My only Aspie friend has just been sent to prison.

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He was facing charges of causing death, serious harm and harm by dangerous driving, and on Tuesday morning Australian time was sentenced to 4 years, 2 months, with a non-parole period of 21 months. While I have a multitude of unpopular thoughts regarding the legal system, justice and prisons, this simple gesture, the imprisonment, is affecting me greatly. My empathy is in complete overdrive when it comes to him and his family, and since yesterday I've been haunted by what I witnessed at the courthouse. His sister crying, his father not speaking or moving, his mother nervously talkative, and all the other friend and relatives milling around outside the courtroom not knowing quite what to say to each other. When the sentence was read out, and that it wasn't to be suspended, a collective wave of nausea seemed to sweep the courtroom. It is pure, unadulterated horror what he is feeling right now, and I will never forget how fast those damn court security guards dragged him out of sight.

In person, he is quiet and shy. He doesn't know exactly what to say or when. It had made him something of an outcast his whole life. The night of the accident, he saw that his newly turbocharged car was a good way to show off and potentially make friends. He ignored his passengers pleas to stop, because he had it in his mind that he had to do something impressive. His attempt at winning over the respect of this group of very unenlightened people (which I am not a part of) backfired spectacularly. He must be feeling some measure of betrayal. His attempt at normality resulted in death.

He doesn't tell people many things important to him. He is completely introverted. He, with the advice of the barrister, managed to trick the psychologist into believing he felt remorse over the death, so that it would look better in court. Although the judge believed he felt remorse (which he didn't), that also meant that the defense of Asperger's was unacceptable, as they contradict each other. Asperger's was the explanation for his non-understanding of the risk involved, and the judge dismissed it, saying he had full understanding of what he was doing and the risks of doing so.

He is also very child-like. In one photograph of him leaving the courtroom, he is seen holding hands with his mother. His environment and circumstances are being threatened, and he seeks solace in his mother, who is the be-all and end-all of comfort. Perceiving him as a child, it is plainly evident how all those close to him believe that his imprisonment was absolutely the wrong course of action, and will serve no purpose but to harm him and his family, and to provide a momentary feeling of closure for the victim's family, who, if you'll read my blog entry, I believe don't deserve that kind of closure, particularly not if it harms another person.

Also haunting me is the notion that the only reason his sentence wasn't suspended is that "there is a need for general deterrence". The judge listed all his attributes in favour of suspension of the sentence, but concluded that the need to deter others from "offending" in the same way outweighed things such as his youth, psychological problems, previously clean record, contrition, full cooperation with the police, and guilty plea.

Overall, I have been on the verge of tears ever since that morning, as all I see is a boy who is confused and scared and wants to hold his mother’s hand, but who instead is being led in handcuffs to a prison cell, with prison guards of dubious intentions cruelly replacing the warmth of his mother’s embrace. As a friend to him, and as a person with similar psychological circumstances, I can see that it is absolutely terrifying, devastating and heart-breaking for him, for me, and for his family.

I feel so helpless. There is an atrocity occurring and I can't do anything to stop it.

After I read that, the only though I had was "Saw it coming".

You have suffered a significant loss, knowing that your relationship with your friend will be curtailed for at least the better part of two years. You will, understandably, feel grief for this.

But try not let your grief colour your view of the criminal justice and the corrections systems. The law has an obligation not only to the accused, but to the community as well. While the guards may appear to be cold and unfeeling, the corrections system has resources available for inmates with particular needs, including psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors.

Though things seem bleak now, I hope that in the fullness of time you will have the opportunity to see that the punishment for his offence can still balance the competing interests of the community and his particular needs.

Saw what coming?

this is to be said of 80% of the 'criminals' out there, Squidward. I am sorry it has happened to your friend.

that said, I have to opine that we can't have it both ways. We can't be exceptioned as 'abnormal' and still be allowed to attempt 'normal' things. Either have the priviledge driving super charged turbo cars trying to impress the clueless we chose to associate with (and do the time if we try it and it doesn't work out well for us.) Or we are prohibited by our 'mental deficiency' to even try. We can't have it both ways.

Before diagnosis, I was in jail a few times, with no extenuating circumstances. Now, after diagnosis, I have no illusions that I would be granted any leaway as to my mental condition. I am just as scared, just as helpess and crushed just as brutially shapeless by life as anyone, I suppose.

I am so sorry it happened to so many loving people, Squidward

Merle

It is difficult to accept that your friend has to go to prison, and it is natural for you to feel it is bad for him. However, according to your blog he was driving way too fast, and no matter his reasons, he knew what he was doing. To argue that he did not, means that he was mentally incompetent and could not be allowed to make decisions on his own. That might be worse than a jail sentence.

The members of his family are victims of what he has done, they will have to live with the loss of him for the rest of their lives, and you write that he does not feel any remorse. No matter how great a friend and human being he is, it is difficult to see how he should get off without a prison sentence.

My advice to you is to support him as best as you can during his stay in prison, and to help him to accept his sentence as a just consequence of what he has done. I believe it is, and it is easier for him to accept his situation and learn from it, if he believes it is his own responsibility and not the consequence of a mistrial.

I'm sorry for your friend, but 21 months is quite short considering he killed someone. The victim's family will never see their son or daughter again.

Hopefully you can visit him in prison.

"f**k, there goes your life."

I'm going to see him when I can, but I'm not going to try and convince him that he's there as a consequence of his own actions, because I don't believe he is. As far as I'm concerned, if you don't want to do something or be somewhere, but you are, then you're being forced against your will. His imprisonment does not stem from his actions, but rather the judge's actions.

The worst part of it is not the prison time but the fact that he will be treated as a second class citizen once he get out.

I'm not religious, but you have my 'prayers' that your friend and you come through this experience without too much damage.

For a brief time when I was about 20 I had a fast car, and did some reckless things. But no one got hurt. Was I wiser? I think probably not; I think I was just lucky.

So he killed someone by dangerous driving?

You reap....

What type of facility is your friend being sentenced to be confined? By that I mean, will he be forced into being exposed to interaction with other inmates, because he sounds like someone who could be vulnerable in some settings.

What type of facility is your friend being sentenced to be confined? By that I mean, will he be forced into being exposed to interaction with other inmates, because he sounds like someone who could be vulnerable in some settings.

I have not let this cloud my view on the criminal justice and corrections systems. My unpopular view on these things prompted me to take an interest in his case in the first place. It was only after this that I started chatting to him and became friends with him.



It's simply a crying shame that we don't fit. We don't ask to be Autistic. Homosexuals don't ask to be homosexual. Paedophiles don't ask to be paedophiles. Serial killers don't ask for their murderous urges. It's a shame that people are stigmatized, victimized and persecuted for something they had absolutely no control over. Why should people who can't help but to be or feel a certain way be met with punishment from the justice system by the same standards as all those who don't possess a psychological abnormality?



This is not lost on me at all. My brain has forced me to see all the bad things in this situation, and they just keep piling on. His 17-year-old sister is traumatized. His grandmother might not be alive by the time he gets out. He’ll have to try to reclaim his life, with extreme difficulty, as the world will have moved on from the time he went in. In prison he’ll cop all manner of abuse and aggression. An acquaintance I chat to was “kind” enough to remind me of anal rape.

Oh, well, I can’t say anything, because it’s all in the name of justice, after all, of course.



Thank you.

You were lucky, and he was unlucky. He’s being punished for bad luck. They seem to hate unlucky people. It’s as though they seem to think bad luck will seep through to the rest of society, so they lock the unlucky people up in an unlucky people colony.



You reap what you sow. Yeah, that analogy is just GREAT.

There is no such thing as a criminal, there is no such thing as a crime, there is no such thing as justice, there is no such thing as retribution.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.



It’s a minimum security prison in the country. It’s a farming prison, so it looks like he’s going to be forced into manual labour.

He will be vulnerable, and as far as I know he will be in close proximity to everyone else. I fear that his lack of social skills will lead someone to think he is ignoring/spiting them, and troubles will escalate.

I don't understand what you mean.

He killed someone by dangerous driving. That's the bottom line. He didn't intend to kill someone (I'm betting), but he is still responsible for the death of an innocent by driving unsafely; the reason why there's laws on the road. It's not unreasonable to see that driving unsafely can cause serious harm or death, and the individual in question would have the mental faculties to understand this.

It'd be the same thing as me putting a target in front of someones house [on my property] and shooting at it. One can expect that serious harm or death would come from this. If I did, then I'd accept responsibility for the stupidity of it.

you know, squidward, I am starting to notice a trend, here, in your replies and now that I look at it, in your original post.

Are you a 'concern troll?' By this, I mean you are really not making a lot of sense about accepting responsibility for one's own actions, but are rather swept away by the idea that total chaos should ensue because "people didn't want to be born that way" and then, by your reasoning, should not be removed by society because they 'couldn't help it' and shouldn't be judged by other criteria than what they can control themselves from doing.

Are you looking for someone to say that people with Autism or AS should be able to make mistakes and not be responsible for them?