ive been depressed and this isnt helping

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i was depressed already and my diagnosis is nto helping, i feel like i may go in a deeper depression because of this. The meds they have me on make me feel physically better than ever but doing nothing all day long leaves me a lot of time to ponder.

Sorry to hear.

I'm a big library supporter...do you have a public library you can hook up with for books and DVDs? This might give your brain something to do besides ponder.

I'll watch this thread to see if I can help you more as we get to know you. WP is a good place.

It's not an unusual reaction to have mixed feelings about the diagnosis for a while. I did, and I sought the diagnosis out intentionally.

It was, on one hand, good to know that my quirks, eccentricities and problems functioning through life were not just flaws in me as an individual, but a neurological condition that was ultimately nobody's fault. On the other, there was the cold realization that because it was an atypical neurological condition, it wasn't going away or likely to change much at all, ever. Well, I had pretty much come to that conclusion years ago, still it was just plain weird to think of myself as 'handicapped' or 'disabled' when I'd spent so many years with everybody around me insisting that there was nothing wrong with me and I could do anything they did if I just tried harder.

I didn't really need a psychologist to tell me that that was BS, and at least now I'm somewhat vindicated for all the years I tried to tell parents, employers and SOs, 'Sorry, I can't do that - I don't know why, I just can't' And as I obsessively learned more about AS, I'm coming to better understand what's happening when those situations occur. Doesn't prevent them from happening, but now at least I kinda know what's happening.

And while I've got plenty of things in my life to bring me down - way down - and hold me under for extended periods, the disorder itself isn't one of those things. For all my Aspergian shortcomings, I have my intelligence - that's more than most of the more neurotypical people I know can say. Well, they might say it, but they'd be kidding themselves. Right now, my biggest obstacle isn't AS so much as it is discrimination against that disability and the lack of motivated people willing to advocate on our behalf, so I'm concentrating on trying to find ways in which I can help make AS and HFA understandable and accepted. When knowledge about AS is as commonly understood as Dyslexia is now, maybe people will stop telling us we're just making excuses when we tell them we can't do something. Cause I swear, if one more person tells me I'm 'just shy', so help me...

Hmm. Can you find something to do? Do you have a hobby?

This too shall pass.