Me, genuinely wanting to kill myself? No wai!!

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Why don't people believe me when I express a desire to kill myself?
How am I supposed to get help when nobody believes me when I ask for help?
They think I'm just looking for attention.
Or maybe they actually do want to see me dead?

Where can I find people who will help me, please?

its a paradox if you tell them they dont belive you but if you try to they ssk why you didnt tell them.. yeah i have has expirence of this

Not to make light of your pain: Boy cried wolf. So many people say they're suicidal, yet so few kill themselves, or have a decent attempt at it. Just peruse this part of WP. I can think of one person out of hundreds, who went through with it, and then it wasn't a direct posting. That one person is obviously very important, of course, but I think...it's also emotionally draining and painful on those you tell, who really don't know you at all, compared to people close to you or close by who can provide real help.

Perhaps if you tell your parents, or someone who watches out for you near you, that you want to kill yourself, and you have plans to do it, will someone then listen. Telling the people who're hardest to tell will get you the help you need.

I don't think anyone wants to see you dead, well, I'd hope not. (Unless of course you're a homicidal baby eater, but I don't think that's likely.)

The local psychiatric ward is the place to go for acute care and help; ER gets you there.

I'm sure you know the emergency service numbers, and if you fear for your life, that's when you call.

I don't want you to be dead blue bean: you're the one who made me know Chingon.
... Well, I think you're the one who put one of their songs on the music thread.

And someone who's able to raise such an enthousiasm in music doesn't deserve to early die

I don't know what you're going through at the moment but I hope you all the very best in life as quick as possible.

I can't tell my parents, they'll get angry at me wanting to do something so selfish. My dad is also away on a 6 week driving holiday, I don't want to see him mad at me for making him cut it short.

I hear lots of stories about people getting turned away at the hospital. Would it help if I got my GP to admit me?

I think you should go to your GP. If like me you have difficulty getting across how bad you feel in a one on one, it might be a good idea to write down what you're thinking and feeling, as well as details of your plan, so he can see that you're serious. Tell him that the thoughts are disabling to you, you don't want to hurt others, but you can't stop thinking about it. That's how it comes across to me anyway.

Nobody took me seriously either, and I made two serious suicide attempts... even then nobody took me seriously. I was so ashamed of myself when I was in hospital having my stomach pumped that I told them it was an accident, and they chose to believe me. That was when I was 23. Before that I tried it when I was sixteen or seventeen, but I vomited in my sleep, and was sick for days on end (over a week I think.) My parents didn't even call the doctor.

My advice is that you need to make plans to explain how badly this is effecting you, because when you're suicidal and fighting those urges it can be almost impossible to explain to anyone what you're going through.

So please, write it down, show it to your Doctor, and beg him to get you into hospital, because you shouldn't have to feel like this.

By the way, I don't want you dead. Look after yourself, and please see your Doctor.

A doctor has to take such seriously. If you say you're suicidal, they won't and can't turn you away, and they'll probably get an ambulance for you to take you to a hospital.

'I want to kill myself, and if I'm left alone, I will,' or something like that, will admit you to a hospital.

000 works if you're scared that you will. The ambulance will pick you up and take you to the ER.

I can't stop thinking about it. Coming up with ideas to do it is pretty much all I've been doing all day. I didn't get much work done. I've been losing a lot of weight over the last few months too, not helped much by how I'm feeling mentally and the lack of appetite due to everything. And I'm pretty sure it won't stop plumeting. I'll end up in hospital either way .

Me loves me some Chingon! Malaguena Salerosa is on my favourite movie soundtrack. I tried counting the beats so I could attempt to write a linedance to it, but the beat kept throwing me off and I kept losing count. Oh well, the song was too fast anyway.

You need to see your doctor now. Odds are he will admit you to a hospital, which honestly, isn't that bad especially if they put you on meds. That way they can see if they're working for you, plus you'll have support there.
I've been where you are a few times, and it's hard, crying for help is a catch-22. It's either considered a sympathy ploy or a joke to some because many think that if you truly want to kill yourselk, you'll just do it, without telling anyone. It sucks. I'd suggest a suicide hotline to call, but it sounds like you need more than that at this point. If your GP won't see you immediately, go the the ER, and tell them how bad it really is. Like the doctor, they can't turn away a truly suicidal person.
Good luck to you, and keep strong.

I'm already on meds, but sometimes I go for days without taking them because I just plain forget (too much on my mind).

I guess I should pack a bag with some clothes and stuff in it? Save my mum doing it after I'm admitted (small things are strange things to think about at this time I know).

I think, if you are that scared of killing yourself, then this is a small risk to take.

If you broach the subject calmly with your parents and make it clear that you are not being manipulative or attention seeking, I don't see why they wouldn't be concerned (unless you do this on a regular basis already).

You're also 26 though, so it may be better to go directly to the GP yourself and explain your symptoms and thoughts. They probably won't admit you, but they can prescribe antidepressants and refer you to a psychiatrist who can help.

Admission is usually only for really severe mental illness (mania, schizophrenia, very severe depression) or serious suicide attempts (yes, I know all are serious, but some are more so). If you turn up at A&E and just ask to be admitted, they will talk to you, but in the end, they will probably send you home and refer you to your doctor.

I think it is a very common thng for people on the spectrum to feel this way. I have been suicidal on and off since I was 12. I was told i was attention seeking but my desires were real, I just couldnt see a way i could go through wth it without hurtng others.

I knew a girl who committed suicide when i was 24. i saw the pain it cased everyone who knew her. I didnt understand it, she had friends, a job, and everything going for her.

Sometimes life is so painful that you need to reach out, and say, "I need a hand, I cant do this on my own." If you cant rely on the people around you there are things like 24 hour phone counselling services, face to face counsellors, and others.

I have the same problem only I've done it a few times and never talked about except on this forum. I think trying to find support from strangers is all well and good but they don't all know you well enough. The internet is full of people with so many different motives behind their cries for help. I've known many people who have used, abused and choosed not to respond too kindly to help and support that was offered. I had another incident that involved trolling. While that's a completely different issue, it did make me realize that not everyone can be trusted. I kept trying to "help" a guy who was supposedly dealing with psychotic and depressive issues. He kept threateing to take his life and most of us we're trying to keep him from doing it. I even shared my most intimate stories with this guy just so he knew he wasn't alone. Meanwhile he was sharing my and other people's advice and support on another forum. I never felt as exploited as I did with this troll and couldn't understand why. So you gotta understand, some of us run into these people who act "emo" or fake in order to get attention in the most strangest ways. Many people have good reasons to be untrusting even though they may not be going on it in the right way.

I think Daniel makes a great point about the boy who cried wolf. Most people assume you won't do it if you keep saying you will but won't. Depending on how frequently you talk about it but that doesn't mean you're not going to do it. Not everyone will attempt suicide automatically act out their thoughts even though the urges feel very real. But like I said, depending that doesn't mean it won't happen. More than likely if you don't get help, these thoughts could get out of hand and who knows, you may end up dead or in the hospitale. People tend to have misconceptions about people who are suicidal thoughts. I don't think it's always a great idea to assume that just because a person can't stop talking about their urge to die, doesn't mean they're going to do it since they haven't. It will sometimes go through a pattern, one day that person may be doing ok or even having a good day then the all of a sudden the automatic thoughts come without warning.

I can remember having these urges back to when I was 12. For many years I had these thoughts but didn't act on them until I was about 18. I wasn't aware at the time, but as I look back, there were a lot of factors that slowly but quickly accumulated from cause to effect. I had lost a friend, the only friend I had. My mom and dad divorced after having been married for 20 years. I didn't know what to do with my life after I got out of school, I wasn't adjusting college very well, I was on my own but couldn't make my grades nor my ends meet. It was I think for the first time I began to realize that there was something not right with me. I couldn't seem to adapt or develop any friendships or relationships. This made life very difficult since I just couldn't change or become what my parents wanted of me. I didn't know how to get help because I didn't know what "it" was. I can't remember what led to the first attempt except not making my test scores and worrying about money since I lost a job that I just couldn't keep up with. I was told was that my door had been locked and my mom, sister, and neighbor had tried to get me up via telephone and then door. There was xanax, alcohol and something else in my system. So went to a psych ward, went to my therapy classes and they said I was getting better so I was out and about again. I tried to pretend everything was ok but I started using and drinking behind everyone's back. I felt like I had found a cure for something I couldn't put a name to until a year later when I was finally assessed and diagnosed. Well to make my long story short, it got out of control. I would go from feeling great to finding myself in the hospitable. I either overdosed or almost bled to death. I tried so hard to find support but almost always it was with the wrong people. My nearest and last incident involved a surgeon removing a knife penetrated some good inches in my lower stomach. The pain was terrible and I really did feel like I was going to do die.. That was my last attempt which was a year ago.

Suicidal thoughts are very real to the person experiencing them. Not everyone is going to understand or try to for their own reasons whether they're well meaning or not. That's just how people are.

Not everyone is a guru about these things. Some people will project they're own feelings toward a person in need of help while others will not even pretend to understand. The most we can do is be supportive and give hope. The the mind cannot always be comprehended since it cannot be seen or experienced by that other person. I use to think it was my fault and to a degree I do take some responsibility for not getting the real help I needed. I'm still trying to get help and while the feelings and thoughts are still there, they're are much milder and not as intense as they use to be.

Your family, experts, doctors, that's what they're there for. But you also have to understand that these experts may not have all the answers the first, second or third time around since it takes more than expertise, to get a better understanding of where you're coming from. You might even have to find another doctor or two who you feel you can click with. It can be a pain in the butt but it's worth but only if you want real help. Even meds takes time since not all pills respond to the very ailment that's causing it.

While your meds may help but there may still be those thoughts and old patterns of behavior you've adapted and utelized through the cognitive process of the brain. I've been going to a cognitive therapy group for about two months now. I may never be able to communicate or behave the way in which comes naturally to most people, but I try and accept what I can't change while learning what I can change for the better. It isn't easy and not everyone's way is the right way. If I were you I would at least talk to my doctor or someone you feel safe enough to trust. I know being on the spectrum it isn't easy for a lot of us to just call a friend up or find a friend that you know well enough to trust which may be another factor that contributes to our depression. Support groups are one great way of meeting people who may understand where you're coming from. I find that while I'm at first reluctant to go, I feel 10 times better after I do. Sometime we're not always aware that people are good for us even if it just involves being around them without conversation.

Anyway I didn't mean for this to come off long and rantly.

Take care.

There's nothing wrong with wanting attention when you actually NEED it. If a child was drowning would you scold him/her when he/she cried out for help?

You're NOT selfish either. Don't listen to people who tell you that. They seriously have NO IDEA what it's like. I'm not saying suicide is a moral thing to do or that it's okay. Just that it's not your fault for feeling that way. Just try to be brave and hang in there until you find a professional who will listen. I hope you feel better soon.

People who say that suicide is selfish are pretty clueless. I attempted twice last year and I can say that the best thing to do would be to tell someone, which unfortunately I never did.