Growing discontent for society

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I thought privacy is what I wanted, so I bought a house. But, I see all I did was buy into the system making payments, a huge chunk of my paycheck every month in order to play house. Now I am having trouble justifying all these bills, I want adventure, I am tired of the comfort, but I am stuck helping out in the family business. I know if I don't help no one will, so there's that. I don't want to be selfish but I also don't want my life to pass me by.

I have no idea were I would want to go maybe a city, maybe a town, that's what makes the adventure right? I just get sick pretending I enjoy suburbia, enjoy the neighbor block parties, etc. It's all very strange for me and I would like to avoid it all.

I am still trying to get everything straightened out but in the mean time, has anyone felt like this and what did you do to fulfill those feelings?

Thanks

I just went after them, but I suspect you want to do that more responsibly!

I would love nothing more than to chase my dreams. Only thing holding me back is my family. I feel guilty just thinking about leaving them, I don't think I have the heart to, but I also don't think I have the heart to stay in the position I am now, safe, and comfortable.

I am not sure if you mean the family that you were born into, or the family that you are responsible for providing for. There is a crucial difference between the two.

If you live alone, then my recommendation is sell the house, and buy an apartment closer to the city (I recommend city over town--if suburbia doesn't suit you, town is unlikely to, either). Even if you take a bit of a loss on the house, at the end of the day you will likely be happier, and that's worth the cost.

On the other hand, if you have a spouse, a partner or children, then the discussion becomes much more complicated.

Sorry should have been more clear, no kids, no spouse, no girlfriend just mother, father and sister. My family is very materialistic and puts a strain on the business which in turn we have to work harder and longer, thus going deeper and deeper into the grind. I can keep this fake smile, but I won't be happy about it. I just want to enjoy the life given to me, and not worry about the superficial aspect anymore.

I'm slowly retracting, all my social skills, everything I have learned I am just sick of pretending. Why should I have to live the same life as everyone else? If I am different from everyone else why can't my life reflect that?

P.S. I don't know if moving into the city, my city would solve much. Part of the reason is there is no culture, no future, just present, and it sucks.

Go on a vacation, that should fulfilled your desire for adventure for now. You don't have to decide where you want to go right away. Take a vacation there and see how you like it first.

No matter where you go, there you are. Getting away from the suburbs won't change you. But with that in mind, I strongly recommend you move to a city.

I moved from a large suburb of Los Angeles to downtown L.A. and have lived here reasonably contendedly for over 12 years. I am trying to buy a house, but still within the older part of Los Angeles. I have friends who keep pestering me to move back to the suburbs and the whole idea is really unappealing to me. In the suburbs, everything is the same. Identical housing tracts broken up by identical commercial blocks. The people are nice enough, but in a bland way that seem to lack ambition beyond what they are going to watch on TV tonight or where they will go for next year's vacation.

There just seems to be more passion and interest in things in a city. Where else are you going to find a camera store that is open 24 hours a day? Or weird little specialized book stores. Or a community center for film making or for critical thinking? Cities have enough population to support people with highly specialized interests whereas suburbs can only support those that fit into the same uniform ideas.

But cities can have their down sides. They are noisy. They can get really crowded. (I spent about two hours in a traffic jam trying to move a few blocks when downtown L.A. was closed off for some cycling event a few months ago) There are more psychos and more homeless. There are more ambitious people who will happily walk all over you to get ahead. But there are also a lot of genuinely good, helpful people who will be happy to meet another person with similar interests.

If you can, rent out the house, and move to a city for a year or two. If you don't like it, you can come back. If you do, you might consider selling the house.

Leaving your family can be hard on both you and them. But the hardest part is the actual leaving. Once you have moved away, your relationship with them will find a new equlibrium and they will get along in their own way as you get along in yours.

Good luck

Animals work on instinct,and humans are animals.

If you kept going like this,you'd live nothing but discomfort.As you already noticed by yourself...

So my suggestion is that,a change of pace would be better.
It wouldn't be the change of location,but rather of your current activities.
Go and try new stuffs,exploring new countries,cities.You're bound to find what you've never found.And you might find some interesting stuffs elsewhere.As you stated before,you're sick of your current lifestyle.

Humans want to meet aliens while some of them had never met a penguin in its natural habitation before.

That said,try to find little things that you haven't noticed yet but are bound to be found and might interest you.

Good luck~~!

Ah, discontent with society, I know how you feel sometimes. I wish I could move to somewhere, make a life for myself somehow, even have someone that I would love...

But it doesn't seem to be happening anywhere, and I feel as if I'm just going to end up either homeless or killed in accidentally getting into a knife fight after my parents die, so this is what I'd like to have happen worldwide instead:



I know it sounds selfish, but I have been feeling similar...except I wish I could leave the auspices of my parents and it seems that it will never happen. Oh well, that's why I hope for an impending Armageddon...

Totally get it. Nowhere to hide - even wanderiing the roads you are in the system.

Only thing I have - disconnect. You do what you have to, but it does not have to be you. Most of my time is spent in my interests / work, I am in the world but it does not have to be in me.

Wise man once was asked, How do I control these thoughts, these feelings?

Wise man says, if your windows are open, can you keep the wind and flies from coming in?

Student says, No.

Wise man says "Right" - but you do not have to intgeract with them. Let them fly in one window out the other.

[genuine guru story, not my own]

Disconnecting would not be good enough for me, methinks.

I wish I could change myself to be a complete psychopath, with no conscience whatsoever, so I could just kill people, rob them, or worse, without any compunction. The sort of evil person who would murder a heap of people then go back to his accomodation and have a roast dinner without even a twinge of guilt. I feel that good people get nowhere in this world, because in my understanding, this world is ruled by Satan.

I would be better off as one of Satan's own, I would think...