Feeling up, plateau, descending into the valley

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Hello-

I was doing very well, working out and going to meet people. Then there were events in my life that completely changed my routine. I was with family and in my brother's wedding. I handled the hectic pace, the completely different environment across North America very well. I have returned exactly one week ago, and then the depression sunk in, like a long plane landing that goes on for days. As you get closer to the ground, the depression and associated nightmares get worse. 18 months of therapy and changing my medications six times, and here I go again, again, and again. 4th of July here in USA, and the parade will start soon, looks like I will be on the suicide prevention line while others are celebrating. 4th of July use to be family time, shooting off fireworks. Now they are illegal for us ordinary people to shoot off. I last joined the festivities two years ago, and it was a bad experience. I live over 900 miles from my family by air. I cannot get out of this place except by air or boat, no road. People take really good care of me in this town, but after all that quality time with family, it's hard. I could not replicate the care where my family is in Seattle. I thought I was making so much progress.

I think it's always difficult to come down after a whirlwind of events and emotions. Try to give yourself break, take as much calm downtime as you can. Give yourself time to recuperate.