It's almost like being in an abusive family now

Post Reply New Topic

It's still hell living with my dad since our falling out...his temper has gotten a lot worse. One slight wrong move and he will be quick to threaten me. He's never been like that before.

He's also been rather demeaning and rude to me lately.

Every day now I feel like I will sit in my room and he's going to yell at me for something any minute. I can get away from him during the day but regardless I feel like my dad is ready to get angry with me for not doing anything with my life today...although I'm close. I'm in contact with a Volunteer Service and theyre letting me come in on Friday to sign up and get my TB vaccine so I can work in the hospital and all of that.

Back on topic: I regret ever being unsympathetic to people who come from abusive relationships or families. You dont know what that's like until you're actually in it and your mind is so paranoid and jumpy with the idea that someone is going to really hurt you any minute. My dad is not violent but his yelling and tempter is enough to upset me and keep me watching my back.

I understand. My father was never physically abusive but he had an erratically explosive temper. The thing that would cause a scream fest one day would be the thing he didn't notice the day before. I know what it feels like to have your stomach in knots. I became very hyper vigilant to body language as a result. I know what you mean about never knowing if he'd become violent. When your father has you backed up to a wall with a look of disgust on his face it tends to mess with a young girls head. He's dead now and looking at the total picture I see many significant aspie traits in him and I believe he was overloaded with the task of supporting 5 children. I offer that as a reason and not as an excuse. He said he chose verbal abuse over physical abuse and it took me til I was 30 before I asked myself why there had to be any abuse at all. I'm going on about my own experience to make a point. My father should have been medicated and treated for depression and he wasn't and we all suffered for it. Perhaps your father needs to see a doctor.

i was lucky to be able to leave my human family behind at 17 when i joined the military. never looked back.
damage done. never was able to shake the effects----speech problems, anxiety, terrible dreams, feelings of worthlessness.

do you have anyone to really intervene for you? i had no one to help me. think that would be a big help.

it's easy to tell you it's not your fault, but that's not much of a help, is it. we all wish you the best. many of us out here.

My mother used to have a terrible temper and would be incredibly emotionally abusive when it got the better of her. It always made me feel absolutely terrible. So I understand. Keep your head up.

My mother has a tendency to use me as an emotional punch bag, usually this makes me explode with anger and I just can't control myself. Then she just plays the victim claiming I'm the one who caused it, thankfully no one believes that for a second but it's made me want to explode with anger more often.

Op I'm in the same boat as you. I try as hard as possible to avoid my parents for the same reasons, and usually it's right.

Different here. My father [REALLY sweet and friendly now he is advanced Alzheimer's] was Mr. Silent Uninvolved. Never said much of anything except to tell me I was doing the dishes wrong or point out bare feet were not allowed at the table.

Not a candidate for abusive - hardly even there. Mother did all the discipline. But one or two times a year SOMETHING wuld set him off and HE would take on the punishmen. Like having a statue come to life and grab you by the arm. Never did much more than washi out the mouth with soap or put you in the closet for what years afterward would get called a time out. But it was SCARY.

A bit off topic but things have been looking up a bit but I think I already blew it. I got a call today about coming in for a job interview. It was rather unexpected cuz my resume was sent by my Medical School dean not me. So I dunno what's even on it (it might not be an updated resume she sent the company). Plus the lady accidentally mixed up my dad's papers with mine. He did a 2 week phlebotomy workshop at my school and they seemed more impressed with having someone who could draw blood than someone who was taught medical billing.

But I think I blew it when I pulled a blonde and ask if it was a professional job interview I was coming in for. I was just surprised and confused all at the same time as to why this company I never heard of (or sent a resume to) would suddenly call me up about a job opening that I panicked. Oh well I still got to come in for the interview on Monday but I'm not expecting much to come out of it.

Don't worry about it. Most everyone has to go through many job interviews. As for your dad, don't let what he thinks, says or does to you affect your self that much because he is fallible. His views are based on his not knowing. Don't let ignorance confuse the truth. Keep pushing forward.

My parents psychologically abuse me.

mind if i ask why your dad is yelling at you? maybe he is overly frustrated and doesn't know how to talk about it. not making excuses but he may have a valid reason for being upset, especially considering your info says you are 27 and you just had a blow out with him. maybe he figures he has put in his time and that you are an adult now so and wants you to be more self sufficient. i can't imagine being 27 and purposely living at home with my parents. also, if you think doing a phlebotomy workshop would get you work at the hospital, you should probably do that. i know it's not right to have to walk on eggshells all the time and worry about being yelled at. i feel like that all the time with my boyfriend. he seems to think i'm incompetant and can't do anything right. but, it's my house and i can do as i please so basically i just tell him to shut up and leave if he doesn't like how i do things. you are an adult living under your dads roof. that puts it on you to try to find a way to talk it out with him, work out a compromise of some sort on the things that upset him. maybe sit down with him and let him help you write out a list of goals with a timeline to work towards. at least that way he won't feel like you are still a little kid that needs taking care of, maybe he'll lighten up on you.

Same here. For me, tolerance is by far the only solution...

My mom is that way(not as bad, but not the condition you'd want to be with), so solution, I stay longer hours at university, even with no late classes!

And the benefits? More time with friends. And also, I was more productive with my assignments at school than at home which I'm quite laid back with. Working at school gave me the push for some reason.

Another benefit is for photography since I like to shoot sunsets.