Losing Passion

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I feel like I've been losing passion in a lot of things that used to be huge interests of mine. Music, for example, used to be all I wanted to do. I taught myself 7 instruments from when I was 7 onwards and took lessons for 8+ years in three of them. I have a wide taste in music and used to get much enjoyment from turning on my parents audiophile set up and listening to music for hours to wind down from school. Starting from when I was 15 though I started developing symptoms which I can best describe as depersonalization. Sometimes I'll get some sort of spark and get my interest back for a few weeks, but every now and then I just kind of seem to drift in to the routine of life. I just kind of exist and go to school, do the work, and just come home and not do anything. I can't even really say I don't want to do anything when I come home, I just don't.

Sometimes I wonder if it's the meds I'm on, but just in general I go through long periods of isolation, really bad insomnia (although this has been a problem for a long time, I can't turn my brain off at night and I'm always thinking about something,) and loss of interest in life in general. My parents tell me that they think life is simply just overwhelming for me at times, but I can't imagine why it would be; I have a good network of friends whom I talk to often and hang out with, I do fairly well in school and my teachers tell me I have potential in a variety of subjects, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I just don't have a clear cut direction for where I'm going to go in life and what I'm going to do, and I feel like maybe I need something like that.

Anyone else in the same general boat as me?

Unless you think your parents are out to get you, I would pay attention to the idea that, "life is just overwhelming for you at times".

Many, many of the aspies I know have said, more or less, that the thing they like the least about being an aspie is that they need to JUST DO NOTHING for long periods of time--and that is pretty much a permanent part of the dx.

Don't feel bad. I'm an NT, and I find that I have a lot of that as well, although it goes more to a very strong need to be alone. You're in good company with other very sensitive folks, regardless.

I agree with you, and I think I got lucky with my parents. My dad reminds me a lot of me but is kind of hard to get close to. My mom however has always been very supportive, is pretty knowledgeable and is a respectable paraprofessional.

The thing that kind of worries me is it seems like I used to really want to do things but over time got more and more disinterested. I hear about such things happening with people in general who have been in the work force for some time but I'm only a junior in high school and am experiencing such things.

It could be completely normal, but I have reason to believe there are other potential causes.

Sounds like you just got bored. I remember feeling sad and feeling no motivation at times, and I couldn't figure out why, and it turned out I was just bored.

Just try to keep up with your musical pursuits at least enough to maintain your skill. And feel proud that you have such a strength in music.

same here. i used to be obsessed with chemistry and now i've lost it. they do say that aspies become more NT with age, i.e. less obsessed. Another thing I notice is that if I do too much of an interesting subject I get bored very soon.

With all due respect, I think it's more that the obsessions tend to change--AS is pretty much lifelong.

You need a new obsession.

However, if you're concerned about depression, I would definitely look into meds or exercise.

My obsessions really dropped off due to age. Plus I'm in a position where I am forced to pursue a new career, I'm kind of stuck in this dormant period because I have to be in order to survive and support my son. Sucks but that is reality.

I've had some obsessions drop off, as a result of the medications that I'm on, but than, all of the sudden, 10 weeks before Christmas, my passion for the 60s and my favourite segment and band of that era, came back, with a vengeance. I still don't have my passion for art back, and if it ever comes back, I'll be spending less hours a day on WP, though I'd still be on here, between 1 and 3 hours, because I'd be busy working on my art.

I don't always have an obsession - I have periods of transitions and in these transitory periods I often feel lost without an obsession. In fact before my ASD obsession, I wasn't interested in anything and it made me feel kind of empty even though I wasn't depressed. I think that our preocupations are such an important part of our functioning that we don't feel ourselves without them. But I read that autistics either get more or less autistic when depressed. When I'm depressed I will literaly do nothing all day, rarely eating, etc, so is that a possibility for you?