life just isn't worth it

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Excuse my profanity.

I f**k up everything. First my girlfriend now is mad because she thinks that I told my mom that she has HPV, when I never did. I was merely printing things off about it so her and I could learn more about it. Now my low-self esteem is kicking in and telling me she's going to dump me, and I'll never find anyone who understands me and my problems like her. Secondly my mom has told me that I'm stupid because I trust my girlfriend enough to have unprotected sex with her. Thirdly My ex-girlfriend, who unfortunately still works with my mom has decided to refer to me by girl names, which really pisses me off.

I just feel like life is not worth it anymore. There's too much sh*t to deal with, and I can't handle it. No one understands why I just don't really care about my niece's stupid 5th birthday, or why I didn't cry when I had to help my ex bring her dying dog to the vet to be put down.

I just feel like no one wants me around. Only my girlfriend even shows that she cares about me but now she's mad at me so it feels like no one cares about me. No one understands that I just have to do things a little different, or that I just need a little attention now and then, like a "how was your day" or even a simple f*cking "love you."

Why so serious?

Well, I'd ask "how was your day," but the answer is painfully obvious.

I'm sorry all this s**t is happening to you (don't worry about the profanity--sometimes there's just no other way to say it).

I hope this passes and you feel better, soon. In the meantime, will your gf listen to you if you explain that the whole thing was a misunderstanding? IMO, you're very smart to want to be informed about HPV. Your mom is not giving you enough credit.

As for your ex--well, I won't say something dumb like "ignore it," because I know that never works and I'm not going to insult your intelligence. I wish there was something constructive I could say.

That's what we're all here for.

Take care.

Wow. Your situation sounds crappy right now. Any one of those problems would be enough to really sink me. You are doing well to come to this board and ask for help. I don't have any advice really, except for something I only very recently figured out--you can't be responsible for making everyone else happy. Some of the people who are hassling you are asking just that. I tried for so long, feeling responsible for other people's emotions. But its impossible to do, isn't it? Hang in there (sorry for the cliche)

Well you are worrying about what is generally "small beans". Your negative emotions right now are likely due in part to hormones, as you are young and it's very easy for the world to look very bleak at your age due to the presence of these hormones and changes going on in your brain as it enters into the last stage of it's developmental process. Don't think this all won't pass in time and you won't even remember it as anything significant in the futue.

However there are some things you said which might be something to examine.

Consider that you said this.....

And this.....



In the second quote you make various comments which indicate you do not feel others have enough understanding of you, and express adequate compassion towards you.

Yet in the first quote you demonstrate an inability to understand others and express what they might deem adequate compassion towards them.

You do not give that which you seek.

You already insist that the difficulties in your life are caused by your own short comings, and with people with AS, that is generally true, but we also serve an important purpose in life, and have many positive qualities, so while you should acknowledge your short comings, you should not think that they entirely define you.

Concerning your short comings, since you have recognized them you should work to minimize them.

I do my best to take the time to try and understand others. I try not to act immediately and I make an attempt to analyze any behavior which is confusing to me. I consider what they say and attempt to understand why they might be upset with something, why they might treat me a certain way, and so on.

People want you to care about your niece's birthday because it is an important event to her, and to those around her. They want you to share in the positive emotions of this occasion and recognize the emotional significance it has to others. It has the same significance to others as someone saying "I love you" has to you.

Concerning safe sex. It is stupid to have unprotected sex with someone. It's not a matter of trust. A person can have an STD and not know it. A person can have an STD without ever having been sexually active. You can also impregnate her, which can prove to be a difficult situation even if you both have made an agreement before hand what would be done in that case.

And so what that your ex-girlfriend calls you by girl names. Obviously she is the one with issues because she can't let an old relationship die while you have moved on.

As for your current girlfriend. Tell her the truth and hope she accepts it. Maybe send her some flowers in a vase. Have them delivered so she can't throw them at you.

I can't tell you what's going on inside your girlfriend's or mom's heads, nor can I tell you which if any of the few hundred or so strains of HPV either of them may be infected with. However, I can tell you that a vaccine is now available for men which protects against infection and disease caused by the worst and most dangerous strains of HPV which cause nasty painful warts and cancer.

I would recommend getting the vaccine if you plan on being sexually active, even if you don't suspect anyone you'll touch of having HPV because most become infected with HPV without ever knowing, and usually a person's immune system clears the virus, but sometimes a lingering infection can cause cancer.

Don't smoke, either, because if you smoke, your immune system will put up a weaker response to the vaccine if you get it and your immune system will also be less likely to clear an HPV virus if you become infected. By getting the vaccine, you'll have some protection against a nasty infection without having to get into trust issues or what your mom and girlfriend have to say to/about each other.

put a smile on every thing will get better.

I recommend you try to stop caring so much. I have made that mistake countless times before.