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I'll try to be brief but I just discovered karma hates me

I was trying to be nice to my grandparents by going to dinner wit them b/c I'm alone & their dog just died... but my g-mom decided to bring up my father (POOR TOPIC). To make it brief, he doesn't give a "rat's ***" about me or my brother, lies about his taxes, neglected & scared us (left me & the toddler alone on a farm/in stores & him & his dad found my autistic symptoms to be... let's just say amusing) . So the only time he'd value either of us is if he could get money out of us (however he could... honestly not sure how far he'd go) or find a way to get out of the bit of child support he pays (diddly squat). I don't care what he thinks of me or my family's life but I never fully got over this paranoia that he might come back if he believes can find a way to get money from us w/o getting in trouble wit the law... only reason he was willing to cut contact was fear my mom would go to court & reveal how his gf was sucking money out of her ex & stuff like that cause me & my brother saw where they lived when we visited. So, karma wasn't goin in me favor today.

Sorry, needed to rant

It's all good Peko. Money tends to cause so many problems. Personally any extra I ever have I try to help better other peoples lives.

You shouldn't go.Tell your grandparents politely about it,that you still like them,and its just because your dad is here.Also,you can tell your daddy to go f*** himself for what he did to you,but you should still stay polite with your grandparents and tell them to not take it personnaly...

Karma won't go your way while you hold onto all that hostility and resentment.

You create your own Karma. You (and your life) can be full of anger and negative judgment, or forgiveness and love. Your choice.

My dad is no longer in my life, but my grandparents randomly brought him up tonight.

You are absolutely right. I think the main reason I'm holding onto the hostility towards my father is the emotional damage he did to my brother (he's jealous of me b/c I got his attention... even though it was b/c I caused him problems). I kinda got stuck making sure my brother was safe when our dad was around as a kid, so I developed a strange protectiveness of my brother & he has of me as well. I was also pissed b/c my grandparents have an issue w/ my brother not having a "father figure"... geeze, in this case he's better off. I have college guy buddies who would be healthier older brother/ semi-father figures for him (especially if I got one to volunteer). I'd be able to let go if their was a way my brother would no longer be affected by this crap... cause I always have to clean up the mess when he or my younger sis get upset about the dad issue (she's got a different dad/confusing situation). If I'd totally let go (which would be healthy) and either younger sibling would have another issue due to the dad issue we're screwed.

p.s Willard, did you mean my neg. energy towards my father, grandparents or both?