Might be the most unfortunate man...
Who is 18 and has a roof over his head...I just don't know anymore...I'm not happy with my life at all...I am just getting more and more frustrated. I'm trying to find a job that I can work at and no luck there while people I know have connections and get easy jobs. I still haven't even had a girl friend...I try to talk but I just don't know how...And I also have had the worst luck playing poker recently...It's just a hobby but it seems everytime I should win the improbable happens...I think it's time for me to take a little hiatus but I get very upset because the cards kind of symbolize how my life has been going...it always seems like no matter how hard I try, it never turns out good for me...I'm going to see a psychaitrist soon and I have been told by my doctor that I don't have AS...but I think I have some kind of social phobia/syndrome/etc...I feel like a dissapointment and I don't want to be...I want to be liked, I want my family to be proud, and I want someone...I'm just so lonely and when I hear about other friends, it really hits me.
I feel like my luck just sucks...plain and simple. It seems nothing ever goes right, in anything I do, whether it would be something stupid like playing a game or trying to do something serious (If you get what I mean) and I can never be positive...I know I have problems but I don't know how to fix it, like how to approach fixing it. I feel like a monster sometimes, I don't drink, smoke, or harm myself but I hit things and throw stuff and yell when I don't get my way...and recently it has been a common occurence.
I just want to be happy that's all...I've been questioning my faith lately and sometimes I just don't know if anyone is up there or if he's playing cruel games with me. I just wish I could see the light and turn my life around...I have great things in my life, like a family that cares, good health, and in decent financial standing. I don't take any of that for granted but when I say I'm the most unfortunate man...It stems from the feeling of nothing going right, and the things I lack that others have.
Thanks for reading...I appreciate any comments
I was this way once, I don't know if it made me or broke me.
I don't look for 'love' anymore, it does not exist, so
I had to make her up in my own world, her name is Big Debbie
and she is absolutely beautiful and she loves me,
but don't try to look for her, you cannot see her
in the regular physical world, she has no social
security number, no birth certificate, and she
does not even have a surname. But she is
very real to me.
I don't look for a job in the physical world anymore,
there isn't one, other than the video editing I do
here on my mac, it is my own job, I am the boss
and CEO of my company, but I make only a few
dollars a month, but I can take a holiday whenever
I wish.
The only games I play are the ones I make up,
Pick The Boogar, Kittypuss comes home,
Mellomarshing Pillow Game, etc, because I
win every time, and nobody ever loses.
I don't have to be sad anymore, nobody can hurt
me in my playroom, they are not allowed in here.
zorry I am not being helpful
I am a poop. OI hope I did not say
anything hurtful I did not mean to
say it on purpose. I don't want to
hurt anyone who is nice.
_________________
A Boy And His Cat
When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.
This is called "being 18"
Most people go through something like this because 18 can be such a stressful and uncertain time in life, and because your brain is entering it's final stage of development.
Hang in there because it does pass.
Concerning girls. All you really have to say to them is "Hi." When a guy approaches a girl, says "Hi," and then appears at a lost of words, she generally knows he's interested in her, and if she is interested, she'll have patience with you, and won't expect you to talk about anything particularly deep for your first conversation.
At your age, it's actually okay to seem shy and nervous when talking to a girl as long as you actually can manage a few words to her. They think it's cute.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,586
Location: the island of defective toy santas
i can vouch for the fact that this method works. the inner world beats the stuffing out of the outer world anyday.
there isn't one, other than the video editing I do here on my mac, it is my own job, I am the boss and CEO of my company, but I make only a few dollars a month, but I can take a holiday whenever I wish.
wish i could do that, i.e., edit video and be useful.
hey, it works, and it IS helpful advice. to poster JP88, you are still young and have resources to help you. next time you have a bad thought, remember the phrase, "this too, shall pass away also."
Well it should be comforting to know that your not THE most unfortunate man...
I am 49 last year I was living on the street.
Good looking, Super talented, Super smart, Awesome humor,
and could be on the street in the near future if my latest brainstorm doesn't work out, no money, no insurance, very, very, very, (did I say very?) few friends.
and I am not even a bit afraid, devastated perhaps to think that a supposed human, with so much going for it? could be so inept and barren of life's benefits?
many of my past associates would joyfully and thankfully take one of my subjects of experience and be empowered the rest of their lives.
I am so horribly spoiled, my talents are so many and diversified, and I don't feel thankful anymore I don't care anymore.
Totally alone...
And bad luck...
I feel honestly that I have been cursed by something.
and like prize fighters, thankfully I guess, that I am not the most unfortunate one either.
I hope there is some one else, look for your self their are many here,
sick huh,
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,586
Location: the island of defective toy santas
At your age, it's actually okay to seem shy and nervous when talking to a girl as long as you actually can manage a few words to her. They think it's cute.
what about 22-23? at what age do girls/women seriously expect you to grow the f*** up?
I feel like my luck just sucks...plain and simple. It seems nothing ever goes right, in anything I do, whether it would be something stupid like playing a game or trying to do something serious (If you get what I mean) and I can never be positive...I know I have problems but I don't know how to fix it, like how to approach fixing it. I feel like a monster sometimes, I don't drink, smoke, or harm myself but I hit things and throw stuff and yell when I don't get my way...and recently it has been a common occurence.
I just want to be happy that's all...I've been questioning my faith lately and sometimes I just don't know if anyone is up there or if he's playing cruel games with me. I just wish I could see the light and turn my life around...I have great things in my life, like a family that cares, good health, and in decent financial standing. I don't take any of that for granted but when I say I'm the most unfortunate man...It stems from the feeling of nothing going right, and the things I lack that others have.
Thanks for reading...I appreciate any comments
At least you have a roof over your head, take note of what you have and work towards getting what you want and decide on what you really need. Deciding on what you really need
I had an a****** of a father who blew through all of his money and wrecked his business trying to keep his ungrateful useless manic depressive b**** of a wife (my mother) happy and left me and my other sibling penniless and without a home.
Needless to say, the ability to survive any situation is the highest value to have to me.
The most important thing you can do now, is to start developing yourself into a man.
I had to teach myself nearly everything about how to survive social situations (avoid running on about obsessive interests, appear normal, dress well), hold down a job, and defend myself (financially, socially, emotionally, and physically).
Ask yourself this:
If a zombie apocalypse happened overnight, are you ready for it?
I was the same at 18. Now I'm 33 and am still pretty much the same. Between then and now though there were some better times. Playing in a softball league is good, or bing a member of an art guild. I'm the quiet one but I'm there with a purpose. Ther's no way around it really. You have to have a "can do" attitude and start off small. I fell ass backward into situations in life where I accidentally proved to myself that I am able to be more sociable and happy then I ever allowed myself to believe. Unfortunatly I in a funk once again.
Thanks
I see a lot of myself 10 years ago in you. I used to be very mopey and desperately wanted to be loved until I found a hobby I truly loved (shooting) and the answer to my lack of a girlfriend (escorts).