So....my grandfather passed away.

Post Reply New Topic

Yesterday, my grandfather was dying from breathing difficulties when he got struck by Covid (yes, it STILL exists) a few weeks ago. Last night, at 10:00pm my time, he finally passed away.

I suppose I should describe what my grandpa was like, don't I?

In his youth, he was quite the troublemaker, but he did have some good intentions. He told me one time about the "garter snake incident". What happened was he was trying to give a garter snake to his neighbor family for their garden, but they didn't know much about snakes, so after he gave the snake to them in the bag, the wife screamed at the top of her lungs, and the husband got angry at him and chased him through the neighborhood. After hiding from the angry neighbor for a while, the neighbor's daughters got ticked at my grandpa also, and wouldn't speak to him again.

Some time later, he enlisted himself in the Army, and went to Vietnam during the Cold War. One of his stories is about the time he was trying to find an army base in the middle of the night, and he and his comrade-in-arms thought they were lost. After they stopped driving and taking a short rest, a commanding officer woke up the two abruptly, shouting, "HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE MINEFIELD?!?!" (except he didn't say the word "hell"). This really scared my grandfather, and he explained to the person they got lost, and were trying to find the base they were traveling to. The officer then was kind enough to lead the two to the nearby military base, and offered them a good meal afterwards. Oh, and he was a Spec-Four.

After getting back from the war, he then worked in a paper mill for some time. Some time later, after giving birth to my mother, their only child, the two got divorced, mainly because my grandfather was getting stubborn and aggressive. Yes, he was becoming a "grumpy old man". My mother often visited him from time to time, but when she did, he only gave her VERY few limited options, which my mom finds disappointing.

Some few years after my birth, I drew him a picture of me and him going out camping in tents. By the time I got to my late teens, however, my wish for camping with him came true, but we camped in his RV (he insists on calling it his "motor home"), and went around many places within the US, like Oregon, Arizona, Pennsylvania, and Texas.

Yeah, we did had some good times, but some times he can be just as aggressive with me as he was with my mom and grandmother. Sometimes, whenever I try to explain to him about something or make a mistake while doing chores for him, his anger can often get the best of him and either scolds me harshly or smack me in the head. Ever since then, I try not to say or do anything to provoke him as best as I could. Honestly, I recently wondered if he had some kind of mental health disorder, like Borderline Personality Disorder.

In the last ten years of his life, he moved from Pennsylvania to another state near where I live with his girlfriend, Darlene. We often visited him, usually during Thanksgiving, Easter, or when he wants us to visit him, especially since he needs ME to do chores for him. He had a swimming pool that he lets us use to have fun in after we get done with everything he wanted us to do.

And now...the last time I ever saw him alive was he was in the hospital after being struck by Covid a few weeks before, and his lungs were collapsed that the doctors put him on a breathing tube so he couldn't really say anything. I was expecting him to at least call me by my first and middle name as he always called me, but he was unable to, so I got really saddened and disappointed. I tried to visit him as long as I could, either by holding his hand or reading a story to him about the first air force (he really LOVED to read about military stuff, since he was enlisted). I tried to tell him a few times that he HAS to get better and the doctors are trying their best to help him. But....after we got back from visiting him, he actually got worse to the point that he starts dying. After my mom finally agreed to "pull the plug", yesterday, he finally died last night.

So, that's how life was like for my grandfather. We had some good and bad times. He suffered and done so much, and now I just hope he finally finds solace in the afterlife.

I'm sorry you lost your grandfather, UncannyDanny, and thanks for sharing your memories of him - you get a real sense of the man from these anecdotes.

I like that you remember the good stuff and the not so good stuff. There's a tendency to try to clean people up after they pass, the speak no ill of the dead thing. But I've always felt that's dishonouring their memory too. What you've described there is a human being, flaws and all. That's how I'd like to be remembered.

I'm glad you got to spend more time with him later in his life. I wish I'd had that with my Grandad. I think I only saw him once or twice in his last 15-20 years due to family ructions.

Anyway, sorry again.

Yeah sorry for your loss

Thanks for sharing the stories about your grandfather. I am glad you have good memories of him. I am sorry he hit you. I think it is good you remember his living and not just his dying. I am sorry for your loss.

Thanks you all for your apologies and understanding so far. I just liked to share this story, since he was the closest person I had as a father (my father was actually SO MUCH worse!). Yeah, I also had my step-father, but he really wasn't that good at parenting when he was alive.

I’m very sorry to hear of your grandfather’s passing. It’s so difficult to lose those who were important to us. I’m sure the fact that you went to see him at the hospital meant a lot to him.

Sweet Pea hugs