Stopping Worries

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^^Yaye greetings everyone.

I am very sorry to bother you all and if I am very negative however I am very scared. I have been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism approximately one year ago. However I do not believe that I possess this magical disorder due to many matter. ^^My family started to worry for me approximately three and a half years ago (towards the end of 2006) as I was happy not to be with humans very often.

Approximately towards the end of 2004 I believe I begin to form a framework within my head. This magical framework consists of many beliefs (I joined a very lovely Philosophy group that helped me) that helped me to be so very happy. (As a child I believe I was very horrible).

^^I believe I am now very scared as I believe my poor human family is very worried and I hoped very much that a diagnosis would result in their happiness and not worrying however I believe this is not the case.

^^I have attempted to research many magical disorders and I believe schizotypal personality disorder describes me the greatest, however I believe I am not blessed by any happy illusions or paranoia. I perhaps wonder if I may simply be very strange in comparison with other humans and also now possess social anxiety.

However, I am very scared as I know not how to stop my human family worrying. My happy brother has tonight spoken with me and he was very upset and he wishes for me to speak with more humans and communicate a greater amount. However I am very happy.

^^I am very sorry for posting however by doing this my family often allow me to feel more isolated from humans. (I am often not lonely without humans due to my lovely kitties)

I am not quite certain how to remain as myself (I believe that I may now not be any other way) and so that my family are happy. I wish not to upset them.

I am sorry for bothering you all.

^^Thank you very much for reading.

Post on here as much as u want, that is what this site is for.

how do you balance being true to yourself and making your family happy?
Do not attempt to create a whole new personality because that will not make them or you happy.

It would be understandable to hope that a diagnosis would make your family happy by showing them "this is why I don't socialise as much as you do".
Maybe try talking to your family more about things that you are doing with yourself and your kitties, maybe this would get the point across, that you are happy being with your kitties.

They might feel better if you went out with them to social events a bit more then u usually do (even if u are only there for an hour or less)

Hello, lovely Tomasu. I'm sorry that you're feeling scared. You certainly don't sound negative, and I can't imagine you being a bother.

I think there are a number of issues here. The first is your diagnosis. If you don't think it is correct, I think you need to ask your family to help you to seek further medical advice. If you do indeed have schizotypal personality disorder, you may need specialised treatment, including medication, if the symptoms start to cause you problems in the future.

I can also understand why your family would be worried about you. I have two children only a little younger than you, and I know that I would be very concerned if they were cutting themselves off from human contact and developing social anxiety. I would be particularly concerned at the impact this might have on their future ability to live independently and enjoy their lives. At the moment you are only twenty, still very young, but your family are probably concerned about how you will be living in ten or twenty or forty years' time. Your HFA diagnosis is comparatively recent, and your family may still be having trouble accepting that you have ANY sort of condition- it can take a while for that sort of information to sink in.

Having an accurate diagnosis probably won't make your family "happy", as such, but the more they can understand about your situation, the better equipped they will be to help you live happily, and that may help them to worry less. I think you may need to find a peaceful moment (not when they are upset) to talk with them and explain how you feel about this. If talking about it is difficult, explain in writing, like you have done in this post. At the moment, you are feeling scared and they are feeling worried- that's not a good situation for ANY of you. And of COURSE you need to remain as yourself- who else COULD you be?

However, you may need to be patient with your family while they get used to the person you are becoming as you grow up, and try to see things from their perspective too. I really do wish you all the best, lovely Tomasu. Jenny

^^Yaaaaye thank you so very much for your replies and advice tweety_fan and jennyishere. I believe this is certainly lovely advice to attempt to ask for further medical advice. I believe I asked my happy brother if he would wish for me to visit a psychologist, however I believe he was upset as he stated that he wished not for me to do anything. ^^I believe I am currently taking part within voice therapy (however there exists currently a little break as my previous voice therapy lady has travelled to a different hospital and thus I am waiting for a new lady) and perhaps this shall certainly help my anxiety friends to not be so scared.

^^Yaye thankee also tweety_fan. I believe my sister is perhaps very lovely and understands very much that I am happy without hoomins (although I do enjoy being with hoomins also, this often implies that I do not seek the company of hoomins as much as others) and does not very as great an amount. I believe now that my parents and particularly my lovely brother worry the greatest amount. (I am worried I irritate them also as I enjoy discussing many matters fundamentally). My brother believes I am "wacko" as I love my kitties as much as my human family.

^^Yaye thankee for your advice jennyishere, this is very lovely of you I believe. I do hope I am not being impatient for them. ^^ I believe I may certainly ask if I may visit a happy little psychologist again for him/her to examine my autism diagnosis.

Thankee very much jennyishere and tweety_fan.

I hope that things turn out, for you and that you won't have to feel scared, in the future.

Hmmmm, you seem to have a most unique way of speaking Tomasu.
"magical disorders," "happy illusions," "lovely/happy brother," "happy little psychologist" etc.
Such light-spirited & yet curiously unlikely phrasing, that i have not heard the like of before