Ok, so i'll start at the beginning of all this.
I have been communicating with my mom for the fist time in many years. She wants me to spend time with her, which I have been doing. Things at my home, where I have been living were not going so great. My aunt is thinking that it's some kind of game when it comes to me and my mom. She thinks I have to pick sides between her and my mom. Yes, the reason why I haven't been with her is because she had some issues with alcohol. Other than that, everything was fine. She likes to feed me lies about all of this s**t that my mom does, and it drives me crazy, I don't want to hear about it. My aunt has physically punished me very harshly, or should I say abused. Also mentally. And she says I abuse her? Maybe I'm defiant, I don't do any after school activities, I make wrong choices, ect. But, does that mean you give up on parenting me? No. She has sent my mom nasty emails and I can't take it anymore.
I'll quote her on some on the things she wrote in the email. I'll keep it appropriate.
This is her
"No therapist has ever been able to make a difference, one of which stated point-blank, " I can't help them."
"
I have been physically attacked by Kai where restraint was in need."
Yes, I did. Because she never took the time to understand me, and she kept pushing my buttons.
" When a teenager threatens you physically, then talks about killing himself and starts punching holes in walls and locking himself in bathrooms where he has medicine, doors are bound to be kicked in."
Never had medicine in there. I just wanted to be left alone and try to calm down.
"Not to mention, the countless times the police have been called, they always ask, "how is their mom doing? No offense, but she was a real whack ado"! Yeah, ***** police are all very familiar with you and it's amazing that when I get pulled over for speeding in *****, they always let me go because they know you and always send their condolences for mom...and you."
" Giving them the best of the best. In turn, this side of my family has turned on me. The one who tried to maintain stability in this home. Instead, your kids...yours, have put us through a true living hell. You'll never know the severity of it considering you were ABSENT most of their lives. You will never know! You will never know the amount of death threats we got from Kai's friends, the ones who scoped out our home to rob. The friends who tried to sell firearms to him, along with heroine. You will never know the amount of harassment we went through because of YOUR children, the ones YOU failed. "
Wow, I'm doing heroin and buying guns, I rob people houses, and my friends make death threats. Total BS right there. Can't even begin, this makes me so angry on sooo many levels.
"You know what the result of all this has caused? I know suffer from severe and debilitating panic attacks. To the point where I am not sure if I am having a heart attack. I go days without eating or sleeping from fear that Kai will appear in the middle of the night to cause harm to dad or ******."
Yea, I'm going to walk 20 miles to do that? GTFO.
" Making sure they emotionally and physically taken care of."
This is the sentence that makes me the angriest.
S**t hit the fan when my bro had to get a blood test for lyme. She tore all of our pictures down and smashed them. Told my bro to pack all of our s**t and leave.
I hate her.
Anyone have anything that could help me mentally cool down and stay calm, anytime I think of anything about her and this situation, I want to explode in rage.
Thanks in advanced.
I don't feel like elaborating anymore, I'm about to punch a wall.
29 Jul 2010, 8:17 pm
