What does it mean to be "empty"?

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I'd like to know what it is. Supposedly, a chronic feeling of emptiness is one of the symptoms of BPD, but I'm not entirely sure what it means.

Does it mean to be devoid of emotion inside and hunger for things that make one feel (like a relationship etc)?

I don't know. Can anyone please help?

It's like you feel that a part of you is suddenly missing. I have felt that way when someone very close to me, someone who is a big part of my life is suddenly gone, and you feel as though a part of you went with it and you will never be quite the same. It's profound sadness and a sense of loss. It's a sucky emotion to feel and it can make me physically sick. I think I would rather feel ANYTHING but that.

it is also a hollow...something within me is missing feeling. What creates this feeling as far as brain chemistry I dont know. I felt that way during a deep double depression and it feels like your chest area...something in the soul is missing or hollow. Terrible feeling...seemingly inescapable....but for me it went away once the depression lifted.

It's tough one. Sometimes "empty" is the only word I can use to describe how I feel when I'm depressed. I'm not really sad and often there isn't anything in particular that's bothering me. It's just an insatiable intolerable void. It always seems to grow out of boredom, but it's a separate feeling from mere boredom.

I am, empty, more often than not.

I just don't feel connected to anything. even friends, family, when we are all haging out and having a good time it usually hits me at some point than everyone else is feeling something I'm not.

Also, I seem like I'm connected sometimes but then I realize it's just not the same way that other people are. I may say something that other people find HILARIOUS or unexpected but to me it seems pretty normal, you know? I'm just not tuned in with other people enough most of time to feel like I'm connected to what's going on or be able to anticipate people's reactions.

IDK if it's truly emptiness, I'm just more in tune with information and other things in my surroundings than my emotions/other people. To me it would seem normal if I didn't know that most people are just more interested in each other, rather than processing all of the details around them.

I think in the context of BPD these people are feeling emotionally empty and are constantly seeking out ways to fill the void, I don't think it feels normal for them.

Are they consciously seeking out ways though? I'm just wondering if there is any correlation between feeling empty and becoming obsessed with people (even in a one sided/parasocial way, and not in an AS special interest sense either). Feeling empty means I'm more likely to subconsciously fill the emptiness by becoming obsessed?

From what I've read they have turbulent relationships with people and a chronic fear of abandonment, so that could be part of it. They may get obsessed with others to fill the void from being hurt in the past?

I knew a lot of AS women get misdiagnosed with BPD. I was, I know it's just not me. Even at 18 I knew, TBH I'm not sure how I got the DX, I never displayed a lot of the behaviors, I think I sometimes misrepresent myself to psychiatrists, and I as a teenager I was quite a bit more outlandish in my ways. I'm usually not very concerned about how I portray myself, but I've realized that's it more important as I've gotten older.

The two can look very similar but the causes are totally different. Most of the behaviors of BPD seem to be EMOTIONALLY motivated, and they are usually very reactive people. IDK if they would be doing it consciously, though. They may not realize it. I mean it would be a pretty normal thing for people who are more impacted by their emotions to do.

Last edited by MotownDangerPants on 29 Jul 2010, 9:28 am, edited 2 times in total.

That's a toughie, too. IDK, it could go either way but that sounds more like Aspie-ish behavior to me. I really think in BPD their behavior is more of a product of what has happened in their pasts, they have herd time letting go of those things,

Exactly, this is why therapy never worked for me lol. There IS nothing that I'm particularly upset about, that I haven't already processed. i process all of those things on my own, but I'm still *empty*. There was never an AHA MOMENT.

My biggest aha moment was finding out about AS, and being floored by how much of my life it explains.

I know how you feel, I go through the same things. Therapy is fine for some things, but unfortunately we're left to find it in ourselves to build up out of that void. My personal way of getting out of it is finding small things to enjoy, even something as simple as having a favorite snack, or watching a movie I really like.
Small goals, basically. I'm not saying it works all the time, but it's worth a shot.

*Edited because my kitten stepped on my keyboard. Bah!

I know this feeling very well, although I don't feel it right now. I know it as a feeling of grief and also as a physical sensation in the solar plexus. There's probably a number of factors that go into it including brain chemistry. Antidepressants helped me some but also I think I have changed my expectations of life. I'm not a practicing Buddhist but reading about a more Eastern perspective gave me the sense that I'm just here for the ride,as Willard says. The point of existence is to experience it and learn what you can. As far as experience goes, stop and think about how much of your thought processes go into thinking about either the past or the future. Try to experience where you are this very moment for it's sensations only and leave the cognitive editorializing aside for a moment. Of course "living in the moment" isn't very practical for all the time, but we drain ourselves I think when we spend so much time thinking about things we can't act on at that moment and forget to experience what's happening right now.
My 12 year old son told me recently that he felt "empty"

I think there's more of a correlation between feeling empty and engaging in addictions or doing risky things. I suppose an obsession can be similar to an addiction. In either case the person is seeking stimulation because a lack of stimulation is painful.

Is it always an irrational fear of being abandoned? I know the criteria for BPD says "frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment". I guess it all depends on how someone reacts to the fear? I know I've threatened to hurt myself when people were really abandoning me, but the desire to hurt myself because they were leaving was really there. Is that indicative of BPD?

I assumed empty meant emotionally bored; not in a relationship (or in a loveless one), distant from family perhaps, minimal social contact. Nothing going on in life that makes you feel anything good or bad. I've realised most of my obsessions came at times like these. Maybe it's just due to my social difficulties that I'm unable to find myself in a happy two-sided relationship, and resort to one-sided obsessions to substitute? All but one person I was obsessed with even knew I was. I don't like having them, they make my anxiety worse for some reason. I've even had them while I was in a relationship (I guess that meant I felt nothing for him anymore when that happened? He wasn't fulfilling me?). I have a problem with getting obsessed with emotionally intense people, or people who stand out in some way.
I don't know whether they're an AS obsession thing or a symptom of something deep rooted inside.

If you're interested, this is a pretty good forum for info on BPD from people who have it...

http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/

To me it seems like a lot of variations exist, or at least there's a wide range of problems that can lead to a BPD diagnosis.

I don't know if I have BPD or not. Maybe I'm just a sensitive person with low self-esteem who went through a complete mind f**k?

I don't know anymore

So sorry. I don't know either regarding myself. I wonder if not being able to handle disappointment is related to autism/AS in any way. I don't ever understand how NTs seem to be able to just "get over it" and keep moving in life when something goes wrong. I feel like I'm always on the very brink. The smallest thing goes wrong and it's like the fly in the ointment. I feel like exploding and breaking things. And if I try to temper down my passion in order to avoid disappointment I'll be so depressed I hardly have the energy to do anything at all.