heheh...just the same as the others here...

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right-hand-child
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 11 May 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 221

21 Sep 2010, 2:26 pm

as ya could have guessed, i have pretty much the same problem as most of the people worry about on this site; my creepiness is getting to me, to the point where find myself thinking to myself "dont even bother trying to make friends with this guy/girl. you'll only screw everything up completely you awkward degenerate nobody."

people have told me i look like a serial killer. even when i just sit there vacantly, not staring at anyone or anything. i geuss thats kind of creepy.

i know posting here wont cure depression, and i sort of feel selfish posting something like this when everyone else here has s*** ten times worse going on in their lives but...i have to share it somewhere, if i dont get this out somewhere I'll be overloaded with my own doubts and go even more insane than i already am...

even most NTs tell me im too self-conscious (i sort of know i am and i constantly find myself worrying about things like whether my bald patch in the centre of my head will be huge by the time im 25 or whether my teeth are horribly disgusting) but i cant stop worrying about it, i cant stop worrying about stupid things like this. i walk through the street and find myself thinking "ughh...disgusting, you're just too disgusting for words. get back in your cave, disgusting creep" (just for your reference, i brush my teth twice a day, floss, take showers etc. etc. i am not a hobo etc...)

im worried I'll continue down this road, for instance at lunchtimes at my six form i just sit alone all the time. im worried ill have no friends when im older and ill just end up getting up, going to work and going back for the rest of my life, never talking to anyone except my boss and my colleges if they needed anything, as if i were never there in the first place. if thats the kind of life im going to have then screw it. there are a lot of tall estates where i live...if i did that then id never have to worry about anything like this eeeeeeever again. it would be like sleeping forever. just nothing.


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Jookia
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

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Joined: 7 Jan 2007
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 410

21 Sep 2010, 3:07 pm

right-hand-child wrote:
i know posting here wont cure depression, and i sort of feel selfish posting something like this when everyone else here has s*** ten times worse going on in their lives but...i have to share it somewhere, if i dont get this out somewhere I'll be overloaded with my own doubts and go even more insane than i already am...


I'm a regular here (pathetic, I know) and I feel exactly the same way.

I'm not sure how to reply to your message, but I'll say this: People are stupid, they don't care about a person. You can walk through a crowd looking like a zombie and people will just walk past you and go on with their life.