I think i'm the only depressed person my age...

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I'm 11 years old, and i'm in Grade 6. I would post this in the kids crater, but it seems there are no topics related to depression and other things. I was diagnosed with AS when i was roughly 9. I know I am the most depressed person in my school. I'm overweight and don't excercise much.. I take medication (Fluoxetine a.k.a prozac) but I don't even know if it works anymore. I'm average at most subjects and below average in some subjects in school.
All my friends (of which I have only 1 good one) are so much happier and better at everything. My parents have sometimes help me, and sometimes hurt me, usually just making it worse. I don't know what to do. At some points, I just wish I didn't exist. I think I need help. I don't know what the hell to do with my life.

I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 7, then asperger's when I was 9.

Hi Lakelly.

Gosh, I hope this doesn't turn into a "I'm more depressed than you" thread.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It seems that part of your depression is comparing yourself to other people, imagining that because they're doing better academically than you they are somehow better than you. That's not the case.

People with asperger's traits mature at different rates from neurotypicals. That can affect learning. Also, being in an environment where there is too much going on can get in the way of learning. My son for example got an average report card back from school, yet things which he learns on his own he's phenomenal at. He simply switches off at school, because the environment overstimulates him, and the only way not to melt down is to switch his brain off. This could well be the same survival mechanism you are using.

Also, being depressed has a strong impact on learning. I would seriously consider going back to your doctor and explaining how bad you feel, and that you're not sure about the medications. Your parents need to start listening to you... perhaps family therapy would help.

Again, I'm sorry you're going through this. You don't say whether you're male or female? Also, I live in England, so I can't guess your age from your being in Grade 6, we have a different system here.

Look after yourself, if you ever need to vent then please use this forum. Not everyone is going to want to one up you with comments like "well, I was depressed much younger than you!" Some of us really do want to help.

Looking back, they estimate that I began to be depressed at age two. Depression doesn't always have to have a reason. If you are genetically predisposed you can slip into depression for no identifiable reason. It's just cyclical.

Hi Lakelly, I just realised that you are eleven.

It is a little early to be worrying about what to do with your life. You might, like me, be a late bloomer academically. I failed my eleven plus (we still had it in those days) and was sent to a secondary modern school. Failing your eleven plus was a big thing in those days, it meant that you weren't considered that bright academically.

Despite that I later was able to pick subjects I was interested in, and did well enough that I passed the entrance exam to get into Oxford. So, don't worry too much about your academic ability at your age. When you find your specialty, the thing that interests you most, you'll find your academic happiness there. That's one of the good things about being aspie... the special interests. You'll probably go through a few special interests, and some of them will be daft (one of mine is Dr Who... they don't all have to be "useful" to make you happy.) But one day you'll find something that is yours, that you can truly enjoy, and... if you want to... excel at.

In the meantime, at the end of every day write a list.

Things that went wrong that make you depressed. Then screw it up and throw it away. It's gone now.

Things that went right, that you can be grateful for.
Put it in a "thanks" book or folder.

Watch the "thanks" list get longer, and over time the "screwed up list" get shorter.

That's all I can think of now.

Be mindful of the drugs that you take. Some of them have odd side effects in aspies. Claritin, for example, causes me to have depression so bad that I can't even get out of bed. Also, some SSRI's cause kids to become suicidal. Also, SSRI's do not work on everyone. In my case, for moderate depression, I drink coffee (caffeine) which helps a lot as long as I don't get too much. Too much causes meltdowns, not enough leads to depression.

PS-Being overweight -- you can't really blame that on aspergers - but I will say that you need to talk to your parents about getting you into a gym for cardio and weight training. No 11 year old boy should be overweight. That's just wrong. Your a smart kid so I wont go into diet because you know you need to avoid carbs.

I was diagnosed with learning disability at age 5 and aspergers not too long ago.

The weight issues could be triggered by the medication.

I think you need to go back and see your doctor, and be up front about how bad you feel. If you can't talk about it, write it down, and give it to him to read.

Coming off the meds might actually help.

hey young man....i too had lots of problems as a small kid and had no one to help me with them. good thing you realize what's going on with you.

listen pal, everyone here wants to help you through this. i can only tell you what finally worked for me.

long aerobic exercise was my savior. walking fast, then running some, then running long distances, then bicycling, then bicycling long distance. i became a marathoner, a bicycle racer and a free climber.

i felt better than ever before. depression was just gone. body fat---gone. long aerobic exercise is the key for many of us. it's hard...and it hurts at first......that goes away and it becomes like a terrific dream. worked for me.

Judging from posts in Parent's Discussion, you are far from the only person your age to suffer from depression. It's a tricky condition, however, in figuring out what to do about it, and may actually be affecting your life more than the AS.

Talk is a good start. Get out your feelings and frustration. Do you see a therapist on a regular basis?

Exercise is another good one, but I also know it can seem like the impossible thing to do. For that, I would ask your parents for help. Tell them what physical activity you would like to do and when, and tell them you need them to help you actually do it. It will take a while to feel the effects, but a moving body does do much to heal itself from conditions like depression.

Mostly I can tell you that you are not alone. There may even be other kids at school suffering as you are, but it's not like they - or you - are going to walk around with a sign on their heads announcing it. In a way, it's too bad, for having a real life connection with someone going through what you are could help.

And I can also tell you that how you feel today is not necessarily how you will feel tomorrow. Never, ever allow yourself to stop hoping that tomorrow will be a happier day.

I had my first experience with depression, at the age of nine. My parents didn't care enough to help me. They just sent me to my room, every time that I start crying. I remember one time that I started crying, after I came out of my room, because I missed a good part, of one of my mum's soap operas. She told me, that if I was going to start that up, again that I was going to be sent back into my room.

I've kept that all bottled up, inside until I had my breakdown, at the age of 23, 12 years ago in the spring.

I would not ewant to guess whether my sister was more depressed at that age than you are - but she was depressed enough.

No point talking snap out of it talk. I don't snap out of it, and I'm not depressive - I doubt ANYBODY snaps out of it, though some get motivated to fake.

But - hang on talk is another thing. Even my sister - who accumulated a lot of years of depression - is not at all badly off now.

The real underlying problem, I think, is that I don't enjoy many things, and don't enjoy any physical sport. The only things where I feel more than half-decent is on the computer (i'm a computer geek), reading books, and talking with my friends. Basically, everything else is either hard or un-enjoyable for me. I'm not exaggerating.