2 rants in 1: Horrible person from school AND annoying dad!

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Hey guys,
I'm stuck with two things at the moment, and yes they are both minor and insignificant and slightly lame so keep you insults to a minimum!

Problem 1: Horrible person from school!
Back in the day, there was a really really horrible girl at my high school (I am 20 now) who used to hate me with a passion. She used to bash me up, taunt, insult, and spread rumours about me, and everything I did wrong she'd be there to bag me out. She used to make what friends I had gang up on me and I couldn't stop her because she'd always beat me in fights (physical and verbal) and if i got the teachers onto her she'd bag me out about it. My dad came up to school one day without telling me to tell the teachers about her, and my class bagged me out and said I told my dad to come and say something to the teachers about her and I didn't, he came on his own. Anyway it was 3 years of hell! (She left in my final year). After leaving school and going to college and uni, i made friends and decided they (the really mean girl and the many other people who were mean at school) were just b*****s and had nothing else better to do. It made me feel better about myself to know that most of the mean people were pregnant with 3 kids, on the dole, and still living in my hometown - and I had moved out, got on with my life and went to uni.

This was true for most of the mean people...BUT! On facebook last week the really mean girl's (RMG) profile came up when it said 'friend suggestion: RMG and you have 3 mutual friends.' I thought, ha ha, I bet RMG has done nothing with her life, so I went into her profile. Actually, it turns out she lives a fair distance away, and judging by her facebook posts seems like a decent person now.

THIS PISSED ME OFF! How could she be such a horrible b***h and turn into this fairly reasonable woman?? What if she added me (which is likely, I'm facebook friends with a lot of people from highschool and so is she) and started bagging me out again? Why am I so upset that she has a good life now? I should be happy for her I guess, but I can't, I still hate her with every bone in my body...why am I so angry still, it was 8 years ago!

Problem 2: annoying dad
It's exam time at uni (in Australia anyway...) and my parents sometimes ring up and talk during the semester seeing I live away from home. My mum went to uni so she knows not to bother me when I'm studying, however dad doesn't understand this and gets angry when he rings up and I say I can't talk for much. He's also unemployed so he rings up at all hours duing the week and the weekend. Also, over the holidays I usually visit my family, and whenever I go home my dad goes really wierd and treats me like I'm 10. I'm stuck at home with him all day (my mum and brother work) so he just hovers around being really annoying. Leading up to me coming home he constantly rings up (every 2 days or so) just to ask me when I'm coming home, and other pointless things such as telling me to keep warm, go to bed early, and what the dog is doing at home. When he rings up so often i haven't really got much to say because I said most of it the phone conversation before, but if i say 'i haven't got much to say' then he gets mad at me! I've lived out of home for 3 years and he does annoying things like make my bed and lunch and I really hate it. I need my own space!!

I love my family, but how can i cope with my dad being so stupid? I dread the first few days of visiting my parents because my dad just acts so stupid and over the top!

Luv Cad

I had a horrible girl in my school, too. Luckily, she was two grades ahead of me and in the regular program, not honors, so I only had to deal with her in Band and then in the halls and only for a few years between Jr. High and High School. I was happily thinking bad thoughts about her, too, when my mom told me she had become a police officer and worked on a local drug task force. It kind of annoyed me, too, for a while, but now I figure maybe she just grew up and got over herself. I'm still angry with her -- don't know why I can't let that go, but I can't -- but I guess I sort of compartmentalize the girl I knew as an adolescent from the woman she currently is.

I wouldn't worry about her adding you on FB. If she does, just don't grant her request. If your mutual friends ask why, just tell them you don't really know her all that well. If she starts haranguing you, don't engage, just block her.

double post

have i double posted? Is that bad?

No, my post was duplicated accidentally.

I agree.

As for problem #2--sounds like your dad has had trouble letting go of you. Happens a lot.

If he gets mad at you for not having much to say, explain calmly that your life now is mostly school and it's kind of boring (true or not, he may buy it). Ask him what he's been doing instead. Even if you're not interested, it may defuse things.

As for his "hovering," at a point when he seems in an okay mood, calmly explain why those things annoy you. Don't let his emotions overwhelm you (I know this can be hard). Explain that you are an adult and expect to be treated like one, it feels like he doesn't respect you when he treats you like a child. If he won't be reasonable, walk away--leave the house if you have to. YOU be the "adult."

Sadly, he may also just feel like he has nothing to do. Maybe you could help him find a hobby.

Hope that helps somewhat. Sorry you're going through these things. If they matter to you, they are neither "minor" nor "insignificant."

Thanks for the reply, corundum. My dad has absolutely nothing to do, no job or hobby or anything. My mum used to get so mad about it but she doesn't care anymore lol. There's nothing we can do to make dad do anything.

I would then suggest that maybe you spend more time out of the house even when you come home on holiday. It is not your job to "babysit" him (which is what this is starting to sound like).

When he constantly calls you during exams, don't answer the phone. (Tell your mom in advance so she won't think you're avoiding her.) That may sound harsh, but I know what it's like to need uninterrupted time to study. That has to come first.

Take care.

With the first issue, you don't have to accept every friend request or suggestion you get. If she makes an issue of it, you can just block her. In fact, it might even be best to go ahead and block her now.

I think you should be glad that girl is a better person now. I wouldn't associate with her, though. If she friends you, give it a shot, she might want to apologise. If not, you can just delete her again. Be glad she's changed and isn't tormenting others.

Corundum: that is exactly what happens! I like doing work around home cause I get bored easily lol (my parents live in the country with lots of land and I like walking the dog, getting wood, mowing the lawn etc) and dad always says he's going to do it but waits until I do it then comes and helps me (he wont do any work himself). I will have to spend more time away doing other stuff. And I won't answer the phone next time.

Spazzergasm: I think it'd be a good idea to give it a go, its happened with a few other people from school who have turned out to be rather nice.