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melbi
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04 Jun 2010, 3:14 am

I'm exhausted. I'm sick of dealing with myself. I just want to rest, or escape.

Why can't I just escape all these like some people do? Smoking, drinking, drugging...

Or just quit uni...

Or just end it all...

Which one is better? The bottom line is, I don't want to deal with it anymore. I give up fighting for now. You hear me? I give up. I don't want to go to psychologist anymore. I don't want to take medications. I don't want to do a thing. I had enough.

Give me a break. After fighting for 10 years, I need a break. Just let me rest.



auntblabby
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04 Jun 2010, 3:19 am

keep talking, man. get it out of your system.



Sparrowrose
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04 Jun 2010, 3:27 am

Yeah, what AuntBlabby said. We've most of us been there, too. We're here to listen.


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blue_bean
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04 Jun 2010, 3:46 am

I feel that way sometimes. I just want to barricade myself in my room and stay in bed forever.



melbi
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04 Jun 2010, 8:49 am

thanks guys. i feel a tiny bit better after a long sleep with my puppy.
also a couple NTs in uni has been very supportive (which im quite surprise)
all i wish now is to get thru this semester.

i want to defer my degree but i don't think parents would ever agree...

sometimes i really doubt if seeing psychologist has made me better....



CockneyRebel
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04 Jun 2010, 1:28 pm

I've been feeling very exhausted, lately.


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aussiebloke
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04 Jun 2010, 8:54 pm

want to defer my degree but i don't think parents would ever agree...

If you don't mind me saying it shouldn't be up to them , (unless their paying for your degree and if they are lucky you ! you should follow your own path do you really need an eduction /high paying carer to be happy? I don't :) . I'm almost ready to get off disability and my "family" are pressuring me to get an education or trade qualificafiction , these things don't intrest me which is lucky for me having spent nearly 10 years on a disability pension and having recovered from TBI (traumatic brain injury) the chances of getting a trade apprenticeship or finding employment after a completing a degree are close to nil. I' ve seen the hard data that's out their and it's not pretty reading :roll: . Lucky these days their a plenty of opportunities for uneducated people like myself to find a well paying job. 8) By well paying I mean above the "average" wage which in Australia is $55,000.



Last edited by aussiebloke on 04 Jun 2010, 9:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

aussiebloke
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04 Jun 2010, 9:01 pm

Melbi says:

Give me a break. After fighting for 10 years, I need a break. Just let me rest.

Checked your profile and we have a common interest travel . :) I'm about to do just that (South East Asia) may be you should do the same, just pack up and go some where ?



Kat15
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04 Jun 2010, 10:56 pm

That's what were here for! Don't do anything stupid, you are only 22, you have lots of years to find happiness, it just might not be right now. (sorry if that sounded corny)

what auntblabby said just keep talking. We will listen.



melbi
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05 Jun 2010, 12:39 am

aussiebloke wrote:
want to defer my degree but i don't think parents would ever agree...

If you don't mind me saying it shouldn't be up to them , (unless their paying for your degree and if they are lucky you ! you should follow your own path do you really need an eduction /high paying carer to be happy? I don't :) . I'm almost ready to get off disability and my "family" are pressuring me to get an education or trade qualificafiction , these things don't intrest me which is lucky for me having spent nearly 10 years on a disability pension and having recovered from TBI (traumatic brain injury) the chances of getting a trade apprenticeship or finding employment after a completing a degree are close to nil. I' ve seen the hard data that's out their and it's not pretty reading :roll: . Lucky these days their a plenty of opportunities for uneducated people like myself to find a well paying job. 8) By well paying I mean above the "average" wage which in Australia is $55,000.


If I quit, I'll loose all the financial support. I have no ability in earning enough money for living...that's the main reason why everything needs their apporval. They use money to control me, pretty much.

$55,000 is a lot of money!! ! More than first year and second years out doctors



melbi
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05 Jun 2010, 12:42 am

aussiebloke wrote:
Melbi says:

Give me a break. After fighting for 10 years, I need a break. Just let me rest.

Checked your profile and we have a common interest travel . :) I'm about to do just that (South East Asia) may be you should do the same, just pack up and go some where ?


Feed money in my bank account and ll travel the world :D

why is everything about money...lol...

Can't wait to graduate and earn money :P



melbi
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05 Jun 2010, 12:47 am

Kat15 wrote:
That's what were here for! Don't do anything stupid, you are only 22, you have lots of years to find happiness, it just might not be right now. (sorry if that sounded corny)

what auntblabby said just keep talking. We will listen.


Thanks guys. I feel a little bit better...spirit up for exams! fighting fighting to pass this semester!! ! then I'm half way thru my degree :D

Melbi suddenly misses her bf so much. haven't see him for a month. was sick of him for quite a while, but now i kinda miss him. he is always there...always there...to give Melbi support... and yet Melbi rejected him again and again. But now i really miss him. hope he's here with me and my puppy Kumo.



Sparrowrose
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05 Jun 2010, 12:48 am

melbi wrote:
Can't wait to graduate and earn money :P


You and me both! My life will be so much more under my own control when I have an income.


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melbi
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05 Jun 2010, 12:58 am

Sparrowrose wrote:
melbi wrote:
Can't wait to graduate and earn money :P


You and me both! My life will be so much more under my own control when I have an income.


Sparrowrose,
I view your website and I totally adore you!! ! You have studied so much!! ! I hate study...altho I'm kinda good at it...all my life I've been waiting to graduate. Don't think I'll do any master, doctorate degree after bachelor.....but might do another bachelor degree partime tho, something related to dolphins :D
anyway, how many years to graduation? 2.5years for me.



Sparrowrose
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05 Jun 2010, 3:12 am

melbi wrote:
Sparrowrose wrote:
melbi wrote:
Can't wait to graduate and earn money :P


You and me both! My life will be so much more under my own control when I have an income.


Sparrowrose,
I view your website and I totally adore you!! ! You have studied so much!! ! I hate study...altho I'm kinda good at it...all my life I've been waiting to graduate. Don't think I'll do any master, doctorate degree after bachelor.....but might do another bachelor degree partime tho, something related to dolphins :D
anyway, how many years to graduation? 2.5years for me.


I'm guessing three more years for me. I'm doing a program that's a masters and doctorate rolled together and I just finished the masters part this last semester so however long it takes to do a doctorate is what I've got left.


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aussiebloke
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06 Jun 2010, 6:34 pm

Melbi says:

55,000 is a lot of money!! ! More than first year and second years out doctors.

Really? I don't think $ A 55,000 is a lot of money it's an "average" wage, back in the 90's I used to work as a lowly cycle courier (messenger) in Brisbane and if you work your a%$E your could earn an above average wage (which was around $35,000 back than .) Not sure what their earning these days.....