way to combat OCD Pure o will be through meditation and closeness to nature.

Sometimes you help without knowing it. You may smile at a stranger or say something encouraging that keeps them from going home and committing suicide. You will never know what you did and how it saved their life. Everyone has their moments or even their weeks/months/years of less than perfection, but that is how we were made. It is like buying a used car- "as is". There will be problems. this doesn't make you "bad" at all.

Yes, I find meditation very helpful, stabilizing.

I also find it very helpful to read deliberately chosen spiritually centered material... I'm just now finishing Blofeld's "The Wheel of Life", his spiritual autobiography.

Do you have a spiritual 'path' or direction?

I really like your signature, too. Very inspirational and so true!

Thank you for the help as well pumibel.

I would like to overcome my problems very soon. I miss the feeling of even being safe. I haven't felt safe for a good few months now day to day.

To be honest, I was meditating quite frequently at a time and reading some very inspirational mini chapters in a book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and it was all helping a lot, but I stopped doing this. Everything for me became a struggle. I know how to do some basic meditation however and I should try to again, because logically, and emotionally, why should I not put in effort to make myself happy and not tormented by stuff I can overcome?
I think the fact that I never go to bed for too long then get up at ridiculous times probably isn't helping. I have become nocturnal and I should go to bed a lot earlier, because I think I need about 8 hours of sleep and I haven't been functioning too well and haven't given myself chances to go to sleep.

Thank you about the signature. This is a Buddhist quote.

Last edited by samtoo on 04 May 2010, 9:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I have at least 3 meltdowns on WP, each month. I still come back, with an apology and post the next day, without giving it a second thought. We all have our moments. That's what makes us human. I think that you're fun to have around.

Thank you CockneyRebel.

It is nice to know people like me here. I feel a bit more re-assured now.

There are some things that can affect meditation ease... when you sit, do you face a wall or out a window? If anxiety is coming up a lot, facing into the sky or large open space or out a window can help with the claustrophobic, crunchy feeling.

Lifting the gaze slightly can help with drowsiness, lowering the gaze can help quiet the mind. Duration of the sitting period can be changed, posture corrected, all sorts of minor things can have a big impact on one's ability to sustain practice and the effectiveness of practice.

It's helpful to work with someone experienced in a tradition of meditation when an obstacle comes up. I happen to be Buddhist, so I know most about that, but I've got friends who are contemplative Christians, and the Sufis also have many experienced meditation teachers.




You might check into dream yoga... www.upaya.org... have a listen to B. Alan Wallace's talks in their archive. To do dream yoga, first you have to fall asleep, so he has some nice recommendations for that. Then, when you wake up, you can record your dreams, making it all meaningful. All on the way to cultivating lucid dreaming and exploring the landscape of the mind... fascinating stuff!



I thought I'd seen it before!
I'm going to bed now... sleep well!

I also think you are a cool person samtoo.
Have you ever tryed psychotherapy to help with the OCD? Maybe it will help you.
I hope that you overcome your problems soon as you said.