Should I keep my mouth shut?

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Peko
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10 Jun 2010, 5:45 pm

For the past 5-6 years my 2 moms have been together my bio-mom's partner has gone through these really weird mood swings every few months & has sometimes caused public spectacles due to day to day triggers like buying groceries or something my brother or I do or say. Its getting ridiculous & I suggested therapy to my mom but she's not in2 the idea. Based on my stepmom's background she had a very hard life & I'm 99.999+% certain she has PTSD and depression. But I did some research & if I knew more about how she was while I was away at college I would have a better idea about my next theory. I'm very concerned she may have Bipolar 2 or (more likely by my hypothesis) Cyclothymia (Bipolar 3). I have 7-8 + links of research including DSM links. I know I'm not a doctor and could be totally off the wall, but should I tell my bio-mother my concerns? The situation at home drains all of us including my 2 teenage siblings... *sigh. I know we'd need to get in contact with a legitimate doctor/psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. My stepmom will DEFINITELY be pissed at me if I say something b/c she will think I'm accusing her of being (as she puts it when describing (playfully & nastily depending on the say) "defective", etc. I would think this is NOMDB but I this is my stepmom, I live at home with my family during summer & breaks & my biomom & sibs + stepmom have to cope what comes out of her issues (which have included screaming, shutting us out, crying & running away). Also, their are communication problems due to my stepmom coming from another country and miscommunication is one of the most common triggers (in very random ways). We never really know what will be said/done to cause the next episode. (They last anywhere from 1 day to a week or so approx.)

p.s. This is the best description I can give. I know its biased but I have no way of understanding my stepmom's perspective.


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LadybugQ
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10 Jun 2010, 6:58 pm

Say something to your mother! Get a doctor involved, if at all possible. Then, if nothing proves fruitful, step away from it and be in charge of your own life.


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conundrum
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11 Jun 2010, 2:31 am

LadybugQ wrote:
Say something to your mother! Get a doctor involved, if at all possible. Then, if nothing proves fruitful, step away from it and be in charge of your own life.


I agree. If you have to live with this at all, it is very much your business. You are over 18 and not a child--you have every right (and possibly duty--this sounds like an abusive situation) to at least try to do something.

From what you described of your stepmom's behavior, I would say your diagnoses/opinions sound pretty close to the mark--but yes, get a professional involved.

Good luck, take care, let us know how things go.


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Peko
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11 Jun 2010, 10:40 am

I'm going to say something as soon as I can talk to my bio mom alone (probably dinner with the way things are going). The thing is my hypothesis could be totally wrong due to my stepmom's past affecting her (I think it skews what criteria can fit in her case for the bipolar type disorders). I also tried to mention this to my one friend who is a psych major & is good at figuring out how to approach delicate topics (but he never got back to me). Thing is if she doesn't count as at least mild PTSD & depression (the depression I'm almost certain is known) I'd be in shock... But when her moods aren't shifting, she's perfectly fine. (This is officially day 4 of the weird depressed/irritable/leave me alone mood) I'm expecting her to say we can't really do anything b/c this is her life partner & she does not want to further alienate her. This is why I sent a message to my friend b/c I want an opinion on what my sibs in particular (their teenagers, hormones + this = NOT GOOD) can do to cope... I'd suggest a "How to deal with a (insert condition) (relative)" type book but we'd need a general guess on what's going on b4 we could do anything.


_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.