A very wet face day!

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Done a lot of crying today. It's too difficult to explain why, on another level - I'm not sure if I even know why.
Relationship difficulties mostly I guess. Family, friends, partners (or ex's as it stands).
I just want to have that bond that NTs seem to have with each other - I feel like I'm missing out on something that happens like magic - and that magic just doesn't exist in my life - do you know what I mean?
And technically speaking - without a diagnosis - I walk among NTs as an NT - but I just don't have the fairy dust. Why? I love fairies! Why can't I have the magic of social understanding and connection?

Damn it! - damn it all!!
I just want some real love

I agree with you, it hurts like hell to experience the kind of emotional pain like what you're feeling right now.

However, not all NT's have the "magic" of getting it right when it comes to relationships. I won't quote the truism about the divorce rate among marriages - I will offer the example of my VERY NT brother who got married after about five or six long-term relationships were dissolved by him and the woman he was involved with.

Small comfort, I know, but NT's don't get it right the first time either.

I wish you peace and hope you feel better soon!

It sounds like you're clinically depressed. I used to have down days when I would feel really low and cry over nothing specific. Just remember that it can go away on its own, and you probably will not feel this way forever.

Also, I think it's a fallacy to blame it entirely on the difference between NTs and Aspies, as plenty of NTs have just as many problems and get just as depressed.

I used to feel the same way. I didn't have any friends, until 1998. I was never really into intimacy, but it was nice to have friends, for the first time in my life. Friends who accepted me, as I am.

I hope that you find the friendships, and that relationship, that you've been pining for, soon.

s**t, It makes me feel the same.
I want that connection they share...somehow they manage to just...take everyone I like from me as well.

But, dear aspie wrote an article on this...you should check it out...helped me

Whether I reach out - looking for something/someone
or
Reach in - trying to find something in me

I just can't find anything - I can't find meaning

What can I do to make me like being me?
What can I do to stop feeling wierd?
What can I do that means anything to anyone?

I don't want to be an undiagnosed wierdo!