tired of life

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I'm just sick of it. I'm tired of people playing games, and I'm tired of not being able to read people, so I either misread them and they take advantage of it, or I misread them, and overreact about "spilled milk." I'm tired of thinking all of the time, and thinking about things that don't even need to be thought about.

I'm tired of not having a job, I'm tired of always going to an interview and wondering why they didn't hire me when everything went okay. Even for a position that I am qualified for (2 years experience, 1 year with the company) they still don't hire me.

I'm tired of living at home. I know this is best if I want to finish school, so that I don't have to worry about bills or anything, but socially it doesn't really look good if you're 21, no job, and you live in your parents basement.

I had found the most wonderful girl ever, and she is amazing. But I'm not even sure where we stand anymore. I mean, she said that she wanted to take a break, and I said that was okay. Everyone needs some time sometimes. But now I don't even know if we're completely broken up or just on hiatus. She's met some other guy already (after she said she loved me 3 days ago, and we "broke up" 2 days ago), however I don't know if she's like "head over heels" with him, or if he's just interesting and a possible candidate.

I hate not having any friends who "hang out." I mean I have tons of friends from high school and college on facebook, but none that I know that are really close to me or anything. She is my best friend still, but I don't know...it's hard to describe being depressed because I need to fill my life with something, I don't want to just sit around on the computer all day. But then I don't have any money, so what am I going to do?

There was a 500 foot water slide in Grand Rapids this past weekend, but if I went, I'd be going alone as she was busy, and then that's just even more depressing going by myself.

I guess life is just too depressing. But I could never commit suicide. My ex/girlfriend is suicidal, plus my dad committed suicide 10 years ago. I know she still loves me a lot, and so I could never hurt her or my mom like that.

Wanna trade?

as being similar of age, I'd like say that it isn't over and we each got a few more good years, I think its possible to change things around, its not too late. we're pretty much in the same boat, except I quit my job a little over 2 years ago and haven't found a job yet.. I quit. on the job and in my personal life, if you never quit like me, then at least you dont have to feel bad because you gave up on yourself or lost all faith in being a man.

I've done that to every job I ever had, I don't know the proper time to bow out, so I stay until I can't stand it, and walk out...I just quit showing up to my last job of 9 years a month ago.

I felt that same way, when I was your age. The issues were different, and unique to me, but I did feel the same way. It will get better.

I'm in my 40s and although I've finished school and have a good job, the interpersonal sh*t hasn't got any better whatsoever. I have lost all hope it ever will. I hope it does for you, though. Maybe being younger, and knowing you have AS at a younger age, you won't waste as many years of your life as I did trying to be something you're not (NT) and failing miserably...and maybe you will find relationships with those like yourself rather than beating up on yourself as I did for not being able to make it work with an NT spouse. I wish you luck. I have more hope for those younger than myself. For me, not so much.

~Kate